Walking the thin line

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Regular Member

Date Joined Aug 2005
Total Posts : 43
   Posted 9/6/2005 7:39 PM (GMT -6)   
I am so glad that my dr. appt is tomorrow.  Maybe if she starts me on meds tomorrow than in a month I will be feeling much better.  Today I feel as if I am a burden to everyone and that no one cares if I'm here or not.  Having problems with the neighbors, and the kids keep asking the hard questions, "Why can't we play with their kids?"  ect, ect.  I am so tired of fighting the good fight.  I look at the people on this board and they are dealing with much worse problems than mine, yet I can't seem to get my head out of my butt and act like a normal person.  WHY????  I am so sorry that I just whine and complain all the time.  But I want to go somewhere warm and quiet and curl up in a ball and just sleep it all away.  Meanwhile, I am sleeping away the lives of my beautiful children that mean so much to me.  Why, when they are my everything, do I find it so easy to neglect them?  Why can't I just get up and do it for them?  Because I am worthless.  That's the only explanation I can come up with.
Just needed to vent.  I hope that doc can get me on the road to recovery so that I can begin to be a help to my family and others on this board instead of always being the one to reach out, crying.  Thank you for listening.
God bless.

Nicky (coquitlam55)
Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 505
   Posted 9/6/2005 11:43 PM (GMT -6)   


Stick with it and do your best to keep your chin up. You will make it through. Don't forget to take care of yourself. How about a warm bath? Or a nice cup of tea?

Good luck!

Coquitlam55 (aka Nicky)
"The world is full of suffering, it is also full of overcoming it." --Helen Keller
I try and remember this each day I have a headache that I'm not sure I can overcome.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 8616
   Posted 9/9/2005 12:59 AM (GMT -6)   

With children, sometimes the task of parent feels overwhelming. It is overwhelming if you think of it all at once. But, if you break things down and just take care of one thing at a time, it might help.

I have raised four children (all adults now) in spite of chronic illness and depression. I found that I had to let some things go. I evaluate each task to see how best to use my limited energy. I ALWAYS take care of chores that stack up (dishes, laundry, keeping things picked up). The chores that can wait are vacuuming, dusting, and floor washing. By using my energy wisely I can usually make it through the tough times. The kids were always pretty good at pitching in as well. I just had to make sure that I was pleasant when I assigned the chores.

Parenting is a tough job even without illness or depression. Keep trying sis . . . every little bit helps.

In His Grip,
AlwaysRosie          "We can't control the waves, but we can learn to surf!"
Psalms 139
UCTD (Undifferentiated Connective Tissue Disease), Hashimoto's, Plantar Fasciitis, Inflamatory Arthritis, High BP, GI Inflamation, Diverticuloses
Plaquenil, Methotrexate, Folic Acid, Synthroid, RX Motrin, Lexapro, Amitriptelyne, Salagen, Lotrel (Centrum Silver, B12, B6, Calcium+D,)

Regular Member

Date Joined Aug 2005
Total Posts : 43
   Posted 9/9/2005 9:05 AM (GMT -6)   
Thank you guys for the kind words and advice.  Just thought I would let you know that doc put me on Lamictal, a mood stabilizer (also a drug for seziures).  I have only been on it for two days, and am at a tiny does as it is something that you have to increase VERY slowly.  All I've noticed as of yet is side effects.  One being that I am tired and the other being that I am having weird sleeping fits with vivid / strange dreams.  But I am willing to stick it out for a couple of months.  Doc said I wouldn't see a real difference for about 5 weeks when I started my third dose increase.  So, please continue to bear with me for just a bit longer.  Hopefully before long I will be feeling differenly and better!  Anyway, thanks again for reaching out to me.  God bless!
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