Post Edited (Greenman145) : 9/8/2006 7:09:00 PM (GMT-6)
Believe me, my heart goes out to you! I understand how both you and your wife feel. My supported my husband through 6 years of depression. I am a nurse too and because I have experience in psychiatry, I am not sure if the Dr's listened to me more than my husband. My husband outwardly looked good, well dressed, well kept, but inside he was crumbling. I believe that there needs to be a balance between yourself, the Dr (maybe a referral to a psychiatrist - depending on the severity of her conditions) and the therapist. It can take a few different therapists before you find the right match. If you wife has suicidal thoughts, listen to them, hear her and make sure that the medical comminuty listens to her as well. That was my husbands' problem, I listened but the Dr's really didn't get how sick he truely was. I am sorry, but I am very passionate about this stuff, in May my husband took his life. He had seen his therapist that day (who had been good match), but there were no signs at that time. Mike decided that he was the cause of all of our problems and couldn't take the despair anymore.
If it has been 6 months that she has been on antidepressants without much effect then I think you should speak to your Dr about that. There are drugs that work better on some people, but 6 months is certainly a long time. Depression is exhausting and unrelenting. I don't know if I have any advice for you or not, but ensure that the medical professionals are listening to both your concerns and your wife's concerns aw well. What did help my husband when his depression was at its worst was having him get involved in a community group. He loved helping out and making a difference.
It is so good to hear that you are supporting your wife, that I believe is the most important key to over coming depression.
I am sorry for your loss. It hurts me deeply to hear that this happened in spite of the counseling. My wife has not expressed such thoughts to me, but when I am gone for my job and she is really alone then that is my fear. That she will feel abandoned. Our son and daughter live in the same town as us, but have their own busy lives. Of couse they will come check on their mother, but mostly she will be alone until I get back. She will have problems even going to the therapist during my absence because I always take her and she would be too afraid of public transportation. I was thinking of asking her friend (the one I mentioned in the first statement here) to please try to make some time for my wife while I am gone and maybe to drive her to her appointments, but that is a big favor to ask of someone who has so many problems of their own. Her friend also has a job, so I am not sure if she will be able to take off time to drive her. To make matters worse, our next door neighbors that we have known for years have sold their house and are moving soon. There is going to be a "goodbye" party for them next weekend. I know that she is not up to talking to new neighbors right now and this is just one more thing I have to worry about while I am gone.
I am the sole support of our household, and I have no choice in the matter of going away on this trip. Thank you for your reply, and again I am sorry for your loss.