I need help. I can't do this much longer...

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damwinston
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2005
Total Posts : 122
   Posted 10/8/2005 3:08 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi all -
I am sorry to dump this all on you but I don't know where else to turn. First, I apologize if this turns into a book but it is a long story. I was dating this boy for 6 years who I loved and still love very much but we were not right for each other. So at 29 I moved back home. Then I starting casually dating this other guy. The one who I knew was a bad idea at the time but it was fun so I did it anyway. He kind of "ran away" for a while to "take care of some stuff" but came back. While he was gone I noticed that I was not having my period. I took a test and it came back negative (GOOD).
Then he and I went to his home town (about 4 hours away) in August and came back on the 19th (I remember because I had a seizure that day). That was the last that I saw of him. 2 days later I went to my OBGYN and asked for tests and everything and he said that he thought that I had a miscarriage. I don't think that he (the father that is) believes me but whether he does or not is immaterial because he has not supported me at all through the entire thing. So I am grieving. Deeply - but not for the guy. I grieve for my ex-boyfriend because he and I are barely friends and for the entire miscarriage thing (which I knew was happening at the time). And I grive because my parents are 85 and 66 and that might have been my final chance for them to see me with a child.
Then there is the money issue. I loaned my credit card to a mutual friend (a guy that lives in my backyard) and the two of them ran up $1600.
I don't want this guy back in my life. But I do want my money. I have no job (seizures), have been denied by disability because I don't have enough credits and, of course, I am too wealthy to get SSI. So it is not like I can afford $1600.
So here is what I want (and if you could please provide it I would SOOOO much appreciate it :-) ) j/k:
I want my money back from this guy. Yes I know just leave it (know when to hold them, know when to fold them, know when to walk away and know when to run) but I need the money and now, of course, I can't find him. He won't answer phone calls.
He thinks that I have betrayed him when I actually stood up for him!!
I want my reputation restored because it has been run through the mud by everyone - his people.
I want a job. I can't go anywhere so it has to be from home but I don't know how to go about it - any ideas??
Does anyone have a work at home job that is actually real??
Please help me. I have got to get some money and some piece of mind or I will lose whatever I have left of my mind.
Please help.
Please help. Mainly the money thing - I will get over this whole miscarriage thing - alone I guess - but I will survive (but I should have changed the locks and made you leave the key if I had known for just one second you'd be back to bother me).
Please reply - my email is damayer@airmail.net but please put HW in the subject or I will just delete it.
Thank you my dear friends.
Thank you so much in advance for your help.
love and desperatly hoping,
dammy


Thanks for listening.
If I can do anything to help you please let me know.
 
"Someone's opinion of you doesn't have to become your reality."
 
"May those who love us, love us And those that don't love us, May God turn their hearts; And if he doesn't turn their hearts May he turn their ankles So we will know them by their limping"

Post Edited (damwinston) : 10/8/2005 4:12:00 PM (GMT-6)


sadsunshine
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 398
   Posted 10/8/2005 3:25 PM (GMT -7)   
Oh Dammy,
I am so sorry that things are going so badly for you . . .
As far as working from home, I wish I knew. There are things like medical transcribing and court transcribing but you have to pay for the courses. What about taking phone orders from a catalog company (Lillian Vernon is in our area and they are always hiring.) It wouldn't be from home but it sounds like low stress and sitting down. I can't tell you to put the pain in the past where it belongs. You know that and you will when you can. Keep the faith, keep sharing.
Let us know how you are doing . . .

Peace,
Sadsunshine

damwinston
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2005
Total Posts : 122
   Posted 10/8/2005 3:39 PM (GMT -7)   
thankks sadsunshine
Thanks for listening.
If I can do anything to help you please let me know.
 
"Someone's opinion of you doesn't have to become your reality."
 
"May those who love us, love us And those that don't love us, May God turn their hearts; And if he doesn't turn their hearts May he turn their ankles So we will know them by their limping"


damwinston
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2005
Total Posts : 122
   Posted 10/8/2005 5:44 PM (GMT -7)   
I live in Texas in the Dallas/Fort Worth area so if anyone knows of anything there then PLEASE let me know!!
thanks so much,
dammy
Thanks for listening.
If I can do anything to help you please let me know.
 
"Someone's opinion of you doesn't have to become your reality."
 
"May those who love us, love us And those that don't love us, May God turn their hearts; And if he doesn't turn their hearts May he turn their ankles So we will know them by their limping"


bevhea
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2005
Total Posts : 240
   Posted 10/8/2005 8:44 PM (GMT -7)   
I'm 62 and the mother of a 27 year old.  I'm going to respond to some of what you said as I would to my daughter. 
 
