You are really going thru a trial and I'm sure it's taking its toll on you.
When I read what you wrote, I hurt inside for you and your son. I have one daughter and seven grand children. There isn't anything more precious to me than those people. I can't imagine how I would handle anything like what you are surviving.
I have to tell you that I am certainly not qualified to address your concerns but, only can give you comfort and remind you that there is always hope.. always a chance for the help to work.
How old is your son?
Just a thought but, if he's in high school, with enough credits to graduate, maybe a career in the military where he can channel his interests in explosives, into a useable talent.
I'm sure you and the professionals involved have thought of just about everything. I have found in my own experience that kids get a bit troublesome when they are bored. Add a bit of internal turmoil to it and they start to get into trouble. Maybe some kind of employment would give him some self respect and a sense of self worth.
Take each new day as a new chance that there will be a breakthrough for him; a new opportunity for change.. if not today, then tomorrow will be better. Don't give up hoping; he's worth it.
Be sure you are getting plenty of rest also; we can tolerate things better when we are not tired.
Good luck and God bless. Let us know how you and your son are doing.
I remember days I couldn't write or think happy thoughts, and I spent part of those days writing my sad and angry thoughts to a friend who listened, without judging me.
Letting these thoughts and feelings bubble out is sometimes helpful, as we can only hold so much. That's why this Forum is here; it's a place we can off-load some of the yuck without fear of pointing fingers, placing blame or judgement.
And besides, when you are off-loading, maybe someone else who has "been there done that," will have an idea that may help.
I can hear in your tone your feelings and can only remind you that this trouble will pass. You will endure it and you will come out of it; if not today, then tomorrow.