ADD W/DEPRESSION

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Leighanne
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2005
Total Posts : 22
   Posted 8/22/2005 6:11 AM (GMT -7)   
The older of my two daughters has ADD w/depression.  It's strange to see someone so intelligent be so disorganized.  She would do absolutely anything to help someone (at least away from home).  She is now 20 years old and we never have figured out how to help her keep from losing things.  She'll start out every school year with a good planner, a backpack with lots of pockets, and well-organized notebooks.  Within a week or two they're all turned upside down.  It's literally hard to open the door to her dorm room because of the things piled on the floor in front of it.  We've all gone to couseling with her for years and she has medicine that she rarely takes.  The depression seems to come into play mainly when things have gotten hoplessly lost, piled up, and past due.  It's like everything comes to a head and she feels like throwing up her hands and giving up.  She literally locks herself in her room and won't socialize.  She's on the verge of losing her college scholarship because she took a minimum wage job and works until 1:30 am and then can't get up for classes.  Also, she started hanging around with a couple who stay into trouble a lot.  I know she's 20 but I can't help but worry about her.  She sure won't listen to me --especially since she's gotten older.  I try not to say anything but it sure is hard to stand back and watch her learn every little thing the hard way.  Do any of you with ADD have any suggestions for me as a mother?  Do I just turn my back and let her self-destruct or can I actually help in any way?  She still lives at home when school is not in session and she makes a bigger mess than the rest of us put together.  It's not too bad when it remains behind her closed bedroom door, but it always ends up seeping throughout the rest of the house.  It is strange to me that she has little concern for personal hygiene as well.  She doesn't make enough money to move out and she'd certainly lose her scholarship if she picked up more hours at work.  This has been a 20 year struggle that I hoped we would have all outgrown by now.  If she would only take her meds.  sad     

JohnD
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2004
Total Posts : 472
   Posted 8/22/2005 7:25 AM (GMT -7)   
the job of parent is the most difficult job in the world. children without ADD are hard enough to deal with. I can't immagin the difficulties that come with a ADD child. i don't have the experance with ADD children, so i'm afraid i have no help to offer. we can't live lidfe for them. just be there to support them if or when they come to you.
take care,
JohnD
37, Married w/ four kids.
Had problems since age 13.
Dx'd with Crohn's in Spring of 1991.
Resection that December.
Long remission.
Had follow up surgery December of 2004.
 
 
 


Leighanne
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2005
Total Posts : 22
   Posted 8/22/2005 11:38 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks John. It is tough raising kids these days. I see you have 4 yourself. I hope they are all healthy and happy. By the way, my mom had a resection. Tough surgery--hope you're okay.
Leigh

JohnD
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2004
Total Posts : 472
   Posted 8/23/2005 5:19 AM (GMT -7)   
things are going ok for now. was put on amitriptyline a few days ago and it seems to be working to relieve the pain(which is why i had surgery last Dec.) i've been in for so long.
my kids aren't quite as old as yours. Mine are 16,13,6, &5. and a major hand full most of the time.
it really hard to know where to step in and where you need to let them find things out for themselves. wish there was some kind of handbook on how to raise kids that covered all questions. it's soooo confusing. if i had only known how difficult a job parenting is i migth have done without. well, probably not, but sometime i feel that way.guess we just need to take it moment by moment.
hope you are having a good day today.
37, Married w/ four kids.
Had problems since age 13.
Dx'd with Crohn's in Spring of 1991.
Resection that December.
Long remission.
Had follow up surgery December of 2004.
 
 
 

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