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GIjo
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2005
Total Posts : 24
   Posted 3/20/2005 10:21 AM (GMT -7)   
hello . first time here so ill intro myself. im 24, mother of 2 recently given the lable depression confused not sure why i would have it and would like to speak with others who are a bit more experienced and life like to the people around me.
 
 

Post Edited (GIjo) : 3/20/2005 10:44:41 AM (GMT-7)


RainDance
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2005
Total Posts : 253
   Posted 3/20/2005 4:05 PM (GMT -7)   

Hi GIjo and Welcome to the Forum.. !

Well, first off, you can see by the postings that you are not alone.  We all come here from different backgrounds, geography, financial positions and health levels, etc.

You say you've been "given the label," depression.  May I suggest to you that it is a condition, not a character flaw.

It sounds as if you are being seen by a professional; that's a step in the right direction.  They will give you tools to help deal with whatever brought you to this place in your life and also, to mend you going forward.

Look around thru the threads and you are bound to find someone with similar fears and questions. 

I hope you find it comfortable here and that we can help you as you begin your road to healing.

Again, welcome to the group.. !

 


RainDance
 
We get through this one day at a time.. :)


Akram
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2005
Total Posts : 616
   Posted 3/21/2005 3:14 AM (GMT -7)   
GIjo,

Don't worry about being labeled with deppresion, not sure who has labeled you and if its a doctor then thats good news that you are seeing someone already to share your experience with him and find out how to deal with it . on the other hand if its a friend or relative that is labeling you, make sure to take it seruisly maybe they are doing that because they are worried about you.

The only person who would know if your really deppresed or not is you in the end, tell me do you love your self right now? is there something that you have a problem dealing with in your life and causeing some sort of constant pain? do you feel happy? these questions you can ask your self and being deppresed is something you have to deal with on a daily basis.

How are you doing with life in general are you satisfied, do you feel angry sometimes and don't know why? do you feel stress or problems with sleeping sometimes?

and welcome to our forum :)
                                                     To be or not to Be


GIjo
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2005
Total Posts : 24
   Posted 3/22/2005 8:21 PM (GMT -7)   
:-)  Hi thanks for replying.
 
at the moment i am having a difficult time, thinking a lot. so much i beleive i could drive myself crazy.
I have been taking anti depressants for 4 weeks, not long, i know. have prev had anti depressants before, i was about 17, but didnt really take them for very long.
 
To get to this point i have been arrested three times and while held a phsyc nurse spoke with me and advise me to see doctor. She has been to see me 3 times at home and i have been to doctor 3 times. I wont be seeing either for another 4 weeks. not sure whats going to happen in the next 4 weeks. I could go completly daft or maybe things will change for the better. not sure.
 
It has been difficult for me to speak with these people. i am usually a listener not a talker. i can feel quite uncomfortable in social situations especially in one on one situations. The right words dont come. so to carry on seeing these people is hard. ive tried talking with my boyfriend, mum as they are worried about me but the things i say upset them and i dont want to upset them.
 
so now i find myself feeling frustrated and dont quite know what to do. any "proffessional" help is 4 weeks away. they must not think i have a problem? 4 weeks seems a long time away to me. im not even sure if a do have actual depression or if im being daft. The docotor hasnt given a specific type of depression - should he do this? do i need it?
 
every little thing, im thinking about all the time it seems i cant switch my brain off.  im fed up of thinking all the time. 
Im not sure if this is my first proper depression or if ive always been depressed, it feels like it sometimes. 
 
i know i need to help myself  but i cant make the effort i am drained.
 
So i wonder if any of the above makes sense or sounds a load of rubbish or even says anything at all. im confused. help

RainDance
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2005
Total Posts : 253
   Posted 3/23/2005 7:29 AM (GMT -7)   

Hey, GIjo...

I'm wondering why your next appointment is 4 weeks away.  That seems a bit further away than I would want to wait.

If you are able, I would find another avenue that would get you an appointment with a professional sooner.  What country are you in?  Maybe they do things different in different countries...

And, most of us don't like to put our deep feelings into words so, you are not alone in that.  It took me several visits to the Therapist to begin to even let out some of the anguish I felt.  Sometimes we just talked about the weather or life in general but, she built my trust and confidence in her so that eventually, I looked forward to seeing her and off-loading the years of build up.

Please see what you can do about getting in sooner. 

