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Suki
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2005
Total Posts : 11
   Posted 6/9/2005 6:09 PM (GMT -7)   
I'm new to this forum, name is Amy... im 19 and have suffered from depression for 3.5 years :(
 
I dont know what to do anymore... Im scared of living like this.
Everything was pretty good until a few days ago, i have my ups and downs, i dont know if i am just simply depressed or if i may have bipolar disorder because noone ever really diagnosed me as i wouldnt talk about it to my old psychs. I was discharged from all mental health services last easter after an admission to a psych hospital for being a "danger" to myself... anyway , i just dont know what to do anymore... i dont know if im suicidal, im just so low and im just sitting here trying my best not to cry. My anxiety has also gone alot worse... i hardly ever leave my house anymore for fear of somethign happening... idont go anywhere on my own hardly, only the walk to work which i do on my own... but tahts it. Im so low right now, i just cant think straight... i used to self harm and im honestly just thinking of doing it again to feel something other than this crap :(
 
Im sorry if it makes no sense, im jst typing and ack i dunno :(
 
Im sorry
 
Amy

Red09
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2003
Total Posts : 424
   Posted 6/9/2005 7:26 PM (GMT -7)   
Ask your family doctor about Cognitive behaviour Therapy. This therapy is very helpful when one has panic disorder, depression etc. It will really help you, so please make sure to ask your doctor about this.

Sounds like you're becoming agrophobic, can't leave the house much...It IS scary because your world and comfort level is shrinking...The negative thoughts and feelings are out of control. I know exactly how you feel as I've been in your shoes Amy. You're not alone, so please continue posting. So many of us have gone through this and once you get help, fight it as hard as you can, try to learn about anxiety and depression, bipolar etc., you'll feel abit better. Learn not to be as scared of it and take back the control.

Takes time, but with the right therapist helping you, gathering friends, support from online and offline friends you can do this! Come to chatnights, talk about it, post about it...

When you go out, bring a friend or a family member with you. The more you avoid going out, not going to certain places, the more you're teaching yourself that behaviour is OK...And it's not. All of what you're experiencing is learned behaviour and all of it can be "untaught" and "Undone" by retraining the brain, relearning how to think more positively.

Get some sleep and post back soon.
Hugs!
Red09


ANGRYWOLF
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2005
Total Posts : 17
   Posted 6/10/2005 6:51 AM (GMT -7)   
Red09 is right...Please find a mentalhealth professional to talk to about your problems and seel consoling /therapy..With the right person..someone you can trust..it can make a big difference...
I take issue with those people who discharged you...they did you a disservice and you could have filed a complaint with the state board that governs mental health facilities...
Please take care...

CheerDad
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2004
Total Posts : 2284
   Posted 6/10/2005 8:57 AM (GMT -7)   
Suki,

Please seek help. Call the local helpline if necessary. Seeking the help of a professional can change the path we are on. I know it did for me. I also know that I will travel in whatever direction I am facing. I choose to face a direction of hope and happiness. I have to make that choice every day and sometimes it is hard to do so when the negative thoughts cloud the path. Each day I try, I get a little better at it. Good luck!


We can respond to irritation with a smile instead of scowl, or by giving warm praise instead of icy indifference. By our being understanding instead of abrupt, others, in turn, may decide to hold on a little longer rather than to give way. Love, patience, and meekness can be just as contagious as rudeness and crudeness.
 
Randy
 
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outofsorts
New Member


Date Joined May 2005
Total Posts : 10
   Posted 6/10/2005 4:40 PM (GMT -7)   
Amy! Just wanted to tell you that you are loved....*hugs*
outofsorts


Having2LeftFeet
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2005
Total Posts : 472
   Posted 6/11/2005 8:45 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi, Amy and welcome to our group. I am so sorry that you are having a bad time right now. Depression isn't any fun, is it. It would be nice if someone could invent a pill that we could take and it would all be gone, but no one has done that yet. So, we deal with it or it consumes us. At the beginning, we are totally in panic and anxiety  moods. After a while we just slump over and let it take over our lives, but Amy, we don't have to anymore. We would still be classified as depressed, but we would be able to manage it through counseling, prescription anti-depressants and the way of thinking.
 
yeah  I love being the one listening and trying to help but lately I have had issues of my own so I go to "outreach". That is this group right here. I see a Psych, but this is my "safe haven" from all my troubles because the group loves, doesn't judge, consoles, understands and gives all the hugs we need.
 
