hey new here sorta want to chat 17 yrs old bad mood

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curtiss
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2005
Total Posts : 20
   Posted 6/16/2005 6:39 AM (GMT -7)   
is anyone there......okay this is really confusin but if you want to read bout some of the stuff why my im gettin depressed lil bit snappy i want you to know lotsa the story........ im not feelin the greatest cant sleep i have had a sleeping dissorders for 5 or so years. this is a depression board so i'll get too the point.when i was 13 i popped couple hundred pills anti depressants of my dads n sleeping pills he had thing is i went to bed knowing i was going to die my sister came in my room asking for a smoke n asking me why i was going to bed so early seen empty pill containers of my dads so ends up seeing im white as **** n the way i was talking i popped them they force me to the hospital you guys know the rest of that story.anyways.... i dont think i can sleep maybe because i am depressed,i forget the type of depression i have but i have been diagnosed with depressin n anxiety too. anyways my life isnt the greatest but i try to keep a good outlook on life as much as possible. it just no good when stuff happen i sometimes go numb emotions are gone . ever since i was 12 ive had very slight relationship with my parents all it was was a fight or a ignoreing of eachother . my dad always worked was out of town for wks did not see him much mom n me have too many differences we cant talk or anything. so comes highschool all i got is my friends..... i start trying out drugs which really ****ed me up my school crashed n my life pretty much did too.... i started dealing drugs n using but i got very depressed because thats seemed to become my life.. i started to see loosing any good friend i had n only had ppl around me you cant call friends......my life started changing i tried gettin back into school n had to wait 6 months too get in stopped using drugs still sold them started drinking alot n partying went to drug counciling for 6 months got into school n sold drugs there n made some better good friends.. my parents finally split up well say that like im glad but i could see it how they faught when i was younger till my dad moved out its was bound to happen.. i moved in with my dad n my life was very independent cuz i had the house to myself so i learned how to cook n sold drugs out of his house too make money....i found out my dad was using n had too leave town for 1 month n a half so that ment i had to stay with my mom... got kicked out of my moms place i hit the streat for a month n a half couch hoping or staying up for days straight.... some of the places i would stay was at a good friend of mine but his friends were no good they stole money i need to live off n drugs i sold big debts on my head put me into a depressed state no home 16 years old owe 3 grand n need money for food i decided to slash up my wrists a bit called up ministry of family n children said i need a place i got kicked out of moms so on dad is gone n ****e dup on heroine i cant live with them dont got relatives to live with i jsut want my education n a safe place.... well the government takes a long time to set this crap up so i waited n said well im going to sell drugs again went alright for awhile i wasnt using drugs.my dad moved back in town after his detox in alberta n said im clean im better now come live with me so i did....was only a month n i found out he was still using opened his door to him shootin up so i took off didnt have anywhere to go came bak there when he was gone after i cooled off a bit... few months of living there sellin drugs had a 3 masked guys bust in my place with a shotgun tazer n blade slammed the door on them they forced it open pushed me to the ground pointing a shotgun at me my dad stood up n yellled **** right off thinking it was just a prank they guy with the shotgun hit him in the back with the shotgun then the head thats all i seen i got out of there called 911 hopfully the cops would get tehre in time ...... but they didnt the 3 masked guys didnt even **** get caught now getting a shotgunned pulled on you watchin your dad get hit in the head that ****s with your mind like my mind is already ****ed up been 2 months since then ive quite selling drugs government trying to move me outta town im trying to go back on a youth agrement get out of this house n get my own place finish up school n im getting ****ed around been a month n a half n the govs got no word fro me ive been going to counciling for a year n its all jsut ****ed up could say im ina suicidle state but i dont think i would type this all maybe this is how im dealing with it any comments would be cool there is my life n yes this will all be very confusing too all of you
 
ciao take care everyone
 
curt

LizaB
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2005
Total Posts : 50
   Posted 6/16/2005 6:54 AM (GMT -7)   
All that and you are just 17
Seems like you are derpressed because you didnt have much of a childhood.
Do you go to counseling of any type? If not I would hope that you would want someone to talk to that could help you figure out where you need to be for your own mental health. Consider it if you havent already started.
This is a good place to come and let it all out and we all would like to offer some advise, but at your age and with the family situation, serious counseling might be of great help to you. Sounds like you would rather have a normal drug free life than what you have been dealt.
 
In Love and Faith
 
Liza
Hug Your Children Everyday, and Tell Them That You Love Them
In Memory of My Son:
Michael Joesph Palazzolo
April 19, 1985 - Feburary 24, 2005
 


curtiss
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2005
Total Posts : 20
   Posted 6/16/2005 6:54 AM (GMT -7)   
im replying to my own post jsut to say i dont know why i posted this but maybe someone can relate ......... n does anyone know could ways to cope with deep depression

curtiss
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2005
Total Posts : 20
   Posted 6/16/2005 7:09 AM (GMT -7)   
i see a counciler ive been seeing one for awhile now has helped my counciler has to tell the government ive seen her i have to go wkly for my youth agreemnt i missed last apointment which isnt good n i havent been able to do school work for the last wk cuz i have been couch hopin but they government is going to look at the missed councilers appointment n me not handed my wks worth of work n as im not commiting to the plan
its really hard to commit to the agreement when your depressed have bad sleep paterns and never got a place you can stay at n settle down i havent slept forever
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