PLEASE read...no more suicide threats

How many are against the topic of suicide on this board
6
It sould not be allowed on any board - 30.0%
0
It's no big deal to me - 0.0%
12
I think it's OK to talk about - 60.0%
0
How many of you have been a party of suicide - 0.0%
2
If it was acceptable, it would be a subject on the boards - 10.0%

 
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Having2LeftFeet
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2005
Total Posts : 472
   Posted 4/1/2005 8:19 AM (GMT -7)   
nono   confused I'm sorry but I have to write this. This board is for depression, I realize that, however, getting into the subject of suicide is absolutely outrageous and a big nono .
 
If I am the only one to talk about this  and just one person reads it, I have accomplished something. I know some other boards have "suicide" groups, but they are not helping anyone. That's why I left one group. There are enough topics to post here and the idea of someone killing themselves makes me nervous. I think that a lot of people preceive it as a sign of depression and I'm sure it is, but if you can post a message to the moderators instead of the entire group, it would be better than they can determine whether it is suitable or not. We are all trying to survive a very real illness in being depressed and reading about someone wanting to commit there own demise really makes things worse. My brother-in-law put a bullet in his head and that was enough for me. I don't know about the other members, but I am here for support and help. The subject of suicide and why it's taboo  despite the fact that it was an upsetting thread was locked and should stay that way and I praise the moderators and helpers for that. There is no difference between suicide and murder so PLEASE do not talk about this anymore. Moderators, I hope you will back me up. Everyone else, hope I didn't overstep. If something is bothering me, I will say it rather than for it to fester. The Lord doesn't condone taking a life nor do I
 
Hugs
"Lefty"
 
 
 

Post Edited By Moderator (Admin) : 4/1/2005 10:24:02 AM (GMT-7)


CheerDad
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2004
Total Posts : 2284
   Posted 4/1/2005 9:44 AM (GMT -7)   
Lefty,

This is a difficult topic and a fine line to walk. The guidelines clearly state that threats of suicide are not acceptable but are unclear concerning discussing it. I have lost a few friends to this in the past year and am still working through the emotions connected to their deaths. I am very uncomfortable with the posts on this topic and will ask the Administrator for clarification. I personally feel that by the time someone responds to a post concerning suicide on the board it may be too late to help and therefore should be handled carefully in this forum..


 

We can respond to irritation with a smile instead of scowl, or by giving warm praise instead of icy indifference. By our being understanding instead of abrupt, others, in turn, may decide to hold on a little longer rather than to give way. Love, patience, and meekness can be just as contagious as rudeness and crudeness.

 
Randy

Post Edited (CheerDad) : 4/1/2005 10:53:56 AM (GMT-7)


Admin
Forum Administrator


Date Joined Jan 2003
Total Posts : 9658
   Posted 4/1/2005 10:13 AM (GMT -7)   
I agree with Randy, threats of suicide are not acceptable in the forum. I've spoken with some professionals that say that discussion of suicide, at least how to avoid it and it's selfish ramifications, is healthy and I think I agree with that. Discussions that are dark or are potentially injurious, in that they bring about negative thoughts regarding suicide, are not healthy and not permitted. So it is really about how the discussion is framed.

But again you are right to say that this is not the focus of the forum and will not and should not take over as the main topic of discussion. I hope this helps clarify the rules/guidelines. I will look into clarifying this in the formal rules.


Peter Waite, Founder/Editor
HealingWell.com - Community, Information, Resources
 

Post Edited (Admin) : 4/1/2005 10:22:52 AM (GMT-7)


Admin
Forum Administrator


Date Joined Jan 2003
Total Posts : 9658
   Posted 4/1/2005 10:22 AM (GMT -7)   
Here is the revised rule:
 
1. No discussion of any illegal activity or threats of violence. (ie. illicit drug use, threats of suicide or self-injury, or threatened or intended physical harm).  Regarding suicide and self-harm, discussions that are negative and therefore potentially injurious to others are also not permitted.

 


Peter Waite, Founder/Editor
HealingWell.com - Community, Information, Resources
 

Post Edited (Admin) : 4/1/2005 10:25:45 AM (GMT-7)


hotstuff
New Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 4/1/2005 6:04 PM (GMT -7)   
I do agree that nobody should EVER make the threat of suicide on this site. It is not why we're all here and it won't help anyone...HOWEVER...everyone has different ways of dealing with their problems and it does help some people to talk about their feelings, such as whoever started that post on why suicide is so taboo. I am very highly educated in phychology and the social sciences and have taken many classes in everything from death and dying in society to counseling and group therapy and I, for one, thought it was just an interesting conversation. That person never said anything to the effect of a suicide threat....it was merely a discussion. We are all adults here. I don't think we should be censored because of someone's religious beliefs. Censoring us might keep someone from getting an answer to their question, or maybe they just need to vent to someone and this is their only option. You always have the choice to NOT READ a post if you don't like the topic.

