Someone please kick me, I hurt the one person who loves and cares for me

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Having2LeftFeet
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2005
Total Posts : 472
   Posted 6/14/2005 7:14 PM (GMT -7)   
Well, I've managed to really make a mess and now I am hoping I can clean it up. My husband has been struggling with a weight problem because of yo-yo drinking. He has a closet full of new pants, dockers, new shorts, dockers, RL polo's and about 10 pr. levi's. He has 3 sizes. 38, 40 and 42. One too small, one's to big. He has to attend a charity function at some manner in New York on Thurs. and I made a comment about the jacket and tie. I asked him if he tried on the ones he has and he said they didn't fit. Here we go again buying clothes to suite his weight. Money doesn't grow on trees and my medical is getting more and more expensive, once again, being selfish which is wrong for me to do. He said he was going to Kohls today to get a jacket on his way out of toww. Well, you would have thought that an elephant came into the living room and took a dump on the carpet. I flew off the handle and lost it. I started ranting and raving about the amount of money he has invested in dress clothes in his closet and the amount of times he wears them. NEVER, except for functions like this one. He wear Docker pants and golf shirt with company logo on the for the summer and the winter he wears denim shirts with the logo. He just bought 2 new pair of pasts a few weeks ago and a belt and ck one which as if you know, costs a lot and he uses it like crazy. Smells like a frnech red  light distrect  street walker. Anyway, I blew and told him if he would lose weight he would have plenty of clothes and he wasn't bying a new jacket. This is so ot me. I guess a harmone went out of whack or something. He started telling me he will get what he wants since he makes the money in the house and my SSI check is $80 shy of the rent. He threw his cigarettes and lighter at me and I grabbed one of his golf clubs. Temper, and angey control. The little dog ran down stairs and the Dalmatian took off into a corner. I was terrible. I called him a fat pig and my God, I am doing the Lords work today to make up for it. He kissed the dogs bye and told them to be good as he does every day and blew me off even though I told him to have a safe trip and I would pray for him. That went over like a lead balloon. I called my mom and she told me to do the right thing and leave him a voice mail and say I was sorry which I am for calling him fat and for being mean. He always calls when he is out-of-town to check up on his 3 girls, as he says but 10:08 PM and no call. He's still "ISSED" and I get what I deserve. I haden't been that bad since my last outburst months and months ago. I asked God to forgive me and hope I made the wrong right.
 
I also learned that he bought Hall and Oates concert tickets for Sept 3 in Conn, I think. He paid for VIP parking so I didn;t have to walk. He got box seats and cost a lot of $$$$$$$$$$. He did it as a surprise but I got mad because he didn't aske me first. What an "ITCH" I am. Where is this coming from. Tears for Fears and Hall and Oates remastered and up and running again. Like I said, someone please kick me in the arse. HARD!! I feel like such a scuze.
 
"Lefty"
Sue
There is no such word as can't. Can't simply means wouln't. Grab as much as life as you can. Future is a long way away for those who don't believe. Don't build a foundation of life on sand. It will take it away with the tide. Love a little more, be unkind a lot less.


Having2LeftFeet
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2005
Total Posts : 472
   Posted 6/14/2005 7:23 PM (GMT -7)   
PS....He just called and gave me absolution and told me he forgave me and he knew it wasn't me. I just think it's the stress of the doctors and all that crud. Thank the good Lord he pulled me out of another one.
 
Hugs
There is no such word as can't. Can't simply means wouln't. Grab as much as life as you can. Future is a long way away for those who don't believe. Don't build a foundation of life on sand. It will take it away with the tide. Love a little more, be unkind a lot less.


dbab
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2004
Total Posts : 4151
   Posted 6/15/2005 5:01 AM (GMT -7)   
Sue,
I'm glad to hear everything turned out okay. I'm sure it was extra stressful knowing that you had this argument and then he goes out of town. Saying sorry is so hard to do but I believe is ALWAYS necessary. I used to never say it even when I knew I was wrong just because of my selfish pride. I then started to realize that if I can't say it, I don't deserve to hear it so that completely changed my attitude. You wouldn't believe what that little word will do FOR a relationship or lack of the word do TO a relationship.
Des (dbab)
IBS, Diverticulosis, GERD, Disc Degeneration
"If you don't like something change it; if you can't change it, change the way you think about it" - Mary Engelbreit
 
 
 


AlwaysRosie
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 8616
   Posted 6/15/2005 6:13 AM (GMT -7)   
*Rosie pats Lefty on the back* At a girl Lefty . . . you answered your own questions!!! To error is human, to forgive is divine. He had to have the jacket to do the trip (period). You worked it all out, just writing about it sis!!!

Enjoy the concert!!

Blessings!
In His Grip,
AlwaysRosie
Psalms 139
UCTD (Undifferentiated Connective Tissue Disease), Hashimoto's, Plantar Fasciitis, Inflamatory Arthritis, High BP, GI Inflamation, Diverticuloses
Plaquenil, Methotrexate, Synthroid, RX Motrin, Lexapro, Amitriptylene, Salagen, Lotrel
 
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Having2LeftFeet
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2005
Total Posts : 472
   Posted 6/15/2005 8:13 AM (GMT -7)   
TY, Guys. I fell better today. Sometmes it is good to put distance between you and someone you love to have a "I really miss her/him" feeling. Hugs
Sue
There is no such word as can't. Can't simply means wouln't. Grab as much as life as you can. Future is a long way away for those who don't believe. Don't build a foundation of life on sand. It will take it away with the tide. Love a little more, be unkind a lot less.

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