First forget the money.  It sounds like a lot and paying it off will seem like it.  Consider the payment your monthly reminder to be more careful.  Call the company, explain what happen, your situation and ask for reduced or no interest.  They will probably want a letter from your doctor.
 
Next know that while your parents would love to have a grandchild, they also want you to be as near as possible a perfect parent.  It may be your child, but as grandparents, they are going to want better for the child than they were able to do for you.  Right now you are dealing with a lot of emotional pain from relationships.  On top of that you're dealing with having seizures (maybe not medicated quite right yet), and finding some sort of work. 
 
That's a lot on your plate.  If I were prioritizing, seizures and job would first--and let all the rest wait. 
 
So that's what I would tell my daughter.
 
Now about the job. 
 
First call unemployment and ask for phone numbers for a displaced homemaker or handicap programs that will/may test and re-train you.  Counselors at either should be able to help fit the training program to your needs and cabilities. 
 
Right a good resume.  There are places you can pay, but save the money.  Secretary/typists can help with resume formats, wording and proofing.  Teachers can help with wording and proofing.  There are articles and even free resume makers on the internet.
 
I would suggest that in "Objectives" you state that you are looking for work Dallas/Fort Worth area and that you have seizures so you are looking for work you can do at home--or a job, which can supply transportation.
 
Now you really want to think hard about who to send it too.  First put it on the internet.  People ARE being hired off the internet.  The Federal government has requirements for hiring females and the handicapped.  It also has lots of jobs where you respond to phone requests for information for very good pay.  You would probably have to go somewhere for training, but that would be of limited duration.
 
So the number one place to look is federal, state, and local government offices, which have a need to respond to phone requests.  If there is a nearby military base--send it to them.  Next think about places that receive federal funds--you are in oil country, and odds are the oil companies and many others have federal hiring requirements to meet.
 
You are seeking employers who have a reason for specifically wanting to hire someone who fits in government guidelines.  The federal government may offset your salary for the employer and provide extra funding to assist with company adaptations, made to fit your needs.  
 
There should be an office or agency called "Man Power" or something like that.  They supply people for temporary employment.  In a town as big as you are in they may have temporary jobs you can do at home.
 
Good luck
 
bev

DeAnn S
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2005
Total Posts : 321
   Posted 10/8/2005 9:18 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Dammy,

My name is DeAnn and I am the co-moderator at the Chronic Pain forum.

I am so sorry you are going through so much. At times life doesn't seem fair and I know it seems as if you will never find a solution to your problems, but you will! This I promise! Although, I'm not from this forum, I, too, have suffered from depression, and if you ever need someone to talk to, please feel free to email me! You can click on the little envelope below my name or go to my profile to get my email address. I do the same as you do--please put HW in the subject line or I will delete it as well.

I have contacted a friend of mine who has worked for "At Home Businesses", and I have a website address for you:

The "Work at Home Agent" website is: www.workathomeagent.com They hire individuals who can take telephone calls to place orders. You have seen commercials about different "Only On TV" products and you have to dial a 1-800 number--this company handles the phone calls. You do not have to get a new phone line or anything like that. You pick your own shifts by accessing the website and looking at all the times they have available. She said there are hundreds of times available and they are in half hour incruments. When it is your shift, you log into the site and their company database comes up on your computer. When your phone rings you will be able to tell if it is a call for work you answer the phone, read the script, take the order. She said it is very easy to do, with little training. She said when you register it either asks on the form or when they call you whether or not you have DSL or Cable internet service. Tell them yes. She said she has a dial up modem and told them she had the other and can still access it just fine. When you go to the site, scroll down to the bottom of the page and click on the "register" link and complete the registration. They are in desperate need of agents. She loves it and said the money isn't bad at all.

I hope that helps you, Dammy!

Good luck and remember, I'm here for you!
Lots of gentle hugs!
                           
Your friend~De Ann
Chronic Pain Forum, Co-Moderator
 
PS.  Please always feel free to email me!
 
"Chronic pain is a thief. It breaks into your body and robs you blind. With lightning fingers, it can take away your livelihood, your marriage, your friends, your favorite pastimes and big chunks of your personality. Left unapprehended, it will steal your days and your nights until the worlds has collapsed into a cramped cell of suffering." 
 (Claudia Wallis, TIME magazine)
You are not alone-continue to get the support you need at
your Chronic Pain forum!                 
 
