i feel so alone

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Keli927
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 122
   Posted 11/1/2005 8:32 PM (GMT -7)   
I am so depressed. I just got married 2 months ago and I think it was a big mistake. We've always had issues but we always managed to get past it. But we've never lived together before and I hate it. We fight constantly. We're also remodeling our house so we are constantly fighting about that. We're both stubborn. I will give in a lot of the time but he never does. Also now that we live together all he does is nag at me about stuff. He makes comments about what I eat. He makes comments if I lay around one night and watch TV. We fight over the TV (cause we only have one). He makes comments about dinner and cleaning and everything else because he grew up with a mother who stayed home and did everything and the man does nothing. I knew all this going in but I htought it would be different. He just told me that he hates living with me and that he can't wait till he starts this other job so he'll never be home. I wish I could just curl up and die. I feel like I have no one. I can't live like this anymore. Newlyweds are supposed to be happy. But we like hate each other. I can't take the fighting anymore. I just want to go home to the home I had before we got married. I don't want to be here anymore either. I feel like I don't belong here. He hates me. I always knew he did. I just wanted someone to love me.

AlwaysRosie
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 8616
   Posted 11/1/2005 8:54 PM (GMT -7)   
Sorry sis . . . sometimes newlyweds have huge adjustments to make.

My marriage is 26 years young and in our first few months, I had horible thoughts that we made a mistake too. SO many things to adjust to!!

At one point, I made a list of things that I thought were important to him . . . something like this:

clean house
clean clothes
yummy dinner
sex
time with each other
time with friends
beautiful hair and makeup (on me)

etc. etc. . . . Then I gave him the list and asked him to please prioritize it so that I might know what, exactly I should be worrying about first. He never did prioritize that list . . . I think he realized that it was a tall order to throw the whole thing at a spouse all at once.

Eventually, we came to know what really were each other's priorities and we worked hard to provide those things for each other.

Don't be too hard on yourself or him . . . just make sure you keep communicating with him and remember to have fun. Sometimes its just the spirit of things that is off.

BTW . . . we REALLY enjoy each other after many years of trying to make things work. It was really worth all the effort we put into it.

I hope things become more manageable for you sis . . . if you know you are depressed make sure to get some help. It turned out that I really do need a bit of rx meds. Its not a bad thing unless you just do nothing to try to fix it.

Keep us posted!!

Blessings!
In His Grip,
AlwaysRosie          "We can't control the waves, but we can learn to surf!"
Psalms 139
UCTD (Undifferentiated Connective Tissue Disease), Hashimoto's, Plantar Fasciitis, Inflamatory Arthritis, High BP, GI Inflamation, Diverticuloses
Plaquenil, Methotrexate, Folic Acid, Synthroid, RX Motrin, Lexapro, Amitriptelyne, Salagen, Lotrel (Centrum Silver, B12, B6, Calcium+D,)


CheerDad
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2004
Total Posts : 2284
   Posted 11/1/2005 9:13 PM (GMT -7)   
being newlyweds along with remolding can be very difficult. Hang in there and don't give up.
We can respond to irritation with a smile instead of scowl, or by giving warm praise instead of icy indifference. By our being understanding instead of abrupt, others, in turn, may decide to hold on a little longer rather than to give way. Love, patience, and meekness can be just as contagious as rudeness and crudeness.
 
Randy
 
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Keli927
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 122
   Posted 11/2/2005 7:09 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks for the support you guys. I feel a little bit better today but I am still a little sad. And worried. I hope it does get better. I can't take the fights every day. I like your list idea Rosie. I think I will try it out and see what happens.

Thanks again everyone!
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