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alex000
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2011
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 7/24/2011 11:08 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi all my name is Alex Im 27 and I have been depressed for as long as I can remember. I am very lonely I dont have family or friends I spend all my time at home just watching t.v or online, I only leave the house for work and to get food. I am not suicidal, but I am really sick and tired of living this way I want to change but I am too scared to try new things. I am very comfortable in my misery and I dont have anyone that understands so I just continue wasting my life. I hope to talk to people with similar situations for mutual support, I figure this is some type of a first step.

THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 13015
   Posted 7/25/2011 3:42 AM (GMT -6)   
yes alex. your reaching out. have you considered any allied suppoort, ie counselling? i am in therapy and it really helps. keep walking, good to get out. clears the head. know that we are here for you. others will post soon. welcome to the forum. with healing compassion, jamie
SCHIZO-AFFECTIVE DISORDER, EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER, BORDERLINE TYPE -AXIS 2 , RAPID CYCLING BI-POLAR DISORDER

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

firebird227
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2011
Total Posts : 18
   Posted 7/25/2011 3:49 AM (GMT -6)   
Well, you sound a lot like me. I don't have a job and I'm a bit younger but I do spend a good 98% of my time in my room. On my computer mostly. If I get a chance to go out I usually do but it's rare. We don't have much money and what we do have goes for essentials. The internet ties to our phone so that's the only reason I'm even here.

Anyway.. I know exactly how it feels. Do you live somewhere there might be groups to join? Anything you're interested in. I wish I didn't live so far from town or things probably wouldn't be like they are where I am. Middle of nowhere haha.

Like jamiee I think a counselor or going to your doctor about the depression would be a good first step to feeling better. There's also resources here in the forum you can read up on until other things can get started. I've done that.

rocnrlr
New Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 1/26/2014 1:27 AM (GMT -6)   
I know exactly what you are going through, Alex. I am in the same rut. I isolate myself, and the only reason I can give for that is that I'm just not interested in interacting with people. Yet I am so alone and bored. I would be interested in one relationship with someone who can even understand me, but who would? I have done this to myself. I am a fit-looking, attractive woman, intelligent and well-educated, who has become a reclusive...loser. When I do get out--for work or necessary errands--I can put on a fairly good act! But I hate it. I don't want to die, but what else is there at this point? I wish I could be more interested in getting out and doing things. Well, you are not alone!!

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 35074
   Posted 1/26/2014 6:21 AM (GMT -6)   
Rpcnrlr,

This is a really old thread and some of the people aren't even on the forum anymore. You may do better by starting a new one. That can be done by clicking on "new topic" and going from there.

I tend to isolate myself too. I am happy alone. But I do go out around people on occasion. It is healthy.

You are not a loser, so don't even say that. You just need some help right now.

Keep posting, as it does help...

Hugs, Karen...
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Gizzy'n me
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2013
Total Posts : 1870
   Posted 1/26/2014 2:26 PM (GMT -6)   
Hello .......
 
   I think this may apply to all three people who wrote here - of a similar problem.
 
   Isolation .... bored .... lonely .... non-interacting with others!
 
   Most, if not all of these things, are self-created. And I doubt that any of you are really living alone - that is - no other person in the same household - and no other means of support but yourself.
 
   So ..... try a therapist or psychologist. They are professionals trained to bring out the fears of people - and guiding people thru those fears. We all at times, need some professional help. And there is a truism - that before we can expect someone to love us .... we have to learn how to love ourselves first.
 
   Try it.
 
Rob & Gizmo
 
 
  

rocnrlr
New Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 1/26/2014 3:06 PM (GMT -6)   
Rob,

I HAVE seen a therapist AND psychologist AND psychiatrist...regularly siince age 14!!! That's a no-brainer, and your advice is almost moot.

And, though you may DOUBT I am truly living alone, I am. I have no other means of support but myself. I have no family nearby. I do have an old, dying cat and an old parrot. That's it.

So don't assume anything about forum posters. You couldn't be farther from my reality!

allie

BnotAfraid
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2012
Total Posts : 4110
   Posted 1/26/2014 3:59 PM (GMT -6)   
Allie,

No family nearby, but you do have family. That is more than some people have.

If you feel so alone and are truely reaching out for help, you must realize that people here at the forum are not mind readers and are only trying to help the best they can. We are here to support and listen.

Through your battle with depression have you tried a support group? I have been in one for 18mos now and find it very helpful. Sometimes trying, most times helpful.

You could also join a local book club for a cursery circle of contacts to start with. You can start slow getting to know some people. You do not have to be alone if you do not wish.

These are just 2 suggestions, there are many more.

Peace and courage
Trina
Moderator - Depression
Be still and know there is Peace.

Kabir says: "Student tell me, what is God? He is the breath inside the breath". from the poem Breath.
DX: reverse Trigeminal Neuralgia;Cluster headaches; Atypical face pain; raynauds;complex PTSD; recurring MDD,disassociative disorder;

Gizzy'n me
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2013
Total Posts : 1870
   Posted 1/27/2014 10:49 AM (GMT -6)   
Allie ......
 
   First, please bear in mind I was, in a general way, addressing three different people who seemed to have very similar barriers - and none of the three gave very much information of themselves. So assuming was really the only option ..... or not writing a post at all.
 