Let us know how you're doing..


RainDance
 
We get through this one day at a time.. :)


GIjo
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2005
Total Posts : 24
   Posted 3/23/2005 10:09 AM (GMT -7)   
im in england
i dont know what other avenues to try and im not quite sure if i really want to try. Its seems a lot easier to try and get on with it rather than bug anyone else. i know i have to help myself the people i have spoken to dont seem to give me any good advice they just confuse me more.
 
And besides as i dont have to worry about seeing the proffessionals for at least 4 weeks i can be alone with my 2 daughters this feels good and secure. i dont have to talk to anyone when im alone and i can do or dont do as i please.
 
I am reluctant to say i have actual depression especially now the professionals seem to have bailed, if i had depression they would be more active! wouldnt they?
 
any advice?

RainDance
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2005
Total Posts : 253
   Posted 3/23/2005 11:05 AM (GMT -7)   

Hi GIjo..

Well, not sure how they go about things there, maybe someone else in the Forum lives there and can offer suggestions on the health care system???

Please let me urge you to look for help outside for yourself. 

Depression is to the mind, what a serious disease is to the body and, we seek medical help for that. 

I know that it seems an effort to make that first push to find a doctor/therapist right now but, you will discorver after a bit of treatment that it is worth it.

We don't have the tools, on our own, to fight this and the therapists can give you good ideas and tools to help you cope with and change your thought processes.

You're worth it.  No one should or needs to live with depression.  I would simply go to the family member you feel safesty with and tell them you need their help to find a therapist and you need it now.. will they do it for you as you are not able to do it for yourself.  Explain to them it is as if it is a disease and you need someone to take you to the doctor.  This is no different.

Maybe seek a different set of doctors, as they need to be a bit more attentive to your needs. 

Your family loves you and, speaking as a mom, your child is not bugging you when they ask for help.  Moms want the best for their daughters, in everything.

So please, talk with a close family memeber, give them information that will help them help you.  You don't have to live like this and there are better days waiting for you to enjoy.

Good luck and let us know how you are doing.


RainDance
 
We get through this one day at a time.. :)


Having2LeftFeet
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2005
Total Posts : 472
   Posted 3/23/2005 11:28 AM (GMT -7)   
:-)  Welcome to the group. I can say from experience that this is the best support I have had for a long time. No one will judge you nor will they put you down. If you ask for advice, they will give it to you honestly. I am very thankful for the moderators here. They are caring and very fair.
 
I am sorry that you have such large issues as such a tender age. I don't know all your circumstances other than what you posted but it sounds to me like you have issues as young as the teen years. Depression is something that plagues thousands of people a day. Millions, I should say. People with depression suffer for many reasons. Lonelyness, bad childhood, bad marriage, illnesses that can't be cured, rough life, accident disfigurements, and I could go on and one. Brushes with the law for you is a result of depression. It's not the reason you are depressed, (hey, someone correct me if I am wgong. I am a big girl and can take it ...LOL) You were and are depressed and did things that someone of a happier version wouldn't do, I suspect. Lets put it this way, I did something out of shear desperation that has caused me pain for over 4 years. I hust family and I have had to live with that no matter how many times I say I am sorry. They have forgiven me but I am yet to forgive myself. I am half way there. The one thing you also have to realize is that you are not alone. This group will support you and the best things is that there are no faces to the names unless a member has decided to put their pic up. I rather like the idea that no one can see me and just deal with my issues. Names and no faces.
 
I hope you find comfort here. I believe for every action there is a reaction. Your reaction may be to find peace and happiness. I hope so!
 
H2LF
There is no such word as can't. Can't simply means wouln't. Grab as much as life as you can. Future is a long way away for those who don't believe. Don't build a foundation of life on sand. It will take it away with the tide. Love a little more, be unkind a lot less.


GIjo
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2005
Total Posts : 24
   Posted 3/23/2005 2:58 PM (GMT -7)   
thanks for replying.
 
I do have close family around me. But i feel distant from them and unable to tell the hole story. Jeese if i told my mum i may be suicidal she would freek out. and i cant upset them that way.
I have spoken with the doctor and told him i have sometimes thought about it and also the phsyc nurse that they pop in my head sometimes. I have attempted b4 once when 17 (wasnt really serious) and a couple of weeks ago i started an attempt but realised that wasnt the way to go.(i have told the doctor about this).
 
im confused and unsure of what to do. my instict is to run off but what will that solve, you cant run away from yourself.
 
sorry to be in such a depressive talking mood. what should i do?

