I've Lost Everything

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ByTheWay
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2011
Total Posts : 6
   Posted 7/31/2011 12:20 AM (GMT -6)   
A year ago I had a full time job, I was healthy, we had 3 cars and lived in a modest home.

After having a "nervous breakdown" in November, I have lost my health, job, health insurance, 2 cars, and soon my house. I went through counseling but now can no longer afford. I was on Citaloprim but again, no health insurance now.

What led up to the nervous breakdown was a few things. First, huge financial stresses. My husband "John" has a problem. We've been married a decade or so..He is terrible with money and doesn't take care of me at all. I was working full time at a rather stressful job for many years. He was always broke, bouncing checks, paying fees. I discovered he ran up over $20,000 a few years ago and refinanced our house to help take care of it. The mortgage was 55% of my take home pay..I said I can't do this for long, now that you've got those charges gone you need to help. I took on extra hours for awhile, but it was exhausting since I normally already worked 60 hours a week and have a disabled son to care for.

Well he got back into debt, somehow, almost $26,000 and was never able to help me with the mortgage. I made a mistake at work by forgetting to work an extra day I was assigned to work last summer, and there were some repercussions. I wasn't fired, but so ashamed. I kept working but one day, I started crying and couldn't stop. I called in sick at work, that was the first week of November. I did go to the doctor that very day, and they were thinking about putting me in the hospital but instead did outpatient therapies through January.

This spring we had to declare bankruptcy. I was getting nauseous and panicky even thinking of going to work at ANY job, even though I knew we were already in terrible financial straits and me not working exacerbated it. My car was repossessed. We'll be losing my house of many years, too.

I feel like I have nothing left inside for my husband. I blame him for so much. This is his second bankruptcy, he did it in his first marriage too. Now, I'm losing my house that I had long before I met him, and my car, but he gets to keep his car. Really fair.



My husband is a "nice man". He really is. But I feel like honestly he must not give a %&$ or he would have taken care of us. I can't even leave him, because where the heck would we go? I'm sure I'm making his life a living hell right now too with the crying, anger and depression, but the main part of me doesn't care if he's miserable or not.

I AM working again...it's part time. I tried a job in April, but had a very bad experience with a co-worker there who was harassing me (a workplace bully). I have almost no capacity to handle heavy stress and found that hugely stressful and quit after 2 months. I got a different kind of job in June, but only bringing home about $800 a month so we can't live on that. There's almost no stress though, and I might be getting more hours soon.

I just don't know what to do. We can't get into any apartments that I've found yet, because of the bankruptcy. I can't get health insurance at my job and my husband says he can't get me on his until next year and then it will be very expensive. I can't seem to get motivated to do much but listen to music and sit around.

Post Edited By Moderator (getting by) : 8/5/2011 4:24:59 PM (GMT-6)


It's Genetic
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 1540
   Posted 7/31/2011 10:55 AM (GMT -6)   
Hello, ByTheWay, and welcome to the forum.

You need to take action; see a lawyer so that you may rest assured that things will be taken care of for you and the child. Anything less than that might not secure your life for you as you move into bankruptcy. And don't consider it revenge; you need protection, and a good attorney will provide that for you.

Take care of your health as best you can in the days to come until
the stress is over.

It's Genetic

Chartreux
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 8090
   Posted 7/31/2011 1:13 PM (GMT -6)   
I agree with Genetic, seek out help from an attorney, then maybe go and get some help from WIC
Woman's Infant Children to see if they can help with food, also maybe look into SSI for your son.
Maybe contact your local church pastor for help...
gettingby will be by with better advise on how to seek out some free or low costs counseling...
keep us posted we do care...
**********************************************
* So many dx's I could write a book* "It would be nice if we could use the edit button in real life"...
********>^..^<********>^..^<*******

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 34267
   Posted 8/2/2011 8:57 AM (GMT -6)   
Here is some free online counseling that might help you...
 
