Coping Mechanisms

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bellakell
New Member


Date Joined May 2011
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 5/29/2011 4:32 AM (GMT -7)   
Back story: I'm a 26 year old divorced mother of two. After my divorce I entered into a relationship with someone I had known for about 9 years. I guess its safe to say he was my best friend. Or one of them. We were together for 2 years when I found a huge stash of **** on his computer. This **** included child ****ography. Nothing incredibly graphic but children non the less. I was devastated. I broke up with him. After a few weeks I decided that I loved him and would help him to get help for his problem. After a year things were good. No ****. Or so I thought. One day while at home with my children, about 2 months after we moved in together, I was searching for a movie on his computer for the kids to watch. I found more ****. Including child ****. AND not just child **** but the same little girl I found a year earlier. I freaked out and called the police. I moved out that day. Its been about 2 months since this happened.

All of my friends and family say that I should be over it by now and that what he did was so horrible that I should be able to move on. And while I never plan on going back to him EVER I still find it hard to deal with the fact that after putting my entire self into this relationship for 3 years that this is what I got in return. I wasnt perfect. I got mad over stupid stuff and could be a little selfish but he ruined everything. He says that I betrayed him!

I hate sleeping by myself at night. I hate the feeling that Im 26 and single with two children and living with my parents bc Im still in school and cant support myself. I miss having someone to come home to in my own home. Having someone to watch a movie with on the couch in the middle of the night. Someone to call in the middle of the day just to say I love you. I miss holding hands. I miss sex with someone who was only mine. I miss goofy pictures with our faces pressed together. I miss everything......and I want to know how to deal with it. So far I just cry all night. I dont sleep at night anymore. I have to take my kids to the sitter during the day bc Im so tired and depressed.

I just need some coping mechanisms or ways to deal. Anyone have any ideas or things that they use that might be helpful?

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 35399
   Posted 5/29/2011 6:19 AM (GMT -7)   
First of all, I am so proud of you for turning him in. Have you talked to your children to make sure there was nothing going on when he was alone with them? I would hate to think he put your children through anything. What a sicko. I don't know what to say.

It will take time to heal through this. Whoever told you to get over it is crazy. You have felt betrayed and that is hard to deal with. So have patience with yourself.This is going to take some time to get through. So be gentle with yourself. You will find somebody to be with. In time. You have to heal first.

Are you seeing anybodfy for counseling? I highly recommmend that.

I will write more later. Very tired right now. Am concerned about you.

Take care, keep posting.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 13379
   Posted 5/29/2011 10:43 PM (GMT -7)   
many healing and compassionate prayers to you bellakell. jamie.
SCHIZO-AFFECTIVE DISORDER, EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER, BORDERLINE TYPE -AXIS 2 , RAPID CYCLING BI-POLAR DISORDER

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.
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