My depression is ruining my relationship...

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Nvayda1296
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Date Joined Jul 2012
Total Posts : 15
   Posted 7/2/2012 3:57 AM (GMT -6)   
hello im new to the site and forum... I joined because I need help. I have been in a loving relationship with an amazing one of a kind girl, and we've been happy except for one problem...
My depression.
I have been diagnosed with depression since I was 10. traumatic instances in my life (which I wont say for now what... maybe one day) have caused me to steel my heart and never trust anyone... and now its ruining my relationship. I can't bring myself to believe my girl won't cheat or leave me for someone better... even though I know she would never cheat and she tells me she wont and will never leave me. I don't know what to do and I've never felt lower then this... I can't lose her, I need her in my life. these thoughts keep leading to suicidal thoughts but she helps bring me bacc to earth... I need help im begging anyone to help me... I've always felt like im a waste of space and air, like ill never be anything no matter how hard I try... its everyday I feel like this and cry... I hate my self and wanna give up but she keeps me going, she supports me and says she knows that I can do anything I put my mind to... im begging whoevers out there to help me before its too late....

getting by
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Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 34137
   Posted 7/2/2012 7:28 AM (GMT -6)   
Coming here and posting will help you. Keep sharing...

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Nvayda1296
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2012
Total Posts : 15
   Posted 7/2/2012 9:13 AM (GMT -6)   
what else should I share?

getting by
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Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 34137
   Posted 7/2/2012 9:35 AM (GMT -6)   
Whatever you would like hon. Are you seeing a psychiatrist or psychologist for your depression? Can you think of things you can do to make the relationship smoother? Have you talked to your significant other about what you are going through? Do you two talk well together? Communication is so important? It sounds like she is trying to support you but maybe she doesn' know how.

Keep posting and get this off of your chest. We are here to help you...

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Nvayda1296
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2012
Total Posts : 15
   Posted 7/2/2012 10:05 AM (GMT -6)   
thank you for taking time for me... Ive never been for my depression because I can't afford it, and as for making my relationship smoother... we've talked about what's been changing so much and we realized we went too far too fast. we're working on it but my depression keeps pushing me to ask if she's cheating because I feel like im not worth sticcing around for. I have no idea how to fix this and im hurting her in the process... which pushes my depression even more. I've told her everything that I've gone through and she knows everything. we talk very well and we never run out of things to say... when im with her we have fun and laugh and when we're on the phone we never run out of things to say... I don't sleep much because of my insomnia so she stays up wit me just to keep me company...

getting by
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Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 34137
   Posted 7/2/2012 12:51 PM (GMT -6)   
It sounds like you have a good relationship. Keep telling yourself it is only the depression talking. I don't think she is cheating on you. If she is there at night to talk to you, you know she is home alone with the kids. I think it is sweet that she stays up with you.

Know that this is only temporary. It is an means to an end. Keep in mind that it isn't easy for your wife either. I have a friend in this situation. But her husband is coming home soon. He is on his way. Try to focus on your work. Try not to worry about home right now. Just focus. Your mind wont be able to wander. And never accuse her of doing anything unless you know for sure. You need to have trust and faith that everything is going to end up okay. We here don't have work, so many guys are gone away working in mancamps. I don't know if that is your situation. But if it is, know that none of the other men are happy with their jobs. Maybe that is why they act llike they do. Give them the benefit of a doubt if you can. But don't let them walk all over you. Stand up for yourself.

Here is a site that might help you out...

http://moodgym.anu.edu.au/welcome

You can always slow down your relationship. Take it slow... One day at a time and moderation in all things. Have faith that she is being faithful. Do the best that you can. That is all that you can do.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Screaming Eagle
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 4978
   Posted 7/2/2012 1:08 PM (GMT -6)   

 

     Hello Nevayda!

         ...well I suppose I have a question for you! wink   Are you in Love or dependent on your girlfriend? ...and is there any doubt that she is in love with you? I have heard a lot of men say they love their wifes, but rarely to I hear a man say I'm "In Love with my wife/Girlfriend"

  To me there is a bit of a difference...well actually a big difference! I suppose a wife and husband can survive a relationship with one partner suffering from depression..if they really take all of the vows seriously. I see way too many a young couple skip over the "In sickness and health" part of the vows.

  I do think you need some counseling first, and it might be a good idea to see if she can be involved with it as well. If you are really worried about cheating...then there is some doubt in the relationship...and that has to be fixed first..before moving on into a possible marriage.

     I don't post here in the depression forum often, but happen to come across this post, and wanted to comment on it.

   Good luck, and I hope you can work out your fears in the relationship.