Having2LeftFeet
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2005
Total Posts : 472
   Posted 3/24/2005 1:38 AM (GMT -7)   
smurf  GIjo,
Whenever suicide is mentioned, I get scared for the person talking about it. There are so many things that lie ahead for you. Good things. Suicide is a reaction to an action. It leaves a family scared for life. You are worth more than anything to think about it. I always said that it is the easy way out, without having to deal with the problems of every day life. The difference is that those that commit suicide leave a lot of loved ones behind asking if they should have seen the signs then blaming themselves for it. Stick with your counselors and come to the group and get a lot of good advice from a lot of caring people. Hugs
 
H2LF
There is no such word as can't. Can't simply means wouln't. Grab as much as life as you can. Future is a long way away for those who don't believe. Don't build a foundation of life on sand. It will take it away with the tide. Love a little more, be unkind a lot less.


Akram
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2005
Total Posts : 616
   Posted 3/24/2005 7:24 AM (GMT -7)   
Your thinking of suicide that means your in a very serius condition, so you can't pretend that your not deppresed, you are deppresed and you have to get out of that place, slowly but confidantly.

It's really good you have the support of your family around you, work with them you need each other that's very important. and you don't have to tell your mother that your suicidal but you can certainly try and reach out to her and try and explain your situation. tell her deppresion is a seruis desease if not treated the person will destroy him self slowly, it is as seruis as taking drugs or such destructive activities.

Remember the solution to all your deppresion is how you deal with it , the doctor can give you ideas but you have to really do them. we can give you ideas or information , but you have to be strong you need to love yourself for who you are, don't fall in that deppresive hall, fight it and fight it hard.

Don't give up, we all have our low times and good times, you are still young and have your whole life ahead of you. think about what you want to do in 10 or 20 years time , watch your kids grow and take care of them , think of your mother and how she raised you, ask her how was it for her maybe you both can relate this way.

Good luck to you , and always keep hoping for the best!
                                                     To be or not to Be


GIjo
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2005
Total Posts : 24
   Posted 3/24/2005 10:43 AM (GMT -7)   

hi akram thanks for your reply.

you say a solution to my depression is how i deal with it. i dont think i dealing with particulaly well. i should be ashamed to say i smoke cannabis freq and now ive started drinking on an evening(not something i would normally do) i know this isnt helping anything and i expect you probably think im just a druggie or alchaholic but seriously im not. or i dont think i am?

i know what im supposed to do to make life better but it seems i have no will to do so.

i am thinking about my kids and i know the actions i am doing are affecting them and could maybe harm them in their future. but its like i dont want to help myself, if i did i would do it. right?

ive been to the proffessionals but its like they are not interested, i have told them of my thoughts about suic. it feels like ive been abandond but i have made people abandon me by my actions. i also have to act differently with somepeole depending on how i think they view me so i feel unable to reach out to family. im unsure of the future and seem to have no control in where its going, i have but i havent. know what i mean?

do you understand me or am i confusing you. im confused and unsure of myself, what should i do?


Having2LeftFeet
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2005
Total Posts : 472
   Posted 3/25/2005 5:35 AM (GMT -7)   
GIjo,
It is not unusual for a depressed person to turn to any forms of addictions. It's called "searching" for Mr. Good Bar. You and I are looking for comfort and we settle for anything that gives that comfort. My was drug addiction, however, I feel so proud when I can say I am recovering over 900+ days. Try to put your attention on something that would help others and turn away from your problems. It will help!

Hugs,
"Lefty"
There is no such word as can't. Can't simply means wouln't. Grab as much as life as you can. Future is a long way away for those who don't believe. Don't build a foundation of life on sand. It will take it away with the tide. Love a little more, be unkind a lot less.


CheerDad
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2004
Total Posts : 2284
   Posted 3/25/2005 9:39 AM (GMT -7)   
Sorry so late adding my welcome. I have been on vacation. Hope you find the answers you are looking for.
 

We can respond to irritation with a smile instead of scowl, or by giving warm praise instead of icy indifference. By our being understanding instead of abrupt, others, in turn, may decide to hold on a little longer rather than to give way. Love, patience, and meekness can be just as contagious as rudeness and crudeness.

 
Randy

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