my turn to feel frustrated, angry, and fed up

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Annieoakley
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2004
Total Posts : 310
   Posted 10/18/2005 8:52 AM (GMT -7)   
Yesterday was not a good day...well the morning was o.k. but the afternoon I felt mad and angry and I have no clue what put me in that mood, it just comes on out of the blue. so I didn't want to talk to anyone...not even my husband, but now he's mad at me because of my mood yesterday and now we are barely talking to each other and that tension really takes a toll on me and puts me into a worser mood, I told him I could not help the way I feel..and he said anybody can control their feelings and help themselves if they really wanted to, I cannot believe he said this to me, I thought he understood my illness and what I go thru and have to fight with each and every single day. I am so peed of with him that I just want to leave and not come back and just deal this all by myself because it seems like I am the only one that understands myself. I'm sorry to vent like this but if I didn't get it out I am sure I would go into a full blown panic attack and deep depression.
Annie
 

Fibromyaligia, dx Oct 2004 but we are sure I have had this for about 4-5 yrs maybe longer.
Chronic fatigue Syndrome dx 1995
Anxiety/Panic attacks dx 1990
M.S. dx June 29th 2005
Anemia dx Jan 2005

Meds: Amitriptyline
Lorazepam
Celexa
Ferrous Glouconate
Ibuprofen 600mg
and soon to start on
Rebif or Avenox

CheerDad
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2004
Total Posts : 2284
   Posted 10/18/2005 9:35 AM (GMT -7)   
Dealing with a crohnic illness can bring anger out of the blue and I sure wish that I could just snap out of it. While it is true that we can help ourselves to some dgree, we can not just snapout of it or control our feelings. Believe me, I tried this for 40 years and got no where with it. In fact it just made things more difficult in the long run. Stuffing my feelings only made the burdens heavier because I had no place safe to leave them. Talk to your husband about how he can help you cope with this illness rather than how it affects him. Also give him a break too. Everyone has bad days and maybe he was having one too. Good luck and hang in there.
We can respond to irritation with a smile instead of scowl, or by giving warm praise instead of icy indifference. By our being understanding instead of abrupt, others, in turn, may decide to hold on a little longer rather than to give way. Love, patience, and meekness can be just as contagious as rudeness and crudeness.
 
Randy
 
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misylit
New Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 10/30/2005 12:32 PM (GMT -7)   

Annie,

I feel for you.  Sometimes you feel so overwhelmed you don't know how to act.  And on top of everything else, you have anemia.  I suffer from that myself.  Well, I guess I'm fumbling for words but want to say I'm here for you and on your side. 

 


sadsunshine
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 398
   Posted 10/30/2005 12:39 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Annie,
I'm sorry your husband was insensitive. Just when we think they have figured us out . . .

When you are feeling better, try to talk to him about how you feel, about how his reactions make you feel.

Anyway, why do we always apologize for venting? That's why we're here friend.

Take care . . .

Sasunshine

beyondblue
New Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 6
   Posted 10/30/2005 12:41 PM (GMT -7)   
Annie, your husbands response to your mood sounds soooo familiar my boyfriend has said those same words to me. Truly as much as anyone tries to understand what you are going thru, no one can imagine how you suffer. I can say I'm sorry and wish you well.

Rianna
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2005
Total Posts : 366
   Posted 10/31/2005 5:53 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Annie,

I am sorry to hear you are going through this. I know all too well the tension that comes from arguing. It's just awful. Sometimes I couldn't take the stress any more, and I would go and stay in hotels, when I got tired of sleeping on the couch, or he was sleeping on the couch. The silence in the mornings was awful. I think this is why I am still single, because being chronically depressed and overwhelmed - coping with this illness, along with living with someone who cannot and refuses to be compassionate and understand depression is too much for me. I would give him things to read about clinical depression and asked him to go to therapy once with me and he said he wouldn't. He told me that I chose to be depressed and that either I could think positive or negative, and that I chose to think negative, therefore, contributing to my depression. It is hard - I wish I knew of some answers, but just wanted to say that I understand what you are going through.

Nicky (coquitlam55)
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 505
   Posted 11/1/2005 1:01 PM (GMT -7)   

Hi Annie,

I'm sorry to hear how frustrated your husband got. I know his comments seem insensitve and aimed at you, I suspect they are aimed at your illness.

I suffer from chronic migraines and depression and my husband often gets frustrated. Through talking, when we're not arguing, we've been able to join forces and be frustrated together at my illnesses rather than each other. When I'm not feeling well I tell him and he goes through with me why I am not feeling well, what's triggering my headache, why am I feeling down. And he helps me look at things rationally and when things don't make sense we both agree and get frustrated together at my diseases.

Good luck! :-)


Nicky
 
Fall seven times, stand up eight.
                 --Japanese proverb


Annieoakley
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2004
Total Posts : 310
   Posted 11/1/2005 1:50 PM (GMT -7)   
thanks you all, your words all mean alot to me. I have been trying to talk to my husband when I feel something coming on, or if I seem short with him or a little edgy with the boys he'll ask me if I am o.k. or if I am in one of my moods or he'll even say why don't you go lie down I'll take care of the kids. so once I am by myself for a while I can find myself calming down or feeling just a smidge better. take care all.
Annie

Fibromyaligia, dx Oct 2004 but we are sure I have had this for about 4-5 yrs maybe longer.
Chronic fatigue Syndrome dx 1995
Anxiety/Panic attacks dx 1990
M.S. dx June 29th 2005
Anemia dx Jan 2005
Depression..lets just say for a while now.

Meds: Amitriptyline
Lorazepam
Celexa
Ferrous Glouconate
Ibuprofen 600mg
and soon to start on
Rebif or Avenox

sadsunshine
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 398
   Posted 11/1/2005 3:21 PM (GMT -7)   
I'm glad you're working through it and feeling better.
I have really found my husband trying harder especially since we are talking about it more.

Keep those lines of communication open . . .

Glad you're "back"!!

Sadsunshine
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