   Second, many of us - me included, have been there (or worse) before ... or still are there. So the statements I made for example are not from a Sociology course or two taken in college. They're real life examples of truly being alone and in isolation - sometimes thru devastating times.
 
   Your response to me was so negative. You are hurting - and I am sorry for that. Although I did not create the reasons for your unhappiness, if i can help, I would be glad to try to help.
   If this helps you to understand, I have been living alone (with my dog or his predecessor) for many years. I have been to three different psychologists for three very different life problems including terminal cancer. And I buried my last remaining close relative (older than me) 10-days ago.
   My above was not a pity party ... just a reality check! And of course, there's more!
 
   If you want to put aside the negativity for a brief moment - write more on this thread. There are several here who would be glad to help you.
 
Peace and wellness
 
Rob & Gizmo
 
 
  

rocnrlr
New Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 1/27/2014 2:32 PM (GMT -6)   
Thanks Rob. I am sorry to hear of your ongoing situation.
As you may or may not know from your experience, counseling can take the edge off, but it is not that helpful in the long run. And meds can often make matters worse with horrible side effects. I have been on Wellbutrin for months. It's the only anti-depressant my body can tolerate. However, it did not get rid of the constant thoughts of death, suffering, and hopelessness that plague me. (I may even have been more sociable before the Wellbutrin.)

I don't know about you, but I am agnostic. It drives me crazy to hear others' stories about how their relationship with Jesus saved them. I can't relate to that at all. I have tried asking God for help, gone to church, etc. but it just isn't for me. It feels so awkward and ridiculous, and there's never any kind of epiphany when I do try to open my mind to it. So religion's out. Not having strong faith is a negative, I guess, as others who do are much happier.

I apologize for my negative tone. It comes from the cynicism and anger I have toward the world for allowing people and animals to suffer--and for believing that, with liberal immigration policies we will all be better off (a fallacy). It is so devastating to me, a dual British citizen, to see England fall. I guess I should stop keeping myself informed, as it just brings more heartache and frustration, for I cannot change anything.

Where do you live, Rob? (That's another thing. I feel like I want to "get out of here" and move...all the time. I feel like if I move, things might get better--I'd have a fresh start. That's a fallacy, too.)

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 35074
   Posted 1/27/2014 3:24 PM (GMT -6)   
Counseling is good for the long run. It is not just temporary. Maybe you haven't had a good counselor yet. And it is not just talking about your problems, you have to work on it. You have to continue to put in the work even after the session is over.

Try not to be cynical. The world isn't that bad. There are good and bad people and things, you just have to know who is who.

We aren't suppose to discuss religion here so I wont go into any of that.

It does sound like you have a lot of anger, and probably is well due, but try to get past that. It only hurts yourself. There is a lot to be said for a good attitude, practice that. Maybe learn some meditation or get some positive affirmations. Even books help. Life is short. So live it well...

I hope that you feel better soon.

Hugs, Karen...
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Gizzy'n me
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2013
Total Posts : 1870
   Posted 1/27/2014 3:48 PM (GMT -6)   
Hello Allie ......
 
   Thanks for writing so soon. I'de like to respond to your comments and questions. I have little experience in anti-depressants with Lexapro as the only one ever taken - so I can't comment much on the meds of that type.
   My first experience with a psychologist was a very good one - and it was a lasting experience. It was at time of personal family loss, and ramifications of a divorce and a bad business year. It uncovered some weaknesses of mine - and the psychologist led me in some positive directions. Hidden guilt - not mine but forced upon me by a parent over her lifetime was addressed.
   I have to admit my second experience with a psychologist was not very good. It was during a relationship - that failed anyway. And the most recent is an occassional meeting with a psychologist who specializes with terminal illnesses. He's good, but I think I have most of my ducks in a row - so i don't need to see him that often.
 
   So ...... your belief is that a psychologist is not that helpful in the long run. Maybe ...... just maybe ...... it was either the wrong psychologist or the wrong timing. I have a personal thing against psychiatrists (right or wrong ... I still have it). I happen to view them as pill-popper prescribers - and that's only because of one bad experience thru a relationship partner. But ... we are often a summary of our experiences!
 
   I was a borderline agnostic for a long time. I'm not any longer. There is a support group I recently starting going to - a small group for cancer patients - regarding spirituality. I've just been to two of them so far, but after the first meeting ... there were four of us who stayed about 45-minutes after the group meeting to discuss spirituality .... and one of the four is a proclaimed athiest. It was surprising how much we had in common when viewed in the area of spirituality - or oneness with nature.
   So ..... we don't always have to be judgemental or be the recipient of being judged when talking about religion.
 
   I need to apologize now .... for not understanding the apparent frustration you do have regarding your feelings about England. I am ignorant of the immigeration policies you've referred to - but, since I am an American, we do have some very upsetting political and financial policies of our own. 
   I'm in the heart of the frozen midwest myself - or the Chicago area, and we're having a worse than normal January. By the way .... several of those who frequently write on the Depression Forum are either from England or Canada .... I believe a few from Europe and at least one from Australia. We cover a pretty wide area.
 
   Incidentaly ...... two of my best friends were a Norweigan Elkhound named Bear - who I lost April 4, 2012 .... and is a Samoyed named Gizmo who helps keep me sane ....... usually!
 
Peace and wellness
 
Rob & Gizmo
 
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