 
 
 
I hope that this helps you.  I agree with talking to somebody, possibly an attorney and find out where you stand in this.  This shouldn't all fall on you.  Your husband has to have some responsiblity in this.  I am sorry for what he has put you through.  And you are right, it isn't fair.  But seeing he has done this in the past with another woman, I would keep an eye on the finances from now on.
 
I can appreciate the solace in listening to music and just relaxing, you need that.  But you are going to have to take the bull by the horns and take control of this situation.  Don't give your husband any access to the money with out you knowing what is going on.  You can't let him continue to put you into dire straits.  You are going to buckle with time.  Take charge of your life with the help of counseling.  There are many facilities that will work on a sliding scale, in which your fee could be little or nothing.  Just to get you back on track.  A financial advisor would be good too.  I hope that you can get out of this mess.  Hang in there for your child, he needs you and needs to feel secure as you can possibly make him feel.
 
Know that we are all here for you.
 
Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

CassandraLee
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 771
   Posted 8/2/2011 9:34 AM (GMT -6)   
Hello, ByTheWay. I am so, so, sorry to read of everything you have been going through. No wonder you have been anxious and depressed to the extent that you describe.

I think everyone has contributed with valuable advice. However, I am confused about something you wrote and thought I'd write back with my own humble take.

First, you said your husband mentioned you can't be put on his insurance for another year and it will be expensive. Are you in the US? Because if you are in the US and you have lost your insurance you CAN be put on your husbands insurance at any time. You having lost your insurance is a QUALIFYING EVENT and that allows you to be put on at anytime. I know this because I previously have worked in Human Resources and for Insurance Companies. Second, as to the expense that he would incur; that is his own fault obviously that he now needs to support you and your son in this way.

Second, with the help of counseling I got myself out of an abusive marriage. And it does sound like this would be a good option for you if you choose to go in this direction. Unlike bankruptcy, you would use a Family Law Lawyer in this case. And it would be important to do so, because your husband has a full-time job with benefits. A judge can order your husband to pay you alimony that will help you with your living expenses. And if you have the documentation to prove his actions in your bankruptcy that should strengthen your case even more. However, I am not an attorney myself but I can tell you for sure that the majority of lawyers will give you your first appointment for free with them to consult with you. Just looking into this option can give you more information for FREE either way. I know how hard it is to make that phone call but knowledge is POWER.

Again, I truly feel for you. You will be in my thoughts and prayers. And I hope that you keep posting. This is a community that will truly support you.

Cass

Sc0tt
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2010
Total Posts : 12
   Posted 8/2/2011 2:28 PM (GMT -6)   
Oh wow byheway, I just read your story and ours are a lot alike... I love what the others wrote, I checked out moodgym and its looks like it will be helpful.. I know from experience you have to just keep trying everything, I sooooo get your financial probs and I totally get it not having health insurance, its so frustrating and it seems like there is nowhere to go but hang in there, I should probably follow my own advice here but there are 12-step groups (or similar) that are free and anonymous, they are not just for addiction issues, they have groups for all sorts of things, I guess it would depend on what is available in your community.... just an idea.

givinguponit24
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2011
Total Posts : 138
   Posted 8/4/2011 4:35 PM (GMT -6)   
I don't know what re-financed is and WIC or getting a lawyer has to do with you're situation but I hope that you get through this difficult time. Counseling will help. Stay safe.

-Hugs Jeff
ALLERGIES, ADHD, OCD, BIPOLAR TYPE 1:
Metadate- 60mg, Zoloft- 100mg, Kuvan- 1000mg, Trileptal- 1800mg, Risperdal- 2.5mg, Norvasc-1mg, Lamictal- 300mg, Seroquel- 200mg

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 34267
   Posted 8/5/2011 5:34 PM (GMT -6)   
Thanks for mentioning she mentioned suicide, because I missed it. We aren't suppose to discuss suicide on this forum.

