This is all new to me

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VG
New Member


Date Joined Aug 2005
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 8/23/2005 8:14 AM (GMT -7)   
Hello all,
 
I am new to the site, as a matter of fact, I am new to all of this.  And up until early July my life was smooth sailing.  Then suddenly, my ship hit an iceberg.  I have been reading some of the other posts and feel that my personal afflictions don't even compare to hardships faced by others.  I know that I'm lucky, I know that I'm loved, I know a bright future is in front of me and yet, I feel sad.  Really sad.  Though it comes in spells, when it hits, it hits hard. 
 
This past April I packed up and relocated- new job and everything.  I was tired of the long distance relationship with my girlfriend so I made the move, leaving all of my family and friends behind.  I lived in a hotel the first six weeks I was down here, in mid June I moved in to her mom's house have been living with my girlfriend, her mom, her step-dad, and her brother who is home from college.  But our apartment opens up September 1 so that's something to look forward to.  All of this along with the new job, and being seperated from my friends who I have lived with, and hung out with pretty much every day for the past 8 years. 
 
I thought my transition was going well until early July when I had, what was ultimately diagnosed as a panic attack.  Athough I wasn't doing anything stressful, or thinking about anything in particular- it just hit me.  I couldn't breathe, I was in a cold sweat, dehydrated, light headed, and had an overwhelming feeling that I was going to burst in to tears.  That day was also the last time that I had any tobacco/nicotine or soda in my system.  But more importantly that day is when my spells began.  Sometimes I feel sad, I feel alone.  My girlfriend is busy with work and sometimes feel like I don't have anyone to back me up.  I have a seperation complex.  I get sad, overwhelmingly sad.  I get apprehensive.  I feel alone.
 
Someone once told me that "change is good".  I just don't know why I am having such a tough time with it.  I want my life back, and I need some perspective.  This is the first step I have taken for seeking outside advice on my situation- I look forward to your thoughts.  Thanks!     

JohnD
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2004
Total Posts : 472
   Posted 8/23/2005 8:46 AM (GMT -7)   
VG,
hi and welcome.
i know it's not easy to tell someone about these things. most peoples reaction is to say "just get over it" nope, sorry that just doesn't happen.the moving to a new town, getting a new job, and quiting tobacco/nicotine or soda all at the same time is a big deal. any one of those things would be enough to throw anybody much less all three. so don't be hard on yourself. o and the "overwhelming feeling that I was going to burst in to tears" is part of the whole anxiety thing. i get it too. for me, i was perscribed Buspar(sp?) twice a day. and wellbutrin XL. together they've helped alot. you might want to see someone for help if these panic attacks presist. they are trained to help. it's not any fun feeling the way you do, i know. i hope things get better for you soon.
JohnD
37, Married w/ four kids.
Had problems since age 13.
Dx'd with Crohn's in Spring of 1991.
Resection that December.
Long remission.
Had follow up surgery December of 2004.
 
 
 


VG
New Member


Date Joined Aug 2005
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 8/23/2005 11:11 AM (GMT -7)   
Thank you, I just can't seem to beat the blues today. I don't know what will make me happy. I was doing better, then last night, out of nowhere, it just hit me like a ton of bricks. I am sitting at work just sad about nothing in particular.

JohnD
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2004
Total Posts : 472
   Posted 8/23/2005 1:38 PM (GMT -7)   
i find the more i think about it the worse and longer it lasts. i try to keep myself occupied. just to keep my mind busy on other things. not too hard here at the house since i have 4 kids, but late at night, car rides, or when it's just quiet it drives me nuts sometimes. I hope there is at least something good that happens for you today.........sometimes i just ONE thing to go right to make the whole day better. sometimes it feels like the world is falling apart all around me and there's nothing i can do to stop it which it seem so overwhelming.sometimes it helps to only focuse on the task at hand and not the big picture.
 
i need to go, but before i do, I hope things get better today. maybe do something nice with your Girlfriend today after work. catch a movie or dinner....just some one on one time or something. just to give you something to look forward to.it's always good to have something nice to look forward to.


37, Married w/ four kids.
Had problems since age 13.
Dx'd with Crohn's in Spring of 1991.
Resection that December.
Long remission.
Had follow up surgery December of 2004.
 
