Sometimes I feel so bad for people such as yourself that I want to reach into my PC and grab and hug them and tell them it will be OK. Unfortunately, that is easier said than done, so I can show you I care by telling you that I think in one time or another we have all had feelings of hopelessness and despare. A feeling of uselessness. I feel that way myself because I am disabled and my husband does everything for me, thank the good Lord. Ergo, I consider myself blessed. Life is just hard and when we don't have the support we need it makes it even harder. You have that support here and I know I can speak for everyone that kindness is the key to caring. You will find kindness and caring here as well. Hold on to your faith and read some of the past posts and perhaps they can give you comfort. I look forward to hearing from you often.