Know that everybody on here cares about this situation and is offering the best advice that they can. Let's not be critical about what somebody says. I have maybe even mentioned a lawyer, I can't remember. But the members are helping in the best way that they can, and if it doesn't seem relevant to you, I am sorry. But the other members are doing the best that they can. Please just ignore the post and focus on offering support to the main poster.

have a great day/night

Hugs, Karen

I do agree she needs imediate help with her thoughts and offer her to look in the depression resources for sites and numbers for help.
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 34267
   Posted 8/6/2011 8:26 AM (GMT -6)   
I don't trust lawyers, car dealers and insurance salesmen. Don't know if I should say that on the forum or not. But I see your point.

They all want money.... That is the bottom line for them. And they are all rich. I hope I didn't offend anybody.

Iv'e noticed Bytheway never posted back, so I guess we are all just talking to eachother. Oh well, it helps. Maybe she is reading.

Thanks for understanding. You do give good advice and that is appreciated, keep posting.

I don't know if I will edit the S word, it hasn't caused any discussion about that.

Have a good day SueTho.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

ByTheWay
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2011
Total Posts : 6
   Posted 8/11/2011 7:22 PM (GMT -6)   
Thanks everyone for posting so far. It took me awhile to get back because I was trying to work some things out. I don't trust lawyers either. I think I should give him an ultimatum or consequence though I know a lot of times that doesn't work. My kids just love him, I worry about them. I was thinking I might tell him I will give him until 8/11/2012 to get into and through financial counseling and make progress and proof that he will not let us down again. I have my doubts due to his history and even now, when we don't even have car or house payments due to the bankruptsy, the bank sent a slip today that he's $260 overdrawn. The year of "ultimatum" maybe gives me time to gather my few available resources..I'm cashing in part of my retirement to get a used car. Maybe when I leave I will quality for low income housing. I don't know what else to do. I'm sorry I brought up "that" word, I didn't know it wasn't allowed here.

sore42long
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2011
Total Posts : 235
   Posted 8/11/2011 11:18 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi,Bytheway I totaly understand most of what your going through!Its sad women get trapped and feel they must stay in a relatoinship because there is no where else to go .1ST understand your going thur a hard time now but your incredablily strong ,seems you put alot more intothe relationship and Ifeel you would be better off on your own.Please put your self and child 1st and tell husband when he gets himself togather and can help you and be responsible maybe then you can get back togather .Iam not sure what services are available ,but probley alot more if your a single mother ,it will be tough for a while to readjust to a new life ,but your strong and can do it!Its never good to spend your life trying so hard just to have someone else[HUSBAND] destroy everything you worked for.You built a good life life once and you can do it again.Ifeel for you has Iwas in a similar situation years ago ,and glad Igot away.I'm sure your life will get better and you can fill it with supportive people who care about you and will not drag you down.Please take care and realize people here on this fourm have good advice

ByTheWay
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2011
Total Posts : 6
   Posted 8/12/2011 7:29 AM (GMT -6)   
The children are mine, he does have a daughter from his first marriage. My son, who's disabled and a teenager, adores his stepfather. That makes it a little tough because I worry about the effects on him and is the main reason behind the "ultimatum". The ultimatum I want to give is a year from now he must have gone to some kind of counseling for his obvious financial stupidity and saved money and shown some effort to put something into this. He must explain to me where the money is going. The consequences being this is his last chance and then I leave.

But it's probably just putting off the inevitable. I think he is a leech. I think it's some level of immaturity. I know this isn't a marriage advice place, but it's just the main reason behind my nervous breakdown/depression so I tend to focus on it I guess. I am SO ANGRY AND DEPRESSED that I have lost everything and he has lost NOTHING. He could just hear the ultimatum and decide it's easier just to leave right now. He has his car and health and insurance and full time job, and now all his credit bills 'paid off' because of the bankruptcy, so what's in it for him to stay?

I decided I do NOT have luck picking men, having gone from an alcoholic to a financial leech, so if it's all over, I am STAYING single. Looking back I saw no signs that my ex was going to turn out to be a drunk or that this one would pick me dry. So either I missed the signs or just got unlucky. Either way, a single life and starting over sounds good to me.

