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Ell
New Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 9
   Posted 4/25/2005 8:41 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi everyone. Well im new here and i just wanted to introduce myself. I found this site while searching the net. I came here to see if anyone else has had weight problems from meds (and found the topic). I was diagnosed with clinical depression a few years ago and since then ive been in various mental facilaties and put on countless drugs..sometimes i feel like a guniea pig. I guess i came here also for some support, i only just turned 18 and i really want to get my life back on track. Im a lot better than i was 6 months ago but its so hard to keep going sometimes. Ive had a lot of trouble with self harming and major suicidal thoughts and actions. Last year i was feeling so bad that i stopped eating completely and had to be fed through a naso-gastric (NG) tube and since then ive had major issues with my weight. To be totally honest the thing that kind of snapped me out of wanting to die was ending up in an adult mental hospital while i was still 17, as here in Australia the youth mental health wards are very limited. I was so terrified there i didnt leave my bed the whole time i was there, the place was dirty and had the worst smell (i still have nightmares about it). So i think thats kind of what forced me to get out of it, realising im not a child anymore and if i relapse ill end up back there.
 
Im now on Mirtazpine and seroquel (in pretty high dosages) and just wanted to know if anyone else has experienced major weight gain? From the illness im not as active as i was but really the weight i have put on in only the few months that ive started eating again must not be right. I know that it increases your appetite and slows the metabolism but surely it cant have this much of an effect? Im on the verge of stop taking my meds, i know ill relapse if i do but right now i dont care.
 
Thanks for the help in advance.


 

Post Edited (Ell) : 4/25/2005 11:52:57 PM (GMT-6)


AlwaysRosie
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 8616
   Posted 4/25/2005 9:32 AM (GMT -7)   
Welcome Ell!!

Sounds like you have had a really tough time. (((((((((Ell))))))))))))) I'm sorry things have been sooooo difficult. You are much too young to be dealing with such problems. Are you still in counseling?? I think that would be important with all the issues you've got going on. Finding the right meds can be frustrating. I imagine that if you have been in and out of treatment facilities, that they have taken the time to properly diagnose you. . . but it can still be a real hit and miss trying to get the meds combined right for good relief and minimal side affects.

If you were starving yourself, that would have lowered your metabolism as well. You are right about exercise and routine (I read your post from another topic). Those two things are VERY helpful in getting you back to normal. Do you walk? When I was working in a 3 story building, I used to take a break a couple times a day and climb up and down the stairs a couple times. It really is helpful. I also love hiking, backpacking, and walking. I've been recovering from chronic connective tissue problems and can't wait to get back out into the woods (I guess you call it the bush). Healthy foods are a big plus too. I hope you are taking good care of youself while you are trying to work your way through this maze.

Welcome and please post often!

Blessings!
In His Grip,
AlwaysRosie
Psalms 139
UCTD (Undifferentiated Connective Tissue Disease), Hashimoto's, High BP, GI Inflamation, Diverticuloses
Plaquenil, RX Motrin, Lexapro, Amitriptylene, Salagen, Lotrel
 
Please help HealingWell help others. Donate today: http://www.healingwell.com/donate/


Ell
New Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 9
   Posted 4/25/2005 10:56 PM (GMT -7)   
Yeah im still seeing various doctors. It has helped me a lot. Ive started walking again so hopfully ill stay with it.

Thanks for the help.
 


AlwaysRosie
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 8616
   Posted 4/26/2005 7:16 AM (GMT -7)   
Ell, a big thumbs up to you for keep with the docs!! Glad you are making some progress . . . AND the walking is excellant!! Go for it . . . it is a great way for us to help ourselves. It gives us more of the 'feel good' hormones like seratonin and if you are on meds, it helps the heds do their job better too. *Rosie pats Ell on the back and Ell takes a small bow*

Blessings!
In His Grip,
AlwaysRosie
Psalms 139
UCTD (Undifferentiated Connective Tissue Disease), Hashimoto's, High BP, GI Inflamation, Diverticuloses
Plaquenil, RX Motrin, Lexapro, Amitriptylene, Salagen, Lotrel
 
Please help HealingWell help others. Donate today: http://www.healingwell.com/donate/


Ell
New Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 9
   Posted 4/26/2005 7:33 AM (GMT -7)   
*bows*

Thankyou. But i really dont think its going to make much difference...the damage is done.
 


AlwaysRosie
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 8616
   Posted 4/26/2005 7:35 AM (GMT -7)   
What damage is done?
In His Grip,
AlwaysRosie
Psalms 139
UCTD (Undifferentiated Connective Tissue Disease), Hashimoto's, High BP, GI Inflamation, Diverticuloses
Plaquenil, RX Motrin, Lexapro, Amitriptylene, Salagen, Lotrel
 
Please help HealingWell help others. Donate today: http://www.healingwell.com/donate/


AlwaysRosie
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 8616
   Posted 4/26/2005 7:35 AM (GMT -7)   
What damage is done?
In His Grip,
AlwaysRosie
Psalms 139
UCTD (Undifferentiated Connective Tissue Disease), Hashimoto's, High BP, GI Inflamation, Diverticuloses
Plaquenil, RX Motrin, Lexapro, Amitriptylene, Salagen, Lotrel
 
Please help HealingWell help others. Donate today: http://www.healingwell.com/donate/


Ell
New Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 9
   Posted 4/26/2005 7:54 AM (GMT -7)   
Ill never be able to go back to the happy me.
Ill never be able to go back to being comfortable with myself.


