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melodiq_mz
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2005
Total Posts : 22
   Posted 6/10/2005 6:02 PM (GMT -7)   
Hello, i'm new to this site, and i'm new to my condition as well. I was just diagnosed with depression. I'm 23 years old, and i've always, for the most part, been a happy girl. about 2 months ago, i started having these overwhelming thoughts about dying, and they would only come when i was on my way to sleep. Then they started coming during the day then for about three weeks, i was incredibly anxious all of the time, I couldn't eat anything, felt sick and felt like i was gonna pass out if i walked around. I really felt like somthing was telling me that I was gonna die soon. So then I was afraid to go to sleep. I then, started taking control of the anxiety attacks, don't really have those anymore. My appetite has come back, but i just feel incredibly sad, and still have thoughts that i'm going to die soon. And it's wearing me out. I guess i was just wondering if anyone else has ever felt anything like what i'm feeling, and if so, how they delt with it.

thank you....
afraid

AlwaysRosie
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 8616
   Posted 6/10/2005 6:53 PM (GMT -7)   
Welcome Melodi!!!

I would strongly, urgently, suggest that you go see your doctor for detailed work-up. You might have just a chemical imbalance causing you to think like that or you may really have a physical problem. A doctor would be able to rule out lots of stuff and check for lots of stuff.

Please don't ignore this. If you are on an emotional, downhill spiral, it will only get harder and harder to reach out. I hope you'll also keep us up to date on your progress.

Lots of us have felt overwhelmed, down, afraid, guilt, sadness, anxiety. Lots of us have been helped extremely successfully with meds and counseling

If you think you'll have a hard time talking and opening up with all that you've shared above, then wright it down and hand it to the doc when you get to your appointment. ALL that information is important in deciding how best to help you.

Welcome again, and

Blessings!
In His Grip,
AlwaysRosie
Psalms 139
UCTD (Undifferentiated Connective Tissue Disease), Hashimoto's, High BP, GI Inflamation, Diverticuloses
Plaquenil, Methotrexate, Synthroid, RX Motrin, Lexapro, Amitriptylene, Salagen, Lotrel
 
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Vikki1975
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2005
Total Posts : 190
   Posted 6/11/2005 7:35 AM (GMT -7)   

hi there

listen, i think many many many people have times when they think  of dying and get really scared.  esp when in bed some nights.

do you lie there and think of dying one day?  think about it all ending? being final and lonely?  find it hard to get your head around the fact that it will all end and you will be numb and black  ask yourself maybe about the meaning of life - whats the point of living if it'll all go black one day and you will never remember any of life anyway?

i have spoken to many people who sometimes get these occasional thoughts. i think its part of being alive.  none of us know what will happen in death and therefore a lot of us think about it and worry about it.  myself included!  but serisouly, i am afraid to say there really is nothing that we can do about it, and all the worrying in the world will not change it.

when you think about it, you really just have to try and think of something else totally.  dont dwell on it.  i reacon that when we get old and are less able to look after ourselves and are missing the ones that have also dies, we ourselves may even WANT to die!  then it wont be a big deal at all.  its only cos we are young at the moment that it all seems so scary.

what do you think?  try and be brave aye? xx


Having2LeftFeet
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2005
Total Posts : 472
   Posted 6/11/2005 8:05 AM (GMT -7)   
Welcome, Mel to depression group,
     Depression is a very complex illness. No one person knows why we have it (medically speaking) and some poeple think we label ourselves "depressed" for attention. If the depression is real, it is not for attention. When I am really low, I don't want anyone to be around me ar talk to me. The way I communicate with the one's who care, I come to this site. Everyone is in the same boat BUT for many different reasons. When I am so depressed, feeling like I am at the bottom of a pit, I pray to my Lord and Savior. No one here frowns on our Christain beliefs. I am not ashamed to talk about it like some people because they call us "bible thumpers" or "holy rollers". I am proud of my Christianity, but it is tested every day. The Lord wants us to know that He is there for us and may put us under conviction from time to time to see how we can deal with the issues. "What doesn't kill us makes us stronger". Meditate a lot. Just sit in a quiet room and think about your life and what you want out of life and how you can get what you want. Negative begets negative and positive begets positive. I know this is a lot to digest in one post, but we have the will to "Jump start" the newbee's.  
 
You will have support and understanding here and no one will put you down or harass you. We will try to help. Read the past posts. They can be of great help to you. Post and we will respond. I will pray for you today.
 