ByTheWay
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2011
Total Posts : 6
   Posted 8/12/2011 7:35 AM (GMT -6)   
Later today after I work I am going to call my son's social worker and ask her to send me some information on housing in the area that would be low-income for single mothers. Also I am going to write my husband an email..the ultimatum. I appreciate all your suggestions and kind words, too.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 34267
   Posted 8/12/2011 8:32 AM (GMT -6)   
On the first page of this forum, there is a section on forum rules and guidelines. I hope you all familiarize yourself with the rules. It would make things a lot easier.

Please do check it out.

ByTheWay, I hope you find a house for you and your son. That would be awesome.

Hugs, Karen
 
PS- this is rule number one:
 
 
1. No discussion of any illegal activity or threats of violence. (ie. illicit drug use or exchange, threats of suicide or self-injury, or threatened or intended physical harm).  Discussions of suicide or self-harm that are deemed negative and therefore potentially injurious to others are also not permitted.

Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Post Edited (getting by) : 8/12/2011 7:35:51 AM (GMT-6)


ByTheWay
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2011
Total Posts : 6
   Posted 8/12/2011 1:30 PM (GMT -6)   
The letter I've written, with names changed.

"John",

This is how I'm feeling and I wanted to write it instead of sit and talk about it because I get so upset and it's hard to talk. Some things are going to have to be done. So I am writing this to tell you as simply as I can what I feel has to be done to make it work. You are always NICE to me but that's not enough anymore and I can no longer afford to overlook these things because you are NICE, because I have lost everything, and you're going to have to show some effort into responsibility for your money and family. I shouldn't have overlooked them for so long. I have to concentrate on trying, somehow, to get my body and mind in a better state, which seems so hard to do when I don't know what will happen tomorrow and have no confidence that I will even have a place to live 6 months from now.

Most of the time I am very angry and/or sad about how my life is turning out. I don't feel like it's a partnership anymore, if it ever was. What I feel is PLUNDERED, that I've lost everything: My health, job, house, insurance, car, credit and future, even my meager retirement money. The house was refinanced twice mostly to soak up a lot of your huge bills. When we refinanced the 2nd time I felt sick to my stomach not wanting to do it, knowing I couldn't afford that huge mortgage, but you knew it and promised to help. I remember that one day later, breaking down crying, while I talked to you and the kids about me needing to pick up extra work on the weekends at my job and how you all would have to help more. That's what gets me the most is that for years you kept promising to help more, while every week overdraft notices arrived in the mail from your account, so I knew you would not. It was all false promises while your debt built back up and the money went to places I have no idea where.

Before this past year when I finally had the nervous breakdown or whatever it is, I always paid the mortgage, my car, house insurance, kids' needs, groceries, utlities, phone, provided health insurance, pretty much everything. I paid off the huge sewer repair, replaced the furniture, paid the biannual house taxes, etc. You paid your truck, Dish, and the car insurances when they rolled around. That was it. You had your salary plus even "Jack's" (my son's) child support was still going into your account. Yet every week, pink slip after pink slip from the bank, not just for a couple weeks but for years. I knew I was responsible for making sure we still had a home and food and that you wouldn't take care of it. I got my own bank account so that at least I would know I could buy food and pay the bills without the money vanishing.

The first refinancing I think you had $26,000 in credit bills, and I think about the same the second time. After the second refinancing and money got so tight, I was even stupidly charging groceries, Christmas, and took that stupid $5000 loan from the bank, still the desperate panicky feeling when I couldn't keep up and still seeing those pink slips come in the mail from your account. Pretty soon my own debt kept going and I was $10,000 in debt. I've never been that much in debt and it was scary and humiliating. But the whole time I was sending half my salary to mortgage and still trying to pay almost everything else, you were going back into deep debt. I don't remember how much at the bankruptcy, since the papers are now lost, but I'm sure it was over $20,000 again.

I don't understand where your money goes, and what you buy with those huge amounts of debt. I can't even imagine having that much debt, to me what I had was horrible enough. The bankruptcy was the most horrible thing that has ever happened to me.

