Failing School. Don't really care as much as I should.

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FinalNirvana
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2004
Total Posts : 22
   Posted 5/19/2005 1:08 AM (GMT -7)   
Hmmm...I don't know why I can't seem to function. My grades are going downhill. I'm failing math and I can't seem to ever attend class. My AP teachers are scolding me for coming in late because they think I'm taking an early summer vacation. I went to bed early last night but this morning I was just so weary and depressed all I could do was crawl back into bed and sleep. I missed an English final so despite my understanding of the course I'm pretty much doomed. My teachers are all disapointed and angry. I don't know. I guess I'm worried about it but maybe not. I feel like I'm just bobbing around, floating in a cloud. I can't seem to care enough to get my work done which leads to endless fights with my parents. I feel bad for my mom. She tries so hard. I wish I could motivate myself but everything seems so...trivial. What's the point of academic achievment? Life is just one thing after another where we're all trying to beat our way to the top. It's amusing the way we tally up our so-called successes like they mean anything at all. Really, everything is petty. Even my pathetic attempts to type this out or care at all. God, I'm so teen-angst. I hate myself for being so...typical. Fourteen and inconceivably, disgustingly, jaded. Well, I better try to sleep now. It's 3 AM. Thanks for listening. I know I'm being stupid.

dobson
New Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 18
   Posted 5/19/2005 3:53 AM (GMT -7)   
((((Final Nirvana))))
I'm an old hag of 40, but I'll never forget how miserable I was when I was 14 - NEVER!!!! It truly was one of my worst years. Everything did seem petty and pointless and I was depressed and miserable. Now whenever I meet someone your age I ask them whether they like school, and I'm always surprised if they say they do. Junior high/middle school is something that you just have to get through - Just survive it. Adults don't realize how traumatic it can be.  Now when I look back on it, I can still recall how awful it was, but also - and this is important - that it's over :-) !!!  That's what I didn't realize at the time; I felt like I was going to be stuck in that bad place for the rest of my life.  Nobody could have convinced me otherwise. It's only now, in my twilight years(!), when I looked back at my long and eventful life with 20/20 hindsight that I realize that yes, it was almost unbearable, but that it was also just one phase of my life. I don't know if this will be helpful, but I would advise you to tell yourself "this is stupid, but it's just temporary!  I'm going to move on to bigger and better things and leave this all behind. Far far behind..." I'm not trying to minimize your pain in any way;  just wish someone had told me, when I was that age, "Hey - there is a big world outside of this stupid school, and you have all kinds of exciting and fulfilling things waiting for you in your future, so just get through this."
 
I don't know if that will be at all helpful, but I was so moved by your post, because I'll never forget how horrible that time was, and I wish a senior citizen(!) like me had assured me that it would definitely get better. Just get through it...

AlwaysRosie
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 8616
   Posted 5/19/2005 1:13 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey Final Nirvana!!

Big cyber hugs from me too!! Effie and Dobson both gave you great advice!!! I was an excellant student until I hit your age and then I just couldn't wait to be done with school and get on with my life.

You are certainly not alone in your thinking . . . but Effie had some great advice about getting help. Reaching out is hard . . . but necessary some times. Dobson hit the nail on the head with the thought that it is hard but temporary.

I hope you will keep us posted!!!

Blessings!
In His Grip,
AlwaysRosie
Psalms 139
UCTD (Undifferentiated Connective Tissue Disease), Hashimoto's, High BP, GI Inflamation, Diverticuloses
Plaquenil, RX Motrin, Lexapro, Amitriptylene, Salagen, Lotrel
 
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FinalNirvana
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2004
Total Posts : 22
   Posted 5/19/2005 1:58 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks for the support. It means a lot.

Unfortunately, my mom is pretty against the idea of me going to a doctor. She says that she thinks I'm either clinically depressed or bipolar but she doesn't believe in therapists and I should sort through my own issues. Apparently, she believes I dramatize other people's problems and that's why I feel this way.

I think I'll make an appointment at the school guidance office though. Maybe it will help just to talk a little.

AlwaysRosie
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 8616
   Posted 5/19/2005 4:34 PM (GMT -7)   
Do make that appointment FinalNirvana.

What your mom may not understand is that the brain only functions normally with a proper balance of brain chemicals. Antidepressants do not give you that chemical . . . . the simply allow your body to retain what it makes on its own. That's why anti-d's are not addictive and that is why they take 2-6 weeks to work.

I hope your guidance counselor can help get you an obtain a professional assessment.

Keep us posted FN!!

Blessings!
In His Grip,
AlwaysRosie
Psalms 139
UCTD (Undifferentiated Connective Tissue Disease), Hashimoto's, High BP, GI Inflamation, Diverticuloses
Plaquenil, RX Motrin, Lexapro, Amitriptylene, Salagen, Lotrel
 
Please help HealingWell help others. Donate today: http://www.healingwell.com/donate/

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