the weekends are easier at the moment. as i dont have to do anything
but the essential. during the week there are things needed to be done and requires more effort!
A lot depends on the weather; a rainy day (like today) makes me want to lay in my flannel jammies on the couch with hot chocolate and a stupid old black and white movie from the 30's. Then I feel very isolated, even though my husband is within arm's reach.
Come On, Spring.. ! haha..
There are usually days where I just don't care about anything and then there are days where I get really emotional and upset for some reason and get ballistic. Right now, I'm just frustrated and upset for a few reasons: the 1st being that I can't find a decent job. I've applied to almost every store, and get the same negative feedback: "We're not hiring right now, but we'll hold onto your application for a few months", "We need people with experience, and you don't seem to have any", etc. I've been told so many times to look elsewhere and try a job placement thing, but I'm sick of being reminded so many times by my family and my psychiatrist to do so (It's like i'm being pressured).
The 2nd is that I've been stuck in the same community college for almost 3 years just because I can't pass any of the math courses! I've had a learning disorder since I was 3, and one of the long-term weaknesses I've had was mathematics. If I don't pass a certain math course, I have to repeat it and I'm left behind again!
Then the 3rd happens to be my family. Normally, it's been a love/hate relationship, but now I'm not so sure. I can't tell as to whether they really care about me and want the best, or they want me out of their house since I've been nothing but a lost cause to them since I became depressed.