Diagnosed 2001- After shattering spine
Severe Degenerative Disk Disease (DDD)**Spinal Stenosis**Acute Myopathy
**Spinal Compression**Fibromyalgia**Failed Back Syndrome**Neuropathy
**9 major back surgeries, including 2 spinal reconstructive surgeries
**Medtronic Morphine Pump implant
**Numerous oral medications for break through pain, nerve pain, depression & anxiety 
Help Healing Well to continue helping others!  Make a donation at


damwinston
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2005
Total Posts : 122
   Posted 10/9/2005 4:27 AM (GMT -7)   
Thank you all for your help but BUMP!!!
Thanks for listening.
If I can do anything to help you please let me know.
 
"Someone's opinion of you doesn't have to become your reality."
 
"May those who love us, love us And those that don't love us, May God turn their hearts; And if he doesn't turn their hearts May he turn their ankles So we will know them by their limping"


damwinston
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2005
Total Posts : 122
   Posted 10/9/2005 10:49 AM (GMT -7)   
DeAnn and all -
Thanks. Much of my problem is that I am very depressed and just started a new seizure medication (Keppra) which makes me sound like I am on drugs all of the time. I was hoping for a job that I could type or something like that. Any other ideas?? But thank you SOO much for your wonderful suggestions.
love,
dammy
Thanks for listening.
If I can do anything to help you please let me know.
 
"Someone's opinion of you doesn't have to become your reality."
 
"May those who love us, love us And those that don't love us, May God turn their hearts; And if he doesn't turn their hearts May he turn their ankles So we will know them by their limping"


joygrisham
New Member


Date Joined Sep 2005
Total Posts : 14
   Posted 10/9/2005 1:19 PM (GMT -7)   
How about looking into being a mystery shopper? I know there are some companies you can find out about online. And, you can check their credentials with the better business bureau. It might not bring in all the money you need to live, but maybe you could supplement with something else.

I'm sorry you are having such a bad time. I'm glad you have a place to come to discuss it.

DeAnn S
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2005
Total Posts : 321
   Posted 10/9/2005 6:04 PM (GMT -7)   
Jennifer,

That is a wonderful idea! I bet they can help!
Lots of gentle hugs!
                           
Your friend~De Ann
Chronic Pain Forum, Co-Moderator
 
PS.  Please always feel free to email me!
 
"Chronic pain is a thief. It breaks into your body and robs you blind. With lightning fingers, it can take away your livelihood, your marriage, your friends, your favorite pastimes and big chunks of your personality. Left unapprehended, it will steal your days and your nights until the worlds has collapsed into a cramped cell of suffering." 
 (Claudia Wallis, TIME magazine)
You are not alone-continue to get the support you need at
your Chronic Pain forum!                 
 
Diagnosed 2001- After shattering spine
Severe Degenerative Disk Disease (DDD)**Spinal Stenosis**Acute Myopathy
**Spinal Compression**Fibromyalgia**Failed Back Syndrome**Neuropathy
**9 major back surgeries, including 2 spinal reconstructive surgeries
**Medtronic Morphine Pump implant
**Numerous oral medications for break through pain, nerve pain, depression & anxiety 
Help Healing Well to continue helping others!  Make a donation at


damwinston
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2005
Total Posts : 122
   Posted 10/9/2005 6:33 PM (GMT -7)   
DeAnn _
I went to that website and was turned down. Figures. Joy about being a mystery shopper I have some sort of seizure disorder and am unable to drive. I just don't know what to do anymore.
HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
dammy
Thanks for listening.
If I can do anything to help you please let me know.
 
"Someone's opinion of you doesn't have to become your reality."
 
"May those who love us, love us And those that don't love us, May God turn their hearts; And if he doesn't turn their hearts May he turn their ankles So we will know them by their limping"


CheerDad
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2004
Total Posts : 2284
   Posted 10/10/2005 8:14 AM (GMT -7)   
Just letting you know that I was thinking of you and wishing you a quick recovery form all the storms in your life right now.
We can respond to irritation with a smile instead of scowl, or by giving warm praise instead of icy indifference. By our being understanding instead of abrupt, others, in turn, may decide to hold on a little longer rather than to give way. Love, patience, and meekness can be just as contagious as rudeness and crudeness.
 
Randy
 
Please allow HealingWell to continue helping others by donating: http://www.healingwell.com/donate/


damwinston
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2005
Total Posts : 122
   Posted 10/10/2005 11:58 AM (GMT -7)   
thanks randy.
i appreciate you all thinking of me.
dammy
Thanks for listening.
If I can do anything to help you please let me know.
 
"Someone's opinion of you doesn't have to become your reality."
 
"May those who love us, love us And those that don't love us, May God turn their hearts; And if he doesn't turn their hearts May he turn their ankles So we will know them by their limping"

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