ready to blow my top!!

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james73
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 200
   Posted 11/16/2005 8:42 PM (GMT -7)   
I read a thread lastnite about someone who cant express feelings!!Well my problem is similar,I can tell my wife Ilove her as I do every day,but cant tell her when she ticks me off  as she losese it at me,,my problem is I have been having  a hard time dealing with myself,my job my wife ...just alot and as some of you know I am also dealing with my wife who is a severely depressed person ,she is taking meds and they do help most of time  for her depression and anxiety..but when they dont I have to walk on eggshells and lately I am walking on them ...I have been doing this for so long ,I take her insults ,criticsm,mood swings her lack of wanting to do anything,I cook,clean the house which I dont mind doing (i like my cooking better)and even the cleaning(vaccuum cleaner even thou we only have two roomss with carpet usually take me a good half hour as believe it or not is my peaceful time ..can only hear my thoughts then)..but If I dont clean all the time which I dont always feel like doing she flips out,she suffers from stand and drop disease which is wher ever she gets un-dressed is where the clothes stay ....they  never go in hamper ..argghhh...
But my prob is I have tried to ask her to help ,in a pleasant manner...didnt work...I tried not cleaning for a long time ...didnt work made me sick and zi did it myself..I cant say anything to her without her getting upset or mad latly.
we have gone to counselling in the past didnt help ..i guess she wont or cant help herself...It just makes life really miserable,dont get me wrong she has been doing good up till last few weeks and I ask her but she just says she dont know whats bothering her...What do you do???I am not sure what to do any more???My head is sore from containing everything Argghhh....!!!sorry so long but feel somewhat better getting all tha off my chest!!

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.


Annieoakley
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2004
Total Posts : 310
   Posted 11/17/2005 9:13 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi James,
So sorry to hear you are having a rough time with the mrs's. I too feel like this...but it's on the other foot...my husband feels the same way, he says he feels like he is walking on eggshells everyday with me...believe it or not...anything just sets me off, and I can honestly say I don't know why I feel this...I do have some good days BUT there are alot of bad days, for me I am a clean freak, everything has to be clean and perfect...now...I have 4 guys living at home with me 15 yr old 13 yr old 4.5 yr old and of course my husband and the boys are pretty much lazy, don't get me wrong...I love them more than words can say but they don't do any kind of cleaning and when asked to do something I get attitude..so I end up doing everything myself and it is so frustrating. I know I insult my husband or criticize him or just be plain mean and at the moment it all happens...I don't realize that I am doing..I can go in my bedroom and take time out for myself and think about things,when I have cooled down I come out of the bedroom and tell him that I am very sorry... I can do this many many times a day and again like I said anything will set me off, I really will not blame him if one day he just gets fed up and leave...I mean how much more can someone take...even if the person does love the other person to death..can take of this. But I am trying I really am..but it is so hard to try and be normal again. anyways james I'm sorry this is long, i just had to post you. please take care of yourself, we are here for you.
Annie

Fibromyaligia, dx Oct 2004 but was recently told 12 years now.
Chronic fatigue Syndrome dx 1995
Anxiety/Panic attacks dx 1990
M.S. dx June 29th 2005
Anemia dx Jan 2005
Depression..lets just say for a while now.

Meds: Amitriptyline
Lorazepam
Celexa
Ferrous Glouconate
Ibuprofen 600mg
and soon to start on
Rebif or Avenox

Red Rose
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 105
   Posted 11/17/2005 9:14 AM (GMT -7)   
james, I'm so sorry you're going through all that. I think sometimes depression is harder on the person who doesn't have it. I remember being a little like your wife until I accepted what I have. I wish I had an answer for you. I can just offer support, a shoulder to cry on and ((HUGS)).
Fibromyagia since 1997
Osteoarthritis
Bi-lateral Cervical Radiculopathy from C4-C8
Bi-lateral Thoracic Outlet Syndrome
Bi-lateral Ulnar Neuropathy
Costochondritis
Cervical cancer-in remission
Depression w/anxiety attacks
Meds:
Wellbutrin
Xanax
Ultram
Trazadone
Plus vitamins and herbs
Accupuncture
 
 


sadsunshine
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 398
   Posted 11/17/2005 10:47 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi James,

I'm sorry you're having such a hard time. Before I started taking meds my husband used to say the same sort of things. For me, I generally would just cry. He felt as though he couldn't talk to me. That made me feel more guilty. Around and around it goes.

I'm the clean one in our house. I have an obsessive personlity but not full blwn OCD. Everything has to been neat and straight. I drive myself crazy.

I don't have any wonderful words of advice. I will say that you seem to be a very patient and loving husband. Mine is too and I am really appreciating it lately. Did you say your wife was being treated? Would it be possible for you to ask your wife if you could talk to her therapist? Maybe get some professional suggestions? I get the feeling that the answer is probably no.

Stay as strong as you can. try and get some time for yourself to regroup. Come here and vent away!!!

Take care . . .

Sadsunshine

james73
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 200
   Posted 11/17/2005 1:33 PM (GMT -7)   
I dont mind teh clothes being dopped wherever ..i do but its easier to pick them up myself because i do the same thing sometimes .The egshells are completly crushed into the hardwood now and they form a real nice pattern ....SDhe has been on meds for last 4or 5 years and yes she has gone to pdoc and I have gone with her and the docs tell her what to do tell me what to do I try to do as they say but feel she doesnt,maybe she doesnt want to...i dont know but I will say annie you hit the nail on the head when you said you dont blame your hubby if he leaves .Well I tell you some days I want to but I dont I am patient i love my wife and child to death but it is so hard lately...I know she cant help some things and I probably piss her off to but I guess I am waiting for a little of the take in."give and take"...she wont admitt when she is wrong so I just always take blame for everything...I have always been a happy person and now i find myself full of anxiety when I am with her ,doc has me on drugs trying to help me ..I do not like taking them screw my sleep up...oh well I will just sit here and simmer for awhile hopefully it will pass....thanks for the words of wisdom all I apprciate them I really do
j

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.


james73
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 200
   Posted 11/17/2005 8:49 PM (GMT -7)   
yeah time difference sucks sometimes liz but I always have a positive e-mail from you when i start work ,I appreciate any advice I can get from you and anybody else who can help me ,as I dont have all the answers and just trying to get thru each day 1 day at a time some days are good and some bad ..yesterday was a bad day and I appreciate all advice
thanks all
J

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

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