 


AlwaysRosie
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 8616
   Posted 4/26/2005 8:19 AM (GMT -7)   
*Rosie puts her arm around Ell and walks with her on a beautiful path in the woods*

Ell, I know you feel like that NOW . . . but I promise, it will not always be like that. You will reach down inside yourself and find beauty in a whole new way. A caterpiller has NO idea how beautiful it will become. Same with you. You are harder on yourself than anyone else could ever be. Please find one good thing about Ell and share it with us.

I care about you sister!

Blessings!
In His Grip,
AlwaysRosie
Psalms 139
UCTD (Undifferentiated Connective Tissue Disease), Hashimoto's, High BP, GI Inflamation, Diverticuloses
Plaquenil, RX Motrin, Lexapro, Amitriptylene, Salagen, Lotrel
 
Please help HealingWell help others. Donate today: http://www.healingwell.com/donate/


Having2LeftFeet
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2005
Total Posts : 472
   Posted 4/26/2005 9:05 AM (GMT -7)   
yeah  "E"
You are very welcome here. When I first came to this site, I was afraid of rejection with all the issues I was dealing with but if it weren't for the members on this board, I would be in a rubber room. They are so comforting and understanding. The entire site is like that.
 
These are my experiences with anti-depressants. Yes, I am on prozac, xanax, elevil. I was on Celexa but got off it. Wasn't helping. I have gained weight but after the advice of some of the girls on the Lupus site, whech we have Lupus, I was made to understand that if I didn't eat and eat the right foods, I wouldn't lose weight because there was no "fuel" to burn without any complex carbos. I was also given the advice for the right foods to eat and since last week, I lost 6 lbs and I am dancing, so to speak. That's just them. That's the way we all are.
 
On the subject of depression, no one knows why we have it and really what causes it, but we know that it is the real deal unfortunately. We have to depend on the Physicians and counselors to help us and find the right medications for us. Because you are so young, I can imagine that it is so hard for you. It took me a long time to accept that Lupus was making my life miserable and attacking the organs in my body preventing me from doing the things I used to love to do. That's where the depression got worse for me. Soon after, I was not able to work and my entire life changed because I allowed it to. I forgot about my family and what was consuming their lives. I was self-centered and selfish and was having a "pity party" every day. I had the poor me syndrome. Eventually, I pushed all my family away, including my husband and my grown daughters, now 32 and 34. I have 5 grandchildren and live 9 states apart from them all. My husband got a very good job offer and we decided that it was time to move on with our lives. It was for the best. I visit once a year for 3 weeks but it is still hard. I am missing my grandchildren grow up and my mom is 84 and we don't know how long she will be with us. I pray for her safety every day. I pray a lot.
 
"E", once I was able to forgive myself, I was able to forgive others for not having compassion or understanding concerning my depression and my illness. I looked to the Lord for answers and He pulled through for me. I read my bible daily and pray without ceasing. Sometimes I think He gets tired of me calling His name, but He doesn't. Thank God for Jesus. Anyway, please do not feel like you are alone. You are among good company. Just because we have depression, doesn't mean that we aren't normal people. We don't have "two heads" or foam at the mouth. We are people like all others. The only difference is that we FACE OUR DEPRESSION and others either ignore theirs or don't feel they have any at all. No one has the perfect life, believe me. You are not a strange girl or a weird girl. You are a normal 18 yr old with real problems. As for the self mutilazation, I will pray for that to leave you. As for the "S" word, (we don't like to talk about it much even though it is a part of depression) we would rather encourage you to the positive side of recovery. I know it is a fact of life, but the one thing you need to remember is this. No matter what is making you depressed or no matter who supports you or who doesn't, you are still a very important person. The thing you have to do is to love yourself first. Forgive yourself first. Look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself that you are special and you are loved. You can move in a more positive light once you overcome the feeling of being a failure. You are not a failure. You are just lost and will find your way back in time. Forget the nursing homes. They will make you even more depressed. You can get the love and attention you need right here. Post more. Read more.
(((((((((((((((((((((((E)))))))))))))))))))))))))
 
"Lefty" :-)
There is no such word as can't. Can't simply means wouln't. Grab as much as life as you can. Future is a long way away for those who don't believe. Don't build a foundation of life on sand. It will take it away with the tide. Love a little more, be unkind a lot less.


Cloudy30
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 72
   Posted 4/29/2005 7:38 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Ell,
 
Welcome to this site.  The support here is great.  I have experienced that feeling of being stuck with life and feeling like there is nothing to look forward to.  It's hard because there is a part of me that wonders how did this happen to me?  Depression can hit you like a truck.  On those days, I have to take it one step at a time and not have high expectations that I will be at 100 percent.  Counseling has been a lifesaver for me because part of my depression stems from stuffing my emotions rather than expressing them.  Having someone who is supportive and encouraging has been key to my progress. 
 
Let us know how you are doing.
 
Oh by the way its been three years and we are still working with the meds.  I have gained weight but I used to be super active and since the severe depression I haven't been consistent with any excercise.  My metabolism is way screwed up because I have no appetite at all. I wish everything could change and improve all at once but thats not how reality works. 

AlwaysRosie
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 8616
   Posted 4/29/2005 8:27 PM (GMT -7)   
Ell,

Its been a couple days since you posted. How are things going by now?? Give us an update if you get a chance.

Blessings!
In His Grip,
AlwaysRosie
Psalms 139
UCTD (Undifferentiated Connective Tissue Disease), Hashimoto's, High BP, GI Inflamation, Diverticuloses
Plaquenil, RX Motrin, Lexapro, Amitriptylene, Salagen, Lotrel
 
Please help HealingWell help others. Donate today: http://www.healingwell.com/donate/

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