"Lefty"   
There is no such word as can't. Can't simply means wouln't. Grab as much as life as you can. Future is a long way away for those who don't believe. Don't build a foundation of life on sand. It will take it away with the tide. Love a little more, be unkind a lot less.


melodiq_mz
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2005
Total Posts : 22
   Posted 6/11/2005 10:44 AM (GMT -7)   
Thank you everyone for yourn posts, they are really helpful. I've been to my doctor, had my physical and everything, and i'm told that everything looks good. As a child I had epilepsy that I grew out of, so i even went to a nerologist, and he told me that it just looks like a depressive episode. When I started feeling like I was loosing control, I started reading this book called Battlefield of the Mind by Joyce Meyer, and it has been helping me a LOT! Althought, I sometimes just feel like I may live the rest of my life waiting to die, cause it's so hard for me to stop thinking about it. And it's just so strange to me, cause i've NEVER felt like this before, never really thought about the things that I'm thinking about now. And it seemed like it came all of a sudden out of nowhere. These past several years there has been a lot of changes in my life, but I thought that I was handling it well. And NOW for me to all of a sudden start feeling depressed after all the change has already taken place, just seems strange to me. Like why would I just NOW be feeling the affects of things that have happend and changed in the past????

melodiq_mz
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2005
Total Posts : 22
   Posted 6/11/2005 10:44 AM (GMT -7)   
Sorry i just started rambling.....

AlwaysRosie
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 8616
   Posted 6/11/2005 11:19 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Melodi!!

Glad you got checked out by the doc. Did either doctor recommend counseling? It sounds like you have some issues which need to be addressed (even though they are from the past). What you are describing sounds like post traumatic stress syndrome. It is common for traumatic events to stay in the shadows for a while before popping out. You initial energy works toward living through the trauma. I think the bad thoughts pop back out when they feel like it. I sure hope you get some help in dealing with this. I wouldn't ignore it.

Also, seeing that you were reading a Joyce Meyer's book (I love her!!), you might be experiencing spiritual warfare. You have become closer to God and devil wants you on his team. Something to think about. You are in my prayers sis!!

Blessings!
In His Grip,
AlwaysRosie
Psalms 139
UCTD (Undifferentiated Connective Tissue Disease), Hashimoto's, Plantar Fasciitis, Inflamatory Arthritis, High BP, GI Inflamation, Diverticuloses
Plaquenil, Methotrexate, Synthroid, RX Motrin, Lexapro, Amitriptylene, Salagen, Lotrel
 
Please help HealingWell help others. Donate today: http://www.healingwell.com/donate/


Vikki1975
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2005
Total Posts : 190
   Posted 6/11/2005 11:29 AM (GMT -7)   

hi mel

look, exactly this happened to me also.  i think there can be a delay before you can feel stress and anxiety.  the past few weeks have been awful for me, but the past 6 months has been fine in my life.  what I mean is, the last few years have been traumatic, but i never suffered then.  so that made me also asked the question "why now"?  it baffled me.  but we have to deal with it dont we.  i think maybe when our lives are busy we are so concentrating on just GETTIN THROUGH IT that we dont have time to feel the affects of the stress.  then, when our bodies calm down a bit, it all comes out. 

is this any help at all?  vikki x


melodiq_mz
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2005
Total Posts : 22
   Posted 6/12/2005 4:11 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank you again for all responses! It's really helping me to know that my situation isn't rare. And to AlwaysRosie, yeah, i DO think I'm experiencing some spiritual warfare. I always thought I was living a righteous life for the most part, but through this situation, God has shown me so much as far as where I need to grow. And i'm believing that he's letting me go through this situation so that when I come out of it, i will have a serious testimony, and my faith will be stronger.

Thank you all

truettruet
New Member


Date Joined Aug 2005
Total Posts : 10
   Posted 8/8/2005 9:19 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Melodiq. I'm going through the exact same thing that you have described. This summer, there have been a lot of changes for me such as moving, college and my dads recent heart problems. It seems like all of the sudden I cannot get the thought of death off of my mind. Which is silly because it's something we have no control over. Its usually before I go to bed and then WHAM I start to worry..."I don't want to die, what if I die right now, what if my mom or dad dies, I don't want them to die, what happens when we die, why am i so scared to die..." these thoughts constantly run through my head until I've worried myself into a panic attack and exhaust myself. Its good to know I'm not the only one who seems stuck in a rut but I know I will come out of it and you will too. Let me know what you do to control these thoughts about something we have no control over. I would love to move on from this fear.

Post Edited (truettruet) : 8/8/2005 10:30:05 PM (GMT-6)

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