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Regular Member

Date Joined Feb 2005
Total Posts : 472
   Posted 8/21/2005 2:46 PM (GMT -6)   
Well, I know I will either get no replies or unfavorable ones. I am not speaking for myself, but I am for the newbees and the members who are crying out for help. Rosie and I have posted about this matter before and she made me fully understand why posts are not being replied to, however, if a member can post their own problems, what's wrong with just a few simple words to other members needing help. Once again I bring to the table that 100 posts can be viewed but only have 7-10 replies. Once again Rosie and I discussed this in saying that if a person doesn't know what to say, they don't say anything, ergo, why not just say, "I am thinking of you" or, "I will pray for you" or that you feel their pain. It only takes a few sentences to make a person feel like they aren't talking to themselves. As for members being "booted", I am not aware of that and if they were, it would have to be for a very good reason. I don't believe Rosie or Randy or even Mom would do that for something trivial. Every once in a while a member will "squeek" through here and "rain on our parade" and be obnoxious and inconsiderate. Then, boot them! As a member, we don't want anyone in the group to hamper anyone's recovery. I don't think we have "clique's" but there are some members that have been here a long time that do communicate with members more than others. I don't consider that territorial. What I have done is joined other boards or groups if I feel I am not getting the support I need. There is nothing wrong with that. I love every member on this board the same as others. I feel the pain for everyone the same. I know some are suffering more than others. I know the newbees need special attention more than others. All I am saying is that we need to be more aware of everyone on the board. It only takes a minute to post a few lines. It takes more time for a member who didn't get a post to hurt more than they do. 
Much love,
"Lefty" Sue    

Post Edited By Moderator (Admin) : 8/22/2005 9:41:28 AM (GMT-6)

Regular Member

Date Joined Jun 2005
Total Posts : 85
   Posted 8/21/2005 4:32 PM (GMT -6)   

While I have not spent much time here I am being treated for depression. I wanted to say I think you are bringing up a very valid point. Many times I think silence is a result of not knowing what to say. I think that is more the case than just wanting to ignore someone. You are right, it is better to simply wish someone well or let them know you are thinking of them than to say nothing at all.
droll  (AKA Dan)

Regular Member

Date Joined Aug 2004
Total Posts : 472
   Posted 8/22/2005 9:09 AM (GMT -6)   
I have to agree.
37, Married w/ four kids.
Had problems since age 13.
Dx'd with Crohn's in Spring of 1991.
Resection that December.
Long remission.
Had follow up surgery December of 2004.

Forum Administrator

Date Joined Jan 2003
Total Posts : 9634
   Posted 8/22/2005 10:44 AM (GMT -6)   
Thanks Lefty, I edited your title to make it a little less violent sounding.

Peter Waite, Founder/Editor - Community, Information, Resources
Help HealingWell help others, give today

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 8616
   Posted 8/23/2005 10:01 PM (GMT -6)   
Hey Lefty . . .

I hope you are having a good day today!

I wanted to respond to one line of your post where you say: "Once again I bring to the table that 100 posts can be viewed but only have 7-10 replies"

I hope you and others here understand that there are usually more guests here than members. If you look below, you can see how many members are here at any given time and how many Guests (or visitors). Right now I see 54 guests and 10 members. That would mean that 5 people read for every one person who can post.

In His Grip,
AlwaysRosie          "We can't control the waves, but we can learn to surf!"
Psalms 139
UCTD (Undifferentiated Connective Tissue Disease), Hashimoto's, Plantar Fasciitis, Inflamatory Arthritis, High BP, GI Inflamation, Diverticuloses
Plaquenil, Methotrexate, Folic Acid, Synthroid, RX Motrin, Lexapro, Amitriptelyne, Salagen, Lotrel (Centrum Silver, B12, B6, Calcium+D,)

Veteran Member

Date Joined Apr 2004
Total Posts : 2284
   Posted 8/24/2005 1:11 PM (GMT -6)   
I too might be cutting off a line of support on this topic but would really like to put it rest. Sometimes I don't have anything to add. Sometimes I am trying to deal with my depression in the best way that I can and am feeling fairly worthless and who would want to hear from a "loser" like me. Sometimes it is all I can do to get out of bed and face my world let alone feel guilty because I didn't respond to someone on the site.

I guess what I am trying to say is I look at all responses to my posts as heart felt gifts from those who are in a position to give a gift. In the same sense, when I do respond it is when I feel like I am in a position to give a heart felt gift and not running on emotional reserves or trying to give when the tank is empty. Look to what is given as a gift rather than more should be given.

We can respond to irritation with a smile instead of scowl, or by giving warm praise instead of icy indifference. By our being understanding instead of abrupt, others, in turn, may decide to hold on a little longer rather than to give way. Love, patience, and meekness can be just as contagious as rudeness and crudeness.
Please allow HealingWell to continue helping others by donating:

Post Edited (CheerDad (Randy)) : 8/24/2005 12:40:43 PM (GMT-6)

Regular Member

Date Joined Jun 2004
Total Posts : 199
   Posted 8/24/2005 4:33 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Randy,
how are you doing? I haven't posted for along time on the crohn's site, I started feeling like it was kinda clickish...Not with you necessarily, but with others. I lurk between here and crohn's, But I will start speaking out again in hopes that people really care. I was feeling like I was annoying people with all that is going on with me. I feel I need to be an example and reach out more. I have been exeriencing some depression as a result of the constant everyday every moment of this crappy disease Crohn's. I hope you are doing well. If your not I hoe you start to feel better soon. Just know many of us are in the same crumby boat... Take care... Donna

Regular Member

Date Joined Feb 2005
Total Posts : 472
   Posted 8/25/2005 3:04 PM (GMT -6)   

yeah  Thanks Rosie and Randy. I gottcha. I have to agree. You know Ilove this group and only want to feel loved and safe here. I think you all do that for me. I will try to me more diligent and leave this alone.



"Lefty" Sue

There is no such word as can't. Can't simply means wouln't. Grab as much as life as you can. Future is a long way away for those who don't believe. Don't build a foundation of life on sand. It will take it away with the tide. Love a little more, be unkind a lot less.

Nicky (coquitlam55)
Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 505
   Posted 8/25/2005 10:38 PM (GMT -6)   

:-)  Hello,

I posted here for the first time to tonight. I spend most of my time on the Migraine Forum and occassionally on the Chronic Pain Forum.

Depression is a scary thing, I realize now a lot of us on other forums have also been diagnosed with it. Sometimes we don't feel like talking about it and when we do have the strength to post we don't always have the energy to be criticized or take the embarassment of not being responded to.

I can appreciate how one might not want to discuss this a lot if it's been brought up before, but I think its important to discuss. Depression gets worse because depressed people lock themselves away, don't make contact and don't risk interpersonal relationships. We all know what it feels like to be depressed and hopefully the anonymity of the forum can allow us to keep contact with others. The forume can provide support without the anxiety involved in talking to people face to face and in return we can get support back.

I love the support I get on the Migraine Forum. I don't feel like I'm alone in my struggle. I can bounce ideas off other forum members and get support when I'm really suffering. I hope that the Depression Forum is the same.

Coquitlam55 (aka Nicky)
"The world is full of suffering, it is also full of overcoming it." --Helen Keller
I try and remember this each day I have a headache that I'm not sure I can overcome.

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