:-)  Amy, there is hope on the horizon. The first thing is that you need to sit quietly and reflect back on your life and write down the positive things you have done so far in your life and then the negatives. See which there is more of and that's where you need to be agressive. Depression is not a "death sentence", it's just a bump in the road. We have to fight it and not let it win, but like myself, sometimes the little creep slithers into my life and then I yell HELP!!! My sisters come and help. Sisters on this board. I love them all. Along with the Lord, they are one constant in my day to day life.  You are so young and have a lot of living to do. Music is my passion. It has always been and I sang back-up in a group for many years but then my voice box decided it would not allow me to sing the notes I wanted to. I still sing at home, in the SUV, wherever. Because it is my passion, there is music going on all over my home. I have 6 speakers on this PC alone. When I am depressed, I go into the bedroom, put the TV on to the love songs channel on Dish and no commercials, just beautiful love songs from the past and present. I just take it all in and go through my past and then I can take it down a thousand. Along with the Lord, it gives me hope. My mom used to say to me, "I wish you knew your schoolwork like you know the words to every song". Find something that you have a passion for. Whatever it is that sooths you, do it. When it's all said and done, you may feel calmer and then take the time to once again reflect on your life and where you want to go with it. Read the posts, past and present here, and you can learn how many members had problems and see how we helped them and how they delt with them. Read often. Post often. I will pray for you. God bless!
 
"Lefty"   
There is no such word as can't. Can't simply means wouln't. Grab as much as life as you can. Future is a long way away for those who don't believe. Don't build a foundation of life on sand. It will take it away with the tide. Love a little more, be unkind a lot less.


AlwaysRosie
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 8616
   Posted 6/11/2005 9:41 AM (GMT -7)   
Hey Amy !

Are you still here???? Wonder how you are feeling by now? Did you make an appointmetn with your doctor. That would be a great first step!! Just get this out in the open. Don't wait sis . . . because it doesn't get any easier to reach out (it just gets harder).

We are concerned about you and hope that you will post again!!

Blessings!
In His Grip,
AlwaysRosie
Psalms 139
UCTD (Undifferentiated Connective Tissue Disease), Hashimoto's, Plantar Fasciitis, Inflamatory Arthritis, High BP, GI Inflamation, Diverticuloses
Plaquenil, Methotrexate, Synthroid, RX Motrin, Lexapro, Amitriptylene, Salagen, Lotrel
 
Please help HealingWell help others. Donate today: http://www.healingwell.com/donate/


Suki
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2005
Total Posts : 11
   Posted 6/11/2005 1:45 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey everyone :) Thanks to all for listening and thanks alot for all the advice, it really means alot to me :)
 
Just to let you know that i went to make a drs appt y/day but they dont do advanced bookings anymore so i have to call on monday morning to get an appt, so hopefully ill get an appointment for monday to get something sorted. Im sorry only now i am replying, but things have been tough, i ahve been reading posts though, just didnt reply til now...
 
Im sorry to keep this short, but i dont know what else to say except thanks alot for helping me... ill come back and post again soon to let you know about my drs appt :)
 
Amy xx

AlwaysRosie
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 8616
   Posted 6/11/2005 3:26 PM (GMT -7)   
Glad for the update Suki!!

Post again when you feel up to it!

Blessings!
In His Grip,
AlwaysRosie
Psalms 139
UCTD (Undifferentiated Connective Tissue Disease), Hashimoto's, Plantar Fasciitis, Inflamatory Arthritis, High BP, GI Inflamation, Diverticuloses
Plaquenil, Methotrexate, Synthroid, RX Motrin, Lexapro, Amitriptylene, Salagen, Lotrel
 
Please help HealingWell help others. Donate today: http://www.healingwell.com/donate/

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