What to do when a daughter will not talk to you

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Having2LeftFeet
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2005
Total Posts : 472
   Posted 4/10/2005 9:12 AM (GMT -7)   
sad I am very sad that my youngest daughter still will not talk to me. She is 32 yrs old and I feel like I want to slap her sometimes but she is SO stubborn and strong willed. This situation is so stupid but she "stuck" her nose where it didn't belong. That's why my "DH" always says, "Mind ya business". He's funny sometimes. He say's I have enough of my own problems to be in someone's elses. HA!!!!
 
This rift started when my oldest daughter, 34, and I had a falling out about a month ago. I told her I was upset that she didn't call me and when I called her, she was either not home or she would fuss at my granddaughter and grandson the entire time I was talking to her. I would get a headache just listening to that and then I would also get upset that she had to scold them. She disciplines them but not enough. Megan, 5 1/2 is smarter than some adults, too smart. She also talks back too. I get her on the phone when I hear her doing that. I would leave her messages and she didn't return my calls. Since we live 10 States apart, I would expect her to call me. I wrote her an E mail and told her I was upset that she doesn't call and that she doesn't keep up sending me pics of my grandchildren. I fear they will grow up not knowing me, or at least the 3 little ones, ages 3 1/2, 2 and 1. My grandson is 8 and Megan. 3 boys and 2 girls in all. I visit once a yr for about 3 or so weeks depending if I am well enough and I spend a lot of time with my mom as she is getting older at age 84. I also visit with my girls and their families. Well, my youngest daughter stuck her nose where it didn't belong. My eldest daughter called her and told her I was upset with her about not calling or whatever. Up until this time, I was pretty close with my youngest daughter. (even I am getting confused). So, she called me and left me a message on my machine yelling at me not to hurt her sister's feelings and not to call her either unless I can be civil. It was not a rift between me and my oldest daughter. It was a discussion. BTW, she was the one that told me my S-I-L lost his job before Christmas so I didn't even know he was out of work and that's when I really lost it. She was rude and nasty. Now I didn't raise my daughters to be disrespectful...ever. In fact, if it was 27 or so yrs ago, her dad would have beat her butt with a switch from the tree that she got it off of. He was BIG on discipline and I would have to walk far from the house when he did discipline them, not that he beat them but he gave em' a few good licks. Anyway, this cuts ties with my grandchildren and I am upset. This is the kicker. Her sister and I are talking and back to the way it used to be. Colse like sisters. We were always close. She is working through her issues and me through mine. She is a Christain and depends on her faith to keep her life on even keel. We talk a lot about the Lord and what he can do for us. She is taking the kids and her husband goes to church twice a week and that makes me happy.
 
So what's the moral to this story? It is a   nono to stick your nose where it doesn't belong. If you do, you can be the one on the outside looking in!
 
"Lefty" smurf


There is no such word as can't. Can't simply means wouln't. Grab as much as life as you can. Future is a long way away for those who don't believe. Don't build a foundation of life on sand. It will take it away with the tide. Love a little more, be unkind a lot less.

Post Edited (Having2LeftFeet) : 4/11/2005 7:15:53 AM (GMT-6)


AlwaysRosie
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 8616
   Posted 4/10/2005 10:31 AM (GMT -7)   
Hmmmm Lefty . . . so sorry for the big misunderstanding!!! Phewwwww! Things sure can explode sometimes.

About the grands . . . I live within 3 miles of mine . . . even so, I sometimes send them a small package in the mail or a note . . . they LOVE getting mail. One gift I've given is the monthly kids activity magazine, or a series of skate lessons. They'll really appreciate stuff like that and it doesn't spoil them.

When I talk to my daughter, the background noise from the kids IS very distracting too. . . but my job is to offer encouragement. When she wants my advice, she asks for it. I find it very difficult to draw that line. I do remember how overwhelming being a mom of youngsters could be at times.

I hope things mend for you and your daughters Lefty . . . that is a very difficult thing to be so far away from your kids and the grands.

Blessings!
In His Grip,
AlwaysRosie
Psalms: 139

UCTD (Undifferentiated Connective Tissue Disease),
Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, Depression, GI Probs, High BP, Glucose Intolerance
 
I have no medical training. 
The message above is my sincere attempt to share with you.  You are now my friend.  Thanks for being here.


Having2LeftFeet
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2005
Total Posts : 472
   Posted 4/11/2005 6:19 AM (GMT -7)   
smurf  Rosie,
As ever, you make me feel like I am not alone with this situation. Sending books and magazines is an awesome idea. I am going to look into that today on the internet. I still say the same thing. My husband was right when he said, "Mind ya own business". I hate it what that happens. Hugs across the miles!
 
"Lefty" yeah
There is no such word as can't. Can't simply means wouln't. Grab as much as life as you can. Future is a long way away for those who don't believe. Don't build a foundation of life on sand. It will take it away with the tide. Love a little more, be unkind a lot less.


AlwaysRosie
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 8616
   Posted 4/11/2005 12:00 PM (GMT -7)   
Lefty . . . sounds like a plan!!! The activity magazine will be a monthly reminder to your grands how much you love them.

Also, the post office has a flat rate priority mailer. I take one home and save flat items that will mail easily. They used to be $3.00 to mail . . . but the trick is that you can put as much in there as it will hold and it is still the same rate to mail it. The dollar store has sticker sheets, cling ons for the windows, play money, those flat balsa wood or styrofoam airplanes, story books, etc. The kids also enjoy seed packets. I buy green beans and peas . . . stuff that grows fast.

Have fun!!!! Don't wait for a big thank you or excitement . . . it happens when they open it and it is more of a warm fuzzy for the kids. When they are older they will remember back on it and it will make them smile again. You can also send them a self-addressed, stamped envelope and tell them you'd like some of their star papers from school and a drawing.

Blessings!
In His Grip,
AlwaysRosie
Psalms: 139

UCTD (Undifferentiated Connective Tissue Disease),
Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, Depression, GI Probs, High BP, Glucose Intolerance
 
I have no medical training. 
The message above is my sincere attempt to share with you.  You are now my friend.  Thanks for being here.

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