I know how you feel, I had an abortion 26 years ago,
I've come to terms with it now,but at the time I felt so
guilty and depressed, Please talk to your counciller, and
give yourself time to greave, and your partner too, you
can't turn the clock back, but you will feel better in time.
please keep in touch, Love and prayers from Shelby
I am so sorry to hear what you're going through.
You're right abortion is a very sensitive topic and please don't worry about what others think about it. Nobody has a right to shun you for what you choose to do. The law gives you the right to choose regardless of other people's opinions. Anyone with an ounce of human decency wouldn't shun you knowing that you are suffering even if they didn't agree with your decision.
I have heard of this and have heard that it is very real. I believe that it is similar to the feelings of any depression, hopelessness, sadness and despair. I often feel depressed because I feel like I made a "bad" decision. I have learned to tell myself that I made the best decision at that time, though I might make a different decision at a different time.
I suffer from chronic daily migraines and my husband is often frustrated because he can't fix them and doesn't understand them. I know it's not exactly the same, but it's similar. Our spouses don't want to see us suffer and feel even worse if they feel like they had a hand in our suffering. Keep telling him you love him and that you don't blame him and he'll understand eventually. You may also want to tell him that you don't need him to do anything except be there for you right now while you work through this.
I am so sorry for what you are going through. I have dealt with the same situation in a different manner. I had a son 10 years ago that I gave up for adoption. It was an open adoption, so I know where he is, and in the beginning it was a wonderful situation for us all. However, I married 8 and a half years ago, after getting pregnant out of wedlock AGAIN. At that time, the adoptive parents became angry with me because they were afraid of the feelings it might cause for "their" son, wondering why I gave him up and decided to keep my second son and get married. One very important detail there is that it was two very different men who fathered my each child. The first urged me to get an abortion, or just to stay away from him. My husband, on the other hand, was happy to be having a child. Though my marriage has worked out very well, my heart aches because I have lost contact with my first born, and who knows how he feels about me. I am a "pro-lifer", however, I don't ever want to hurt anyone who has had an abortion. The pain of dealing with that choice is more than a person should have to deal with. I am sure that no one makes a choice like that without heartache. God knows that there were many people in my life who saw me as cold and uncaring for placing my child with parents who could properly care for him in a way that I could not. And God also knows that of all the things I needed at that point in my life, what I did not need was someone else condemning me. That's how I feel about those who have abortions. I hope that you find the love and support you need on this web-site and in your life. I pray that God heals your heart and blesses you. He can make a bad situation turn out beautifully. The parents who took Daniel for me were nearing 40, after which you can no longer adopt through the agency I went with. They had been pregnant with a child of their own, and lost him. So Daniel needed them and they needed him, and maybe, if it's God's will, someday I will be able to explain my choices to him. Best of wishes and prayers for you and your boyfriend.
Hi and I am sorry -
I can honestly say that I have never had an abortion; however it appears that I did have a miscarriage a couple of weeks ago. What makes it even harder is that the person who is halfway responsible for this has decided not to talk to me anymore. For that matter he wont talk to anyone that I know anymore (which makes it harder on me as I don't want the people that I love to be hurt by my stupidity). Because that is what it was - stupidity. You know one of those feels great at the time but you know that this is not a relationship that will ever work.
I too am at a lost - heartbroken to be honest. Be thankful that you have the support that you do. I wish I did.
If I can help more then let me know.