Having2LeftFeet
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2005
Total Posts : 472
   Posted 4/2/2005 7:38 AM (GMT -7)   
smurf  In response to your comments on this matter, first thanks for your input.
 
Suicide is a very "serious but delicate" issus, one that need to be spoken between a patient and coundelor or psych and not a support group. I know I am not a professional in this field so I shy away from it, however, several members have "toyed" with this idea and I truly believe it needs to be a personal matter and not the subject of a public support group. I'm sure the members don't know how to react to this subject. It is frustrating and sensative. We can listen to members who are depressed and give them comfort and kindness but suicide is a VERY serious subject. I do appreciate all the responses and the comments. That's why I posed this questions.
 
"Lefty" 
There is no such word as can't. Can't simply means wouln't. Grab as much as life as you can. Future is a long way away for those who don't believe. Don't build a foundation of life on sand. It will take it away with the tide. Love a little more, be unkind a lot less.


LizaB
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2005
Total Posts : 50
   Posted 4/2/2005 7:52 AM (GMT -7)   
From experience, I would rather them talk about this subject, once a person stops talking then there is a serious problem, usually death.
Hug Your Children Everyday, and Tell Them That You Love Them
In Memory of My Son:
Michael Joesph Palazzolo
April 19, 1985 - Feburary 24, 2005
 


AlwaysRosie
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 8616
   Posted 4/3/2005 9:39 PM (GMT -7)   
I too have lost loved ones due to suicide.

I came to HW one nite and ended up chatting with a would-be suicide victim. Because this person was honest and open and this person received love and support . . . they have reported (many weeks later) that being at HW that nite saved their life. This person was from a different disease community . . but still the fact that they could talk about it really helped. I hope that it is not forbidden as a person so fragile may be unable to reach out by phone or any other 'in person' connection.

If someone does not wish to participate in that type of conversation there is a thumbs down button above and to the right of each post and you can make any other member dissapear from any topics you are viewing.

I also believe that suicide is taking a life . . . but I want to be a life-saver and be available for someone so desparate.

Thanks for allowing my opinion.

Blessings!
In His Grip,
AlwaysRosie
Psalms: 139

UCTD, Hashimoto's, SAD, Diverticulosis, Glucose Intolerance


Having2LeftFeet
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2005
Total Posts : 472
   Posted 4/4/2005 8:54 AM (GMT -7)   
smurf  Rosie,
I understand exactly what you are saying, however,  did this person deal with you and you alone or presented this in chat with the other members? If it's a one on one situation, than no one has the right to stop them, however, when they put a post on the board, any board, they are violating the rules and opening some wounds for other members. Suicide is a very serious matter and because it is, yes, you helped and I commend you for that. You are always a helper as you have helped me too. I do believe that the person talking about suicide needs to seek professional help but words from you may comfort them and deter the "S" issue. So, what I am saying is I agree with you in an one on one level, but not on the boards or in the chat area with all the other members. Thanks a lot for your help!
 
"Lefty" :-)
There is no such word as can't. Can't simply means wouln't. Grab as much as life as you can. Future is a long way away for those who don't believe. Don't build a foundation of life on sand. It will take it away with the tide. Love a little more, be unkind a lot less.


Admin
Forum Administrator


Date Joined Jan 2003
Total Posts : 9658
   Posted 4/4/2005 9:16 AM (GMT -7)   
The rules do not ban discussion of suicide, only if it is deemed overly negative and therefore potentially harmful to others.... that is too subjective for some, but it does give room for healthy discussions of the subject.
Peter Waite, Founder/Editor
HealingWell.com - Community, Information, Resources
 


condoleezaiscool
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2005
Total Posts : 50
   Posted 4/4/2005 9:51 AM (GMT -7)   
My bad, and I understand why you guys don't want to talk aobut it (you want to bring people up, not help them pull themselves down). I guess the anonymity of the internet brings out conversations that we wouldn't otherwise have or are too afraid to talk to our therapist about.

CathyP
New Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 7
   Posted 4/5/2005 7:42 AM (GMT -7)   

Personally, I don't think talking about suicide is a big nono .  I am a member of a 12-step group and at one point was afraid to mention that I had suicidal thoughts, but I did anyway.  Since that time, I have heard others talk about how they have had times in their life when they were suicidal or had thoughts of killing themselves.  Just yesterday I was talking to someone who said that most of his life he has wished he was dead.  Boy, could I relate!  What a relief to know that I was not the only that felt that way. 