Where does your money go? "I don't know" is not an answer I can live with anymore. For instance right now..we have almost no bills..no mortgage and you haven't had truck payments until the court judgment, yet yesterday a pink slip again and you're $230 in the hole just this week. Is it a secret gambling problem? Internet stuff? Overpaying the ex? Something else? What has been going on all these years? I have the right to know. All you have to pay right now is the phone, utilities and Dish, car insurance every couple months on one car instead of 3. My parents bought our groceries and household expenses for months while I wasn't working and I've been doing it since then. Where does it all go?? Even if it's something bad I think you should tell me. I don't think you understand what it means to me to have my car and house taken away from me.

It's only a matter of time before we get a letter telling us we have to move out of this house I've lived in for 16 years in 30 days. I don't care if it took years to happen for some people, it could happen any day. We have no savings and now my retirement, my last possible source, is gone. With his disabilities, "Jack" will be dependent on me for many years to come, the poor kid.

I'd like to say it would be easy for me to work more, but it's a lie. Between my depression and anxiety and the terrible feet and back pain, I can't even imagine keeping down a full time job again right now. I know everyone gets tired of hearing me complain about my pain, but it's bad. Walking is often like stepping on little knives and my lower back has a deep, horrible ache if I do more than 10 minutes housework or even just dishes at a time. Then I have to rest. Sometimes I have headaches for days at a time. I cry every day and I'm always exhausted. I know it's been working up to this a long time, I've been depressed for years now. I never did pay off that hospital trip for the heart pain and arrhythmias which turned out to be anxiety related, I think that went through the bankruptcy.

My memory might be bad but sometimes I do remember things word-for-word. I remember after we first met and you were telling me about what your ex said as to why the marriage hadn't worked. You said, "She said I didn't take care of her." I didn't understand that at all, but it somehow bothered me. Now, I get it. You don't take care of people and family. You say you care, but you don't show it through actions that are important, like making sure your people feel secure and safe. You are a nice man with a good sense of humor and a great way with the kids. "Jack" absolutely adores you. But whatever sense of responsibility for family that a man needs to have is missing from you. I don't think that, in your mind, your intentions are cruel or to deliberately to hurt someone, but it winds up hurting badly just the same.

So, anyway, my last-ditch idea is to give this one year from today 8/12/2012 and hope for some big changes, that is, if you even want to.

There needs to be an end to the pink slips and some savings. I need to see effort and proof that I can rely on you in the future. I want you to get some counseling with financial counseling too. Every time the bank sends you an overdraft with fees..the hundreds of times it's happened..my stomach drops a little more.

I don't agree that there's no money to save. Even if we guess low and say you're bringing home after taxes $2000 a month:

Truck payment $400/month x 6 months (starting this month?)
Utilities $150-300/month
DISH $? ($75?)
Phone/Internet: $75/month
Car Insurance: $100 a month?

I might be forgetting something but that still leaves over $1000 or half your salary. We will need money to move. I'm spending a majority of mine on groceries and household needs which averages about $400-500 a month. I'm bringing home about $800 a month at least until I get more hours. I am not going to give you any of the retirement money left over, for your truck or anything else, which probably won't be much after buying myself a car. I'm going to hang onto whatever is left in my account. I don't even know if "Jack" still receives child support but I am also having that moved into my account, it's ridiculous that I have allowed you to go through that money every month for years. I just left it there because I thought maybe that extra cushion would help but that was just wrong of me, that's "Jack's" money. It didn't help anyway. If you think any of this is unfair, that I'm dumping all the responsibility on you, think about all the years that I shouldered it all while you spent money on unknown sources and I am now sitting here with these fears.

We would have to have some marriage counseling too, from my perspective I am so angry and I'm not going to apologize for that, because anyone in my shoes would be angry. I want to start personal counseling for me again too once I get some insurance. Someone who works in insurance said I should qualify to get on your insurance plan regardless of time because of having lost my insurance is a "qualifying event" and that should allow me to be put on at anytime. So I would appreciate that being looked into, I know I am not healthy. I fully expect not to live to be old unless I can get feeling better, the human body does not do well with this level of uncontrolled stress.

