Post Edited (GIjo) : 3/20/2005 10:44:41 AM (GMT-7)
Hi GIjo and Welcome to the Forum.. !
Well, first off, you can see by the postings that you are not alone. We all come here from different backgrounds, geography, financial positions and health levels, etc.
You say you've been "given the label," depression. May I suggest to you that it is a condition, not a character flaw.
It sounds as if you are being seen by a professional; that's a step in the right direction. They will give you tools to help deal with whatever brought you to this place in your life and also, to mend you going forward.
Look around thru the threads and you are bound to find someone with similar fears and questions.
I hope you find it comfortable here and that we can help you as you begin your road to healing.
Again, welcome to the group.. !
I'm wondering why your next appointment is 4 weeks away. That seems a bit further away than I would want to wait.
If you are able, I would find another avenue that would get you an appointment with a professional sooner. What country are you in? Maybe they do things different in different countries...
And, most of us don't like to put our deep feelings into words so, you are not alone in that. It took me several visits to the Therapist to begin to even let out some of the anguish I felt. Sometimes we just talked about the weather or life in general but, she built my trust and confidence in her so that eventually, I looked forward to seeing her and off-loading the years of build up.
Please see what you can do about getting in sooner.
Let us know how you're doing..
Well, not sure how they go about things there, maybe someone else in the Forum lives there and can offer suggestions on the health care system???
Please let me urge you to look for help outside for yourself.
Depression is to the mind, what a serious disease is to the body and, we seek medical help for that.
I know that it seems an effort to make that first push to find a doctor/therapist right now but, you will discorver after a bit of treatment that it is worth it.
We don't have the tools, on our own, to fight this and the therapists can give you good ideas and tools to help you cope with and change your thought processes.
You're worth it. No one should or needs to live with depression. I would simply go to the family member you feel safesty with and tell them you need their help to find a therapist and you need it now.. will they do it for you as you are not able to do it for yourself. Explain to them it is as if it is a disease and you need someone to take you to the doctor. This is no different.
Maybe seek a different set of doctors, as they need to be a bit more attentive to your needs.
Your family loves you and, speaking as a mom, your child is not bugging you when they ask for help. Moms want the best for their daughters, in everything.
So please, talk with a close family memeber, give them information that will help them help you. You don't have to live like this and there are better days waiting for you to enjoy.
Good luck and let us know how you are doing.
hi akram thanks for your reply.
you say a solution to my depression is how i deal with it. i dont think i dealing with particulaly well. i should be ashamed to say i smoke cannabis freq and now ive started drinking on an evening(not something i would normally do) i know this isnt helping anything and i expect you probably think im just a druggie or alchaholic but seriously im not. or i dont think i am?
i know what im supposed to do to make life better but it seems i have no will to do so.
i am thinking about my kids and i know the actions i am doing are affecting them and could maybe harm them in their future. but its like i dont want to help myself, if i did i would do it. right?
ive been to the proffessionals but its like they are not interested, i have told them of my thoughts about suic. it feels like ive been abandond but i have made people abandon me by my actions. i also have to act differently with somepeole depending on how i think they view me so i feel unable to reach out to family. im unsure of the future and seem to have no control in where its going, i have but i havent. know what i mean?
do you understand me or am i confusing you. im confused and unsure of myself, what should i do?
We can respond to irritation with a smile instead of scowl, or by giving warm praise instead of icy indifference. By our being understanding instead of abrupt, others, in turn, may decide to hold on a little longer rather than to give way. Love, patience, and meekness can be just as contagious as rudeness and crudeness.