Friend tried to commit suicide

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Regular Member

Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 190
   Posted 8/14/2005 6:11 AM (GMT -6)   
I got a phone call last night that a friend of mine tried to kill himself.  his wife just left him.  he called me that evening and we talked for almost an hour about it...he was so quiet when we got off the phone.  i don't know what to do.  i feel like i failed him.  i tried to help him when we talked.  i listened to him to him talk and his fears...i tried to be there for him.  before we hung up, i asked him to promise me not to do anything stupid.  he told me not to worry, he wasn't going to "get a razor blade and slit [his] wrists or anything."  well, he didn't do that...he's diabetic and he od'ed on insulin.  he sent a friend an email which prompted her to call him.  after sending the email, he had gotten on a suicide hotline and i guess through that the paramedics were called.  my friend called while the paramedics were there and they told her they had him stabalized and were taking him to the hospital.  that was at 130am.
i don't know what to do now.  i feel like i failed him.  did i say something to him that prompted this?  did i not say something i should have?  should i have not hung up?  i don't know.  i'm scared and i don't know what to do now. 
Afterwards, the universe will explode for your pleasure. - Douglas Adams

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 8616
   Posted 8/14/2005 8:45 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Lilac,

You did NOT fail him. You were THERE for him. Who knows what might have happened if you hadn't spent that caring time with him. He may have done worse and accomplished the deed. Most important thing is that he got professional help.

If he is getting professional help, then all you have to do is be you! Just let him know you care and that you are glad he is still here. I have a couple people who I am close to (but one is long distance) and I send them occassional e-cards ( has freebies, as do other sites). I go into the ecard section and pick out a few encouraging cards and send them along. You can choose dates on wich they will be sent, so one visit there can be quite well spent and your friend can receive cards on several dates.

BTW: I am not trained in depression . . . just speaking as a friend.

Any small kindness or encouragement can be very rewarding for anyone, but when we are depressed it is especially meaningful.

Your friend is lucky to have someone like you who cares about him. You did good sis!!

In His Grip,
AlwaysRosie          "We can't control the waves, but we can learn to surf!"
Psalms 139
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Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2004
Total Posts : 4151
   Posted 8/14/2005 11:08 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Lil,

Things work out in unusually ways. Had it not been for you keeping him on the phone for as long as you did, the timing of his friend's email may have been off so I immediately looked at it as a team effort. You had a big part of your friend getting the help that he needed. How do you know that he did not call the suicide hotline after seriously thinking about what you talked about? DON'T think that you failed him!! You are a friend to him, you were there when he needed you. I really admire that, that must be one of the hardest things anyone can do.

Take Care
Des (dbab)
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"If you don't like something change it; if you can't change it, change the way you think about it" - Mary Engelbreit
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Regular Member

Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 29
   Posted 8/16/2005 2:11 AM (GMT -6)   
Lilac you helped!

Trust me, a little can go along way, and your talk with him was much more then a little. YOU DID NOT FAIL. You have shown your friend he has someone to go to and that is so very important. Your help will strengthen their resolve and make the world that much brighter. Depressives need all the bright we can get. Having a good friend talk with you about the hurt can really help alot.

I agree with Rosie and dbab that you helped your friend stay alive. Despite what he did, the loyal help you gave in his dire situation will not be forgotten. Being there is the most important thing a friend can help with, and you you were there!

I hope both your friend and you feel better. May he be blessed with a speedy recovery!
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