We have to be able to swing a monthly rent of around $600-800, plus utilities. We'll need a couple thousand dollars for the move--truck rental and the security deposits and crap. With no savings now..what do we do if that letter comes tomorrow? And it legally could! It's foolish to assume it will be years.

If you really don't care, then don't bother with any of that. I can't support you financially, now or ever again. At some point I intend to start working more, but it's for "Jack's" sake, not to support you, and only when I think I can mentally and physically handle it. Right now I'm just treading water because I'm so stressed out over this impending foreclosure and lack of confidence that I can ever rely on you and I am working more on myself and dealing with these day-to-day stresses. Even if you decided to walk, you'd still be ahead, and now debt-free, and I'm totally at the mercy of the world and responsible for "Jack". All my resources are gone now, but I would be able to find a way. So I guess this is just the point where you need to decide how much you do care and want it. I will leave that decision to you. If you do care, then prove me wrong. It's definitely going to be hard for me to "get over" all these losses, my faith and desire is pretty low. I want a real marriage and partnership if I'm going to have one at all, and not just me supporting you and to wherever/whomever all the money goes. If that is still the case I'd be better off being a single mother on government assistance. I can't even make any promises right now due to my lack of confidence but feel at least an effort should be made with this letter. If you have a response you can write it back to me. If you will really try and prove it, I promise to try too.

"Mary"

So I will see what happens with that, you're right that I have already thought in my mind he won't change. I do realize that. I think it's worth a shot for my son's sake to give it a last-ditch effort. He loves his stepfather so much. We'll see. Thanks for the help, I'll keep reading the forums.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 34267
   Posted 8/12/2011 2:16 PM (GMT -6)   
Mary,

It sounds like your letter was very well thought out and it sounds very fair. I am so sorry that you are going though this and just wanted to pop in for support. You wrote this letter quite well and it sounds like you have covered all the bases.

I hope in return he tells you where he has been spending his money and that he puts a stop to it. Like I say, I am sorry that you are going through all this. I want to see that you get what is best for you and your son.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Leebme
New Member


Date Joined Aug 2011
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 8/13/2011 5:38 PM (GMT -6)   
Sounds like your husband takes but does not give. Have you actually called his work to verify what he is telling you is the truth about the insurance? Given he has lied/hid his spending I wouldn't doubt if he lied about this too - among other things. Why do you stay w/him? You said yourself you are the one doing all the work, worrying and yet, losing everything. Evidently he has a pattern of this and his first wife was also a victim of his selfish and irresponsible ways. I am not trying to be mean - I am trying to save you from yourself but mainly him and a future full of more pain, misery and loss. I have been exactly where you are and would've given ANYTHING for someone to "tell me straight" - I al stil trying to recover from the stuipdity of staying w/someone who care more about themselves and their own pleasure than me, their family, their creditors. Do yourself a favor - cut your losses and get out. You will be depressed, yes, but relieved and able to get your life back on track w/some hard lessons learned. I feel for you and hope you will do the only thing you can which is help yourself!

CassandraLee
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 771
   Posted 8/13/2011 9:12 PM (GMT -6)   
BytheWay: I literally "felt" every emotion that you described in your letter. I think it is really an effective letter because you have backed it up with numerous facts and examples. You are extremely clear about your expectations (with the exception of not including some type of time line - which another member suggested you do...I agree!).

I know this was a necessary letter to write. You need to convey this information and you also need to start releasing all the feelings you are holding in. This is also building up your anxiety and depression.

A you know I am the one who told you about the Qualifying event and how you should be perfectly able to be enrolled in his insurance. I like another members comment about can you really trust him? I'm going to go a step further. Without him realizing it can you take a look at his insurance card? There must be some phone number for Member Information. If you can't verify information yourself with his employer, I am sure that the insurer could provide some information too.

I'm not sure what you are going to get as a response from him, but my thoughts will be with you. I give you a lot of credit too right now. You are truly trying to gain control wherever and however you can in this situation. And you are putting you and your son first. Please don't give in on this. You are exactly right.

(((((HUGS)))))))))

Cass
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