Poem 'Reflection'

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BCdrifter
New Member


Date Joined Nov 2005
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 11/10/2005 11:14 PM (GMT -7)   

Reflection

 

I seem so strong they say

Nothing can get in my way

Why is it that no one can see?

Look harder, there deep inside

Something is destroying me

I’ve done so much and am doing so well

Why do I feel I am living hell?

Does anyone out there understand?

All the things I have done

All the accomplishments that I make

They just make if harder for me to fake,

Happiness is not around the next bend

Will this nightmare ever end?

There is nothing more I can think to do,

Can I ever break through?

A normal life is easy to portray,

It just doesn’t really feel that way.

I add life’s accomplishments to the collection,

Yet it doesn't feel real, just a reflection.

 

JS

Post Edited (BCdrifter) : 11/16/2005 9:51:10 PM (GMT-7)


AlwaysRosie
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 8616
   Posted 11/11/2005 1:17 AM (GMT -7)   
Welcome BC!!!

I'm sorry if you are feeling as blue as your poem. It was well written. Are you JS?? are did you find this poem and shared it with us?? Either way, it depicts depression well.

My depression is under control via medication. I am so thankful for the meds available today. Lot here have needed counseling and meds. I hope you have such assistance available to you.

Thanks for sharing the poem.

Blessings!
In His Grip,
AlwaysRosie          "We can't control the waves, but we can learn to surf!"
Psalms 139
UCTD (Undifferentiated Connective Tissue Disease), Hashimoto's, Plantar Fasciitis, Inflamatory Arthritis, High BP, GI Inflamation, Diverticuloses
Plaquenil, Methotrexate, Folic Acid, Synthroid, RX Motrin, Lexapro, Amitriptelyne, Salagen, Lotrel (Centrum Silver, B12, B6, Calcium+D,)


BCdrifter
New Member


Date Joined Nov 2005
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 11/13/2005 3:43 PM (GMT -7)   
Hello,
Yes I wrote this. I am not really much of a poet but I kind of like this one as it closely reflects how I feel right now.
It seems wierd sometimes. I look at myself and think I should be happy. I don't have anything horribly wrong with me, I can walk, see, hear and think, I am smart, reasonably successful, I have a beautiful child that loves me, a huge family that cares for me, a good roof over my head, food on the table etc. But it just doesn't seem real, almost like I am looking at someone elses life, and no matter how many things I come up with to justify and maybe create happiness with myself I destroy with self doubt. I am reaching the end of a difficult battle, finishing school. When I started a number of years ago I imagined some glorious future with me being happy, with myself and with my life. But now it is almost over and I am no longer sure, I don't know what I want anymore. And looking back on the last decade of my adult life I realize I have been doing this since I left home. Always working at some new challenge, moving to some new town, working at some new job, etc with the expecation that 'everything will be better after I do this'. Realizing this leaves me confused, maybe I'll never get to that place I have envisioned. Now I don't really see anything and I kind of just don't want to exist at all anymore. I am not going to do anything to myself of course, I do have a child that needs me and I do recognize that, but to just 'poof' disappear. I can see from the posts here that I am not alone in these feelings, but again it doesn't seem to matter what logic shows me, my mind make its own desision, I feel alone.
I have been taking Rameron for a few years now, though I don't know that it does anything other than knock me out at night.
I was seeing a cousellor a year ago but stopped going and havn't managed to find my way back yet.
JS

AlwaysRosie
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 8616
   Posted 11/13/2005 3:57 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi JS,

At the risk of sounding preaching, I think you would benefit from having a church family. I know that, for me, being plugged in to a church life is a very important part of my life. I think there is a God-sized hole in each of us, longing for that connection.

I hope that you find what you are looking for. I know what a challenge life can be at times. I really enjoy my friends here at Healing Well too.

Thanks again for sharing your poem.

Blessings!
In His Grip,
AlwaysRosie          "We can't control the waves, but we can learn to surf!"
Psalms 139
UCTD (Undifferentiated Connective Tissue Disease), Hashimoto's, Plantar Fasciitis, Inflamatory Arthritis, High BP, GI Inflamation, Diverticuloses
Plaquenil, Methotrexate, Folic Acid, Synthroid, RX Motrin, Lexapro, Amitriptelyne, Salagen, Lotrel (Centrum Silver, B12, B6, Calcium+D,)


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 11/16/2005 4:01 AM (GMT -7)   
JS ...a very beautiful and true poem ......I too am plugged in to the Church and for me it works ........as well as my HW family of course ......i know you will find lots of caring and supportive peeps on this forum.......and this site ......for me it has given me friendships that will lasts thru my lifetime and carried me thru some very rough periods over this last yaer ........thanks for sharing ......hope to see more of you .....God Bless and be well ........Lyn........Hey sis ( Rosie) how are you??
 
Contribute today to support Healing Well Forums...Donate @
 
    I cannot keep your feet from stumbling..........I can only offer my hand that you might grasp it and not fall...........Lyn  
 
 
 
 
                              


BCdrifter
New Member


Date Joined Nov 2005
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 11/16/2005 9:49 PM (GMT -7)   
Hmmm, I supose you both may have a point. However, I have never been a religious person. I very strongly support everyones right to have any faith they wish to. I concider myself to be spiritual, I believe in something. I just haven't found anything that fits for me (budism is close). I remember as a child, my grandmother whom is extremely religious, told me that my mother and grandfather were going to burn in a lake of fire if they didn't accept Jesus as there personal saviour. Looking back as an adult I understand that she didn't mean any harm, she just loved these two people very much and was genuinly concerned. As a child I remember being horified and begging my mom to do as grandma said. My mom has a simular outlook as myself, there is something, we aren't here for no reason. My grandfather is worse, he is a full blow athiest. But not to label him a bad person. He has a moral fabric that very few these days do. He is a model person, never done anything wrong, not even a speeding ticket, never been drunk, never taken drugs (other than perscribed of course) never swears, never rude to anyone even if they deserve it. He is this way simply because it is right. I think that any person that lives their life that way deserves to go to 'heaven' regardless of their lack of belief in its existance. Also, I am part first nations. The church (different than the latter) that was the most influential at the time sent many of my elders to residential schools. In the name of religion. They were labeled as savages, our culture and language destroyed. In residential schools they were abused, pyhisically, mentally and sexually. Religion is the root of most wars and hate crimes, well not so much the religion itself but the people who believe so strongly that they think they are 'saving people' when they do something or contribute to something that is morally wrong. I think people should be allowed to follow/think/believe what they wish and respect each others differences and enjoy the discovery of learning about someone elses culture/belief or religion. I supose that sometimes that is why I get so confused, your right, I am missing something. But this world seems so bad so corrupt. Society seems to want me to fit into some social group. I can get along with many but have yet to find one that I feel I completely fit. Thats part of why I don't know that anyone really understands me, but yet I really can't be that different when there are so many people in the world. Hmmm, sorry I don't mean to be so pessimistic I just don't really know that there is a place for me.

Angeline53
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2005
Total Posts : 66
   Posted 11/22/2005 10:33 PM (GMT -7)   
There is a place for you. It's not in some man made building. It's in your spirit. You are completely right. This world is a corrupt place. But my Lord is not from this place, and He doesn't think like these corrupt people.
My Lord Is Jesus. I talk to him, and he guides me threw my life threw His word, but also threw the Holy Spirit. You don't need to go to a certian place to fill that hole in your life. No person can fill that hole no person can really understand you. Try our Creator. He will guide you. Jesus is only one thought away. You go to Him personaly. He will appear to you If you truely seek Him. I am truely loved, and nothing can replace that feeling. Diane
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