 
 

Post Edited (JohnD) : 8/24/2005 6:11:04 AM (GMT-6)


Dee75
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 247
   Posted 8/23/2005 7:23 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi and welcome!
You've made a lot of moves all at once. That can cause anxiety and depression. I think if you would talk with a doctor about your feelings it would help. He might want to recommend some medication that would be of help.
Hope you find an answer. Dee

AlwaysRosie
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 8616
   Posted 8/23/2005 8:10 PM (GMT -7)   
Welcome to the forum VG!!

John gave you some great advice and it would be a great idea if you scheduled a doctor visit to talk about all this.

I hope this will be a short term bump in the road!!

Blessings!
In His Grip,
AlwaysRosie          "We can't control the waves, but we can learn to surf!"
Psalms 139
UCTD (Undifferentiated Connective Tissue Disease), Hashimoto's, Plantar Fasciitis, Inflamatory Arthritis, High BP, GI Inflamation, Diverticuloses
Plaquenil, Methotrexate, Folic Acid, Synthroid, RX Motrin, Lexapro, Amitriptelyne, Salagen, Lotrel (Centrum Silver, B12, B6, Calcium+D,)


Having2LeftFeet
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2005
Total Posts : 472
   Posted 8/24/2005 4:32 AM (GMT -7)   
:-)  Hi, VG and welcome to the group. I know that when you are going through is overwhelming and will take some getting used to. Perhaps it is just the matter of living withn your girlfriend's family that is causing you there feelings and to add to that, you left your "comfort zone" and now have to befriend a new one. That is very hard, believe me, I can relate. A panic attack isn't that uncommon and I do think you should see a physician. They can help you with that. You have to ask yourself what is making you sad or depressed and how you can overcome it if you can at all. Like I sad, you are living outside your environment. Could you be having second thoughts about your personal life and new job? Meditate. I do and it helps. I try to dismiss the negative and sometimes ot works.
 
Case in point. I am  55, a wife, daughter, mother, grandmother, aunt, sister and sister-in-law and daughter-in-law. I left my entire family, all 25 of them back in Florida after living there for 32 years. I am now living in Vermont and the reason we moved is that my husband had a very good job offer and we felt it was time to move on. We had some issues there and that was as good a time as any. I don't work because I have Lupus. I drove since I was 15 and now I don't drive because I have epilepsy and my husband takes me everywhere which is a pain for him even though he doesn't say anything. I schedule my appointments around his schedule as to ot infringe on his work. I miss seeing my grandchildren grow, even though I have been back to visit 3 times, all for 3 weeks. I have 3 grandchildren who don't really know me because they are too little. They are 8,6,4,2,1, 2 by my oldest daughter and 3 by my youngest, ages 34 and 32. I miss my mom who is 84 yrs ols and lives alone even though my 3 sisters keep a close eye on her. She gets around better than I do and she still drives. I have no means of transportation as I live in the mountains and it is beautiful here. I will have been here 4 yrs in Nov. I am used to it now even though I long for my family. It was our choice to make and we made it. It was the best thing we did. Jacksonville Florida has gone to the dogs. All the polution and noise and road rage I couldn't stand it anymore. My daughters have their own families now and so do the others. 
 
It is going to take time for you to adjust but you still have to ask yourself the questions that I mentioned above. I hope you will find comfort here, as I know I have.
 
God bless!
 
"Lefty"    
There is no such word as can't. Can't simply means wouln't. Grab as much as life as you can. Future is a long way away for those who don't believe. Don't build a foundation of life on sand. It will take it away with the tide. Love a little more, be unkind a lot less.


CheerDad
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2004
Total Posts : 2284
   Posted 8/24/2005 11:15 AM (GMT -7)   
Adding my welcome and reassurance that you are not alone. Life changes can be dramatic to our emotions and you are going through several of the all at the same time. It is great that you are reaching out for help, the first step in finding yourself again. I know that I will travel in whichever direction I face. I sounds like you are beginning to turn and face back to the light. Keep working at it and know that as you do, the darkness will decrease and slowly things will change for the good.
We can respond to irritation with a smile instead of scowl, or by giving warm praise instead of icy indifference. By our being understanding instead of abrupt, others, in turn, may decide to hold on a little longer rather than to give way. Love, patience, and meekness can be just as contagious as rudeness and crudeness.
 
Randy
 
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