Lost job, bed ridden

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Dysphoria
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2013
Total Posts : 8
   Posted 7/2/2013 2:10 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi,I have been "not right" since I was a child and have had 3 suicide attempts.  I have recently been diagnosed wit BP type ll where I am totally paralyzed by depression.  I never have up days...which is good because I use to have manic episodes.  April 2nd I walked out of my job, sold my car for living money and started packing like I was gonna go somewhere.  I see a psychiatrist and have been on so many different medications and I just cannot get better.  I have applied of SSDI because I am really sick.  One thing that has helped me is to say I'm sick and try not to feel so guilty about it.  I do not have extended family, but I do have few friends who help.  This is my first post ever, I tend not to reach out, but I think I will.  I'm glad you are here.  I never thought I was alone just too stubborn to share.  Thank you.

Gizzy'n me
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2013
Total Posts : 1776
   Posted 7/2/2013 4:19 PM (GMT -6)   
It is time to reach out.
 
And a good start that you've made.
 
Keep the non-guilt feelings going. I was on something of a guilt trip for decades until a very caring Psycologist had many, many talks with me.
 
Keep the denial at bay - as you have - by saying you're sick.
 
  My personal opinion only (and I am not a medical person) ... there were three different situations in my last 20-years where I needed to see a good counselor of some type. The first had to do with divorce, children, a father dying and my whole world coming down - financially and emotionally. I saw a qualified Psycologist for months (mostly weekly), and it was my best option ... and it worked well!
  The second had to do with a crumbling relationship - and we went to see a couples counselor. As it turned out, it was not a good experience - the counselor was mediocre and my partner really didn't want to do it.
  The third is in seeing a highly qualified Psycologist who deals with terminal patients. I saw him a year ago twice. I need to see him again now. And the beauty about it .... I am not in denial!!!
 
Neither are you - take that next step.
 
Again, my opinion only ... a good psycologist will very quickly know you need medication - even though they are not licensed to prescribe it. They may even have ideas of what type to suggest to an MD. But - a psycologist is much more likely to use the medication as a tool ... whereas the Psychiatrist (in my opinion) focuses far too much on the chemicals intended to go into your body.
 
Keep reaching .......   

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 33766
   Posted 7/2/2013 5:23 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Dysphoria,

Welcome to the depression forum. I agree with the above post, start with a psychologist, or counselor, go from there. You may need medication if you aren't on some already, if you are, you may need some type of adjustment.

I really hope that things get better soon. Keep posting, as it does help.

Hugs, Karen...
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Dysphoria
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2013
Total Posts : 8
   Posted 7/2/2013 6:09 PM (GMT -6)   
I have only seen psychiatrist that doesn't get in to all the mushy stuff. On welbutrin and divalprpex (whatever that is). I could not handle seroquil. He thinks I am ready for some talk therapy. I know I am. Lost mother and long term relationship around same time. So hard to talk about it. Was in 2007. Since losing job and no prospects sometimes I don't see a way out. Do have house paid for, but falling down around me. Have been eyeballing new grocery carts at the Bilo grocery store. Just kidding. See how people are homeless tho.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 33766
   Posted 7/2/2013 7:15 PM (GMT -6)   
I think you will find another job. It takes a little time though. I know, there isn't much. I think that the talk therapy will help you too. Things will get brighter.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 33766
   Posted 7/2/2013 7:24 PM (GMT -6)   
Post by Dysphoria:
 
 
I actually walked out on my job.  I'm 57 and can't handle new change.  Been in same field forever.  I am not bed ridden, just don't want to get out of bed.  Don't want to shower or brush teeth, my animals have suffered.  I do have a broken foot, but I was way tired before that happened.  Unusually tired.  I have embraced the illness and have a few more medical things going on.  I am not suicidal, just don't know what to do about anything. 
 
 
Dysphoria,
 
I moved your post from your other thread because it is in the same line of discussion as the other ones on this thread.
Hugs, Karen...
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

BnotAfraid
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2012
Total Posts : 3597
   Posted 7/2/2013 8:08 PM (GMT -6)   
Welcome to the forum.

I think this is a perfect time for you to look into DBT and or mindfulness for daily coping skills that can help you.

If you go to the top of this thread there is a posting for Resources and there are 4 pages of web sites and phones numbers there for all sorts of things. I hope you take time to check it out.

Peace
Trina
Moderator - Depression
Be still and know there is Peace.

Kabir says: "Student tell me, what is God? He is the breath inside the breath". from the poem Breath.
DX: reverse Trigeminal Neuralgia;Cluster headaches; Atypical face pain; raynauds;complex PTSD; recurring MDD,disassociative disorder;

Gizzy'n me
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2013
Total Posts : 1776
   Posted 7/3/2013 10:23 AM (GMT -6)   
You're reaching ...... and that's good!
 
  I hope you feel it's time to seek a qualified counselor. I see that a death of someone very close and the loss of a close relationship 6-years ago are still very much bothering you. A good counselor can help bring the sadness out of you and put your losses into perspective - and certainly can help.
 
  Might I suggest that, especially without a current job, to search for a Psycologist or more than likely a group of Psycologists that, thru some government source, work on a sliding fee. I can tell you, I did that about 18-years ago, and I found a terrific counselor (with a PhD) who brought me out of a bad place ... and her groups fee (subsidized by the county) came out to be about 30% of her normal fee. 
 
  Please keep talking too ... in this format ... or with friends ... or both!!!
 
 
 
 
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