New here - Can you help pls? WHY am I feeling like this?

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Vikki1975
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2005
Total Posts : 190
   Posted 7/28/2005 1:26 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi All
 
I have previously posted in the Anxiety forum, but I am really confused about WHAT I am suffering with.  Are anxiety and depression linked?
 
Can anyone familiarise with how I am feeling? Its like this:
Some days I feel fine.
Some days I feel like I should just end my life as I am noi use to anyone, have no energy, have no thirst for life, feel that life is wated on me and I am not wirthy of it, feel unloved and unwanted - nothing but a burden.
Other days I am sonewhere in between, not happy, but no on the brink either, just purely existing. But feeling ok.
 
I would say that its about a cycle, for example.  Maybe I have a couple of each days each week.  I never know what day it will be tomorrow and I have no control over it.
 
On my worst days I get so low. I cry all day and my thoughts are SO deep......do you know what I mean by that?  Its like I sit and think so deeply that everything looks black and my stomache drops out.  Like Im so hollow and worthless.  Its actually a physical pain.
 
How can I have such awful days, and other days that are fine?
 
I also suffer anxiety type pains, with days that I am shakey, fuzzy headed, and really nervous inside.  Like I have fizz in my tummy and im going to explode.
 
Can anyone sympathise?  Do you know what I am feeling?  Please post some replies for me to read.  I am really low and worrying that things w2ill always be like this.  I am only 29 and dont want to feel like this.  I want to be happy and enjoy my life.
 
Vikki xxxxx
 
 
 
 
 
 

AlwaysRosie
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 8616
   Posted 7/28/2005 1:57 PM (GMT -7)   
Welcome Vikki !!

Well, you've done a great job of describing depression (and maybe an anxiety disorder too). You REALLY need to get help from a doctor and a therapist. One step at a time, sis . . . but do make an appointment with your doc NOW. It is a scary thing to do, but really they deal with this every day. Copy the words you wrote above and bring that with you if you are afraid to speak it out loud. I have a hard time speaking such things verbally, but I can easily write it.

There are some very effective tools for managing depression and anxiety, you just need to ask. Medicine and therapy work VERY well together and most people are helped emensly with those two things. Most of the people who post here are just trying to find their way. Most people stop posting in this forum once they feel better, but a few of us stick around and try to help others find their way too.

Keep us posted sis!!

Blessings!
In His Grip,
AlwaysRosie          "We can't control the waves, but we can learn to surf!"
Psalms 139
UCTD (Undifferentiated Connective Tissue Disease), Hashimoto's, Plantar Fasciitis, Inflamatory Arthritis, High BP, GI Inflamation, Diverticuloses
Plaquenil, Methotrexate, Metanx, Synthroid, RX Motrin, Lexapro, Amitriptelyne, Salagen, Lotrel


Vikki1975
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2005
Total Posts : 190
   Posted 7/28/2005 1:59 PM (GMT -7)   

Really?  Is what I am feeling typical?

I have been to the Dr.  First time he gave me Cipralex, which erupted in a MASSIVE panic attack and made me want to kill myself!  I swiftly stopped those! Dr siad they didnt agree with me.

I also have been given diazapam, and they help by taking one on my worst days, but it doesnt help with my day to day life.  I really need to get help.

 


AlwaysRosie
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 8616
   Posted 7/28/2005 2:04 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Vikki!!

Great start!! Now, please know that some of us have to try several meds before we find the right one(s) at the right dosage to work best. Each person is different, each med is different. So don't give up and don't be afraid to try another med.

Yes . . . you described depression for lots of folks looking for the right words. Each person is different of course, some can't eat, some can't stop eating, some sleep way too much, some can't sleep at all.

Call the doc back and tell him you are ready for the next step. Be very open. If you can't talk to him, find another doc. This is your life and you should have an easy communication with your doc. Glad you have taken the critical first steps!!!

Keep posting!! Your burden will feel lighter when you share it.

Blessings!
In His Grip,
AlwaysRosie          "We can't control the waves, but we can learn to surf!"
Psalms 139
UCTD (Undifferentiated Connective Tissue Disease), Hashimoto's, Plantar Fasciitis, Inflamatory Arthritis, High BP, GI Inflamation, Diverticuloses
Plaquenil, Methotrexate, Metanx, Synthroid, RX Motrin, Lexapro, Amitriptelyne, Salagen, Lotrel


Vikki1975
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2005
Total Posts : 190
   Posted 7/28/2005 2:30 PM (GMT -7)   

thanks for your replies rosie.

i must admit, i am scared of pills now.  that one I took really freaked me out and i thought i was going to kill myself cos it gave me suicidal thoughts.  it was awful.  im scared to try others now.

it was called cipralex and i tink it was an SSRI?  (was it? how can I find out?)
are there other types of meds that could help me, that are not in the same group?
 