       SE wink


Moderator Chronic Pain Forum

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Nvayda1296
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2012
Total Posts : 15
   Posted 7/2/2012 1:49 PM (GMT -6)   
@getting by
i do have a good relationship and i trust her and have faith in her but after years of not trusting people its hard to start. i try to focus on work but since i work on cars i always think of her because she loves old cars as much as i do. its hard but im trying it. and also i want to checc out that site you posted... thank you.
@screaming eagle
i am in love with her. i have been for a long time, i started when we became best friends. i hope we get married and spend our lives together... and thank you.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 34137
   Posted 7/2/2012 2:04 PM (GMT -6)   
I didn't trust people for a long time, but then I got paranoid. I realized it is better to trust and even get hurt once in awhile than to be paranoid. Don't let your issues do that to you. It is a really unhappy place. Take life one day at a time. Talk to your lady at night and hold tight onto that.

You will be feeling better soon. Keep posting... It does help...

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Nvayda1296
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2012
Total Posts : 15
   Posted 7/2/2012 10:54 PM (GMT -6)   
Ok... posting has helped calm me down a Lil bit today... im still really bad though because I feel hopless about it getting better...

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 34137
   Posted 7/3/2012 7:48 AM (GMT -6)   
You will get better as long as you keep trying. It is gradual, so often it goes unnoticed for awhile, but you are going to be feeling better. Just hang in there and keep posting...

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Nvayda1296
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2012
Total Posts : 15
   Posted 7/3/2012 10:34 AM (GMT -6)   
so today I felt pretty crappy... I didn't sleep much and my girls mom hadda go into surgery for her gallbladder and I have no idea what to even do about that

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 34137
   Posted 7/3/2012 1:02 PM (GMT -6)   
By your girl's mom, do you mean your woman?  If it isn't, then there really isn't much you can do.  I would continue working.  But if it is your woman, you might want to ask your boss about coming home.  Gall bladder isn't life or death situation though.
 
Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Post Edited (getting by) : 7/3/2012 12:09:22 PM (GMT-6)


Nvayda1296
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2012
Total Posts : 15
   Posted 7/3/2012 1:03 PM (GMT -6)   
No I mean my mother in law

getting by
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Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 34137
   Posted 7/3/2012 1:10 PM (GMT -6)   
If it is your mother in law, I would just keep in touch with your wife to see how she is doing. Really, take this one day at a time. You are going to be okay.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Nvayda1296
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2012
Total Posts : 15
   Posted 7/3/2012 1:12 PM (GMT -6)   
Eventually... but with every day that passes I feel like soon enough it can't be fixed

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 34137
   Posted 7/3/2012 1:20 PM (GMT -6)   
I take it that this job is just temporary and you will be going home eventually. If you look at the big picture, this is just a small portion of time that you are going to be apart. How often do you get to come home? Arounc here, the guys come home every five weeks or so. Do you get to come home once in awhile? What kind of work are you doing? There may be ways we can help you get through this grewling time. I know it is hard. But you are doing it because you love your family. Try to find good points about it. Do not focus on the not so good things.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Nvayda1296
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2012
Total Posts : 15
   Posted 7/3/2012 11:36 PM (GMT -6)   
I Work close but I don't getta see her much, I see her maybe once a week maybe twice if im luccy... I try to focus on the positives but there aren't really any... I do getta see her tomorrow but not for long... I hate the feeling of losing her or her cheating... it makes her feel like I don't trust her... we both hate being apart and its killing us

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 34137
   Posted 7/4/2012 6:23 AM (GMT -6)   
I guess I don't fully understand the situation. Are you living with her or somewhere else? Do you live together at this time? Do you see anybody for your depression? Are you going to any counseling? I think it would help you. I guess like I said, I don't fully understand what is going on...

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Nvayda1296
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2012
Total Posts : 15
   Posted 7/5/2012 3:30 PM (GMT -6)   
now I feel like dying. her parents caught us having sex and kicced me out... now I have no family because her family felt like mine... I found somewhere I belong and bow its gone

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 34137
   Posted 7/5/2012 4:16 PM (GMT -6)   
I thought you were married to her. This isn't making any sense to me. Please explain. How old is she, and how old are you?
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Nvayda1296
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2012
Total Posts : 15
   Posted 7/5/2012 4:19 PM (GMT -6)   
we're both 17

getting by
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Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 34137
   Posted 7/5/2012 6:13 PM (GMT -6)   
I see... I have been a little confused and I think I have two differen't posts mixed up. I am sorry you two got caught. I guess that there is a time and place for everything and it sounds like you picked the wrong time and place. I hope her parents don't keep you apart, if they do, know you will be 18 soon and will be able to do what you want to. Don't let this get you down, it will work out.

Take care, and keep posting.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Nvayda1296
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2012
Total Posts : 15
   Posted 7/5/2012 6:17 PM (GMT -6)   
I hope so... her moms on our side trying to make sure that we can still see each other

Nvayda1296
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2012
Total Posts : 15
   Posted 7/5/2012 10:35 PM (GMT -6)   
its just... I have no clue how to make her feel better and its driving me over the edge...
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