Also, in February, I was extremely depressed, to the point of not trusting myself to go home and be there alone for fear of harming myself.  I shared that day in my home group that I was having a very rough time.  After the meeting, one gentleman came up to me and said, you need to tell your therapist just what you told us here today.  My therapist appt was an hour after the meeting ended.  And I did what he suggested.  And I ended up hospitalized and got the help I needed.  Had he not said that to me, I probably would not have told her how bad things were, although I had been trying for a while.  It is a hard thing to talk about, even with your therapist.  But by sharing with the group, and my this other person going out of his way to talk to me, I received the help I needed and am here to talk about it today. 

If my being open and honest in a chat room helps someone to have the courage to talk to their therapist and get much needed help, then I am all for talking about it.  I don't feel it should be a secret.  Our secrets kill us.  I didn't want to die, I just wanted help.  Pretending I'm okay and not talking about it is what gets me into those dark places. 

As one of my friends says, 'a problem shared is a problem cut in half'. 

Having said all that, I would also like to say that I don't think sharing graphic details about harming oneself is appropriate for this forum.  I am here to get lifted up, not freaked out. 

Thanks for letting me share.

 

 


I believe in dragons, good men, and other fantasy creatures.

Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious. 

James Kemsley


AlwaysRosie
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 8616
   Posted 4/5/2005 8:33 AM (GMT -7)   
Cathy, that was very well said. Thank you for sharing in a difficult topic.

Lefty, I agree there is a very fine line between appropriate and unappropriate . . . we work hard to hold that line.

Blessings!
In His Grip,
AlwaysRosie
Psalms: 139

UCTD (Undifferentiated Connective Tissue Disease), Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, Depression, GI Probs, High BP, Glucose Intolerance


Having2LeftFeet
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2005
Total Posts : 472
   Posted 4/5/2005 9:15 AM (GMT -7)   
smurf  I do believe that there is a very thin line between the "rights and wrongs" of talking about "S". There were days where I didn't want to go on either, but I thought about my kids and my Mom and my husband and how upset they would be to think that I didn't love them enough to stick around and fight the demons.Ot the feeling that they couldn't have helped me or even know that I had these intentions. I thought of the guilt they would have felt in not recognizing that I was troubled and how awful it would be for them to see people we knew and what an awkward position they would be put in. Perhaps it's the thought in my head of finding my B-I-L with a gun shot to his head and the mess that surrounded him. My dad and I found him like that after my sister left him. He wanted to kill her too and then do himself in. He was a terrible very evil person. Maybe that's why I feel the way I do about it. I'm sorry if this subject offends anyone but bad news is plentiful, good news in not!
 
God bless
"Lefty" confused
There is no such word as can't. Can't simply means wouln't. Grab as much as life as you can. Future is a long way away for those who don't believe. Don't build a foundation of life on sand. It will take it away with the tide. Love a little more, be unkind a lot less.


AlwaysRosie
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 8616
   Posted 4/9/2005 9:31 AM (GMT -7)   
Oh SC . . .so glad you shared that with us.

I'm glad you were "there" for her.

If you do get into a chat room and are having a good conversation with one of the chatters, you can invite them to one of the other empty rooms. That way you can have a meaningful chat and not feel like your just sitting there. But it sounds like it was good that you were there for her. Way to go SC!!!

I was going to log into chat last night and saw two people in the room and thought I might be interupting a private conversation . . . so I logged out.

Blessings!
In His Grip,
AlwaysRosie
Psalms: 139

UCTD (Undifferentiated Connective Tissue Disease),
Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, Depression, GI Probs, High BP, Glucose Intolerance
 
I have no medical training. 
The message above is my sincere attempt to share with you.  You are now my friend.  Thanks for being here.


AlwaysRosie
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 8616
   Posted 4/9/2005 11:29 AM (GMT -7)   
*big smile*
In His Grip,
AlwaysRosie
Psalms: 139

UCTD (Undifferentiated Connective Tissue Disease),
Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, Depression, GI Probs, High BP, Glucose Intolerance
 
I have no medical training. 
The message above is my sincere attempt to share with you.  You are now my friend.  Thanks for being here.


dobson
New Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 18
   Posted 4/12/2005 12:21 PM (GMT -7)   
Continue to keep this a taboo subject. Maybe you will be able to shame people out of their suicidal feelings. Either that or you'll just drive them away. Either way, it'll be somebody else's problem.

AlwaysRosie
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 8616
   Posted 4/12/2005 12:35 PM (GMT -7)   
To Everyone: For and Against this topic:

I have included a web-address for a Suicide Hotline in the 2nd topic on the this forum entitled "Depression Resources" . . . just scroll down to the second post.

If you are reading this message and you feel extremely overwhelmed . . . .please click on that link and get some anonymous, trained, help. We DO care about you, but we are not trained to guide you.

Blessings!
In His Grip,
AlwaysRosie
Psalms: 139

UCTD (Undifferentiated Connective Tissue Disease),
Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, Depression, GI Probs, High BP, Glucose Intolerance
 
I have no medical training, I'm just a voluntee/friend trying to help. 
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