Erica, it really seems that you are sufferring. I'm so sorry about your cat. Thats such a difficult thing to do.
Don't try to conquer this alone. Get some help. If you have insurance, go see a psychiatrist and get on some depression meds. If you can't afford that option, look for free counceling. Churches sometimes have volunteer councelors who will see you for free. Find a depression support group. You should not be alone when you are feeling this way. All that sleeping you are doing is a major symptom of depression. Are you having any suicidal thoughts? Even if you really would never consider suicide, you may be having suicidal ideations and those are another sign that you need help getting out of the depression. You shouldn't have to live like this when there is help available. All you have to do is ask for it. You are not a loser. You have lots of company. Depression is a disease just like any other.
If you were diabetic, would you deny yourself insulin? Surely not. So don't deny yourself help for the depression. You are entitled to it and deserve it.
The boyfriend obviously doesn't have a clue. Don't rely on him for support, it doesn't sound like he's got it in him. Take the bull by the horns and do what you need to do.
I'm so sorry to hear about your cat. I certainly understand it as my dog is 14 and I know it won't be long. Feeling sad about your cat is natural. I would wonder about you if you weren't sad.
Something for you to consider - the next 5 years don't have to be like the last five years. You can't change your destination over night, but you can change the direction you're going. And here's a key - direction determines destination.
I would start with something small. Small steps of progress. Think of some fairly easy goal you could go after that would bring some happiness. Not something major, not something long term.
Erica, you owe yourself some happiness. Your cat would want that for you. The people, here, who have responded to your post wish that for you. I know I do.
Please never feel you are alone. We are all here for you. First off, I want to tell you that I went thru the exact same thing last Jan. I had a little dog who passed away. She passed away in my arms taking her to the vet to put her down. She was 15 years also. It is a very hard decision to make. The night before, I knew it was time. I cried and cried. I got another little dog one week later. Now, I am not suggesting that you go and do this unless you feel you are ready. Mine was an unusual situation. A good friend at work has a daughter who had a year old shih tzu (which is what I was going to get eventually) that needed to find a home for her but wanted to make sure she went to a good home. My friend immediatly told her about me. I have loved her since the moment I got her but I am still not over my first one but really enjoy this one. Another thing to look into, is a Pet Support Group for lost pets. I started going in March and I still go although now we just sit around and talk. I do not know where you live, but you might ask your vet about it. Believe me, it is well worth it.
Have you considered going to therapy? It is a big help. I would also see a pdoc about some meds. They can make an impact on your life. Like someone said, depression is not a weakness but an actual disease. Alot of people do not understand that. I do not let the people at work know. Some of my friends are supportive. I don't know what to do about your boyfriend. It is very hard for others to understand us because they are not going thru it. Maybe some time apart from your boyfriend would be good. Sleeping is not a good thing either, although I tend to do it myself. You need to come back here and post and vent anytime you feel like it. We all care!
Let us know about your cat.