i have taken the diazapam, and they do help.  are these in a different family?  these seem to agree with me more....xxx

MindsEyeOpen
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 29
   Posted 7/28/2005 5:43 PM (GMT -7)   
Yup I agree with Rosie, sounds like depression. On the med issue even though I am struggling with debate personally whether or not to take them, they can really help. I too had a bad experience with meds being Effexor which I was told is an SSRI but I think was really a new class called SNRI (Selective Norepinephrine-Serotonin Reuptake Inhibiter). Those made me feel like I was going crazy and induced even worse depressive thinking. As a result I wouldn't go near meds even when I needed it the most. Lexapro works fine for me on average with very little side effects if any. Some people have bad experiences on it though like I had with Effexor and some people taking Effexor are fine like me with Lexapro. as Rosie said unfortunately it takes a little playing around to find whats the right med and dose combination. Either way a Doc visit is a good call they can tell you more and really help out.

BTW Diazapam is in the Benzodiazepine family which includes Xanax and Colonapin(spelling). If you need a good free site to look up med info check out www.RXlist.com for patient and doc information for just about every prescription drug available.

IMstrong
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 7/29/2005 8:32 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Vicki,
I do know how you feel. I too suffer from a mix of symptoms. I'm 46 and have only just begun to address my depression, social anxiety, and other conditions. What I've noticed is that now that I,m actively dealing with my feelings, rather than stuffing them, I feel them more intensely.
So at least know that you are not alone. Do your best on a day to day basis. The past is gone, try to forget it. The future doesn't exist, try not to worry about it. Live in the here and now as much as you can. Another thing I've found really helpfull is journaling.
Oh, by the way, please forgive my style of communicating, I certainly don't mean to try to tell you what to do. I simply want to validate your feelings and offer some insight. I wish you well.

Post Edited (IMstrong) : 7/29/2005 9:36:19 AM (GMT-6)


AlwaysRosie
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 8616
   Posted 7/29/2005 9:08 AM (GMT -7)   
Vikki,

Your doctor or the pharmacist would be the best person to ask the medical or drug questions. I haven't heard of cipralex . . . but I am not trained in the area either. I am just a friend who has also experienced depression.

If you tell your doctor what you've explained here, I think he could help you decide your next step.

Please keep us posted!

Blessings!
In His Grip,
AlwaysRosie          "We can't control the waves, but we can learn to surf!"
Psalms 139
UCTD (Undifferentiated Connective Tissue Disease), Hashimoto's, Plantar Fasciitis, Inflamatory Arthritis, High BP, GI Inflamation, Diverticuloses
Plaquenil, Methotrexate, Metanx, Synthroid, RX Motrin, Lexapro, Amitriptelyne, Salagen, Lotrel


taintedangel
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2005
Total Posts : 303
   Posted 7/29/2005 9:40 AM (GMT -7)   
hi vikki and welcome to the site. i'm new to treatment for depression and anxiety not necessarily new to depression and anxiety itself. i've battled that off and on for several years. I'm in the very beginnings of treatment and I'm currently taking zoloft which for some works great but I don't think its working for me at all. I was taking 50mg and my doctor upped it to 100mg and i can tell its not helping. you've come to a good place though. i'm still getting to know some of the people on here but most seem nice. we all want the same thing to enjoy a better quality of life. When I found this place I was at a really low down time to the point I wanted to give up and I basically had. I was having suicidal thoughts and scared for myself and for my family cause I had hit that point several times in the past and that's when I decided enough was enough something wasn't right. I nearly didn't call my counselor the first time but I'm so glad I did. I've only had a few visits but I can tell once i find the right medication for myself that the counseling is going to do a lot of good. Its something I've need for a long time and have been running away from it thinking I can do it on my own but their comes a time when you have to get help. I hate asking for help but I was ready to change. I can't seem much progress as of yet since its all new but I think in the next couple of months things are going to get better. They have to, god wouldn't want us to feel like we do for the rest of our lives. I suggest calling a counselor and start with that. Its your decision though and when your ready.

CheerDad
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2004
Total Posts : 2284
   Posted 7/29/2005 9:44 AM (GMT -7)   
Vikki,

I was very worried about taking anything that affects my mind. Hey, it's just depression and I should snap out of it. Well, I filled my head with this crap for years and quess what, I never did just snap out of it. Yeah, it took a couple of different trys at some meds before I found one that seems to be working well. It also took professional help to realize my "stinkin thinkin" was keeping me in the dark whole of depression. Good luck and hope you find the anwers you are looking for.
We can respond to irritation with a smile instead of scowl, or by giving warm praise instead of icy indifference. By our being understanding instead of abrupt, others, in turn, may decide to hold on a little longer rather than to give way. Love, patience, and meekness can be just as contagious as rudeness and crudeness.
 
Randy
 
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