Post Edited (Aljosangels) : 9/5/2005 2:41:26 PM (GMT-6)
When I was at the worst of my depression I felt numb and void of emotion. It wasn't a result of my medications.
Everything that you're feeling is typical of depression. You'll find many of us also suffer from chronic pain. It's hard to be in pain all the time and not be depressed. I suffer from chronic daily migraines.
I found a psychologist that specialized in chronic pain and depression. She taught me some relaxation exercises that helped me reduce the pain and some cognitive behavioural techniques to change the things I tell myself so that they're more positive.
Keep perservering. You can overcome this.
I have had a chronic illness since I was 5 and I am 45 almost 46 now. Much of what I have gone through these past 2 years is uncovering the unreleased anger or more like unhealthy release of anger related to me suppressing my feelings associated with living with a chronic illness. Therapy is a great place to start. It was there that I started realizing that I never faced the issues of my illness. As you open up and develop a spirit of trust with you therapist, that is when the real healing begins. If that doesn't happen with this therapist, don't be afraid to try a different one. I went through 3 before I found one I felt I could open up and reveal all the "ugly" parts of me I have hidden from the world and myself for all these years. God bless you as you start this journey. It is a difficult path, but well worth the travel.