.......about two years ago, going on three. i met this girl in college. we had a good relationship (atleast i thought so..) we had our ups and downs. but i loved that girl! and i was faithful to her. honest! we were dating for a year. and then the summer came. we had to separate. i was in TX and she was in OH. we spoke over the summer on the cell phone every now and then. i told her that i missed her,i can't wait until school starts so i could see her and she told me likewise. well the summer was almost over, we had two weeks left in school. while i was packing up. she had called me. she said that she was packing up to and was ready to book-up. so as we were talking, she had mentioned a guy she had met over the summer. she stated that they were just friends and nothing more. i said that it was "cool, because i trust you." we hung up and my spidey senses were tingling. but i ignored it and said that im just actin' up. soo that time finally came. i was back on the school campus and there she was. but not the same. she didn't smile at me like she used to. she didn't hold my hand like she used to. she wasn't even acting like my girlfriend like she used too. my spidey senses tinkled so much, i almost had a seizure. i walked to my dorm depressed and kept saying mabey she's just tired or something.she'll return to herself tommorrow. the next day came, still the same. little hints of disinterest kept popping up like bubbles. she hardly had anything to say to me. (and she usually talks alot) the biggest hint came when one of my friends on campus saw us walking together and yelled out "it's good to see ya'll together!" and i hear her say in a small voice "...yea.(smiling sarcastically)...us." i asked her if she was ok. she abruptly snarled at me and said "im fine!" lookin' dumbfounded, i had nothing to say to her. all of a sudden, her "friend" finally showed up. now, remember when you was a little kid on christmas eve. after that turkey and all, you and your family decides drive around the neighborhood to go look at all the christmas lights. you remember how bright those lights are? well, i felt like that little kid when i looked at her face, just staring at him, waving frantically like she saw denzel washington or something. i was crushed, just for the simple fact that i wasn't the reason she smiled, her friend was. well, her sister was hanging with her "friend" and she made an excuse by saying that she needs to spend time with her sister. so i said in a shakey hurt tone. ok. then i was thinking, darn im losing her and that song from the temptations were playin' in my head. later that night. after she hung out with her "friend". i finally told her how i feel and what was i thinking. she said that there was nothing to worry about, we are just friends. the next day came and i saw them spending more time together. leaving me out the equation. later that night she gave me the legendary phrase used for centuries. "i think we should be friends." thats when i knew it was over. but why would she wanna just be friends with me. i was good to her, i never cheated on her. i wasn't the best boyfriend, but i gave her my heart. a week later she sold my heart to give her heart to her newboyfriend. apparently, her friend she met over that summer were more than friends. she didn't even apologize to me until the last week of school for the entire year. but they were and now still together. matter of fact, thier wedding is next week sometime. i think i got over it and it is not easy. sometimes im up and sometimes im down. no new girl wants to talk to me. (atleast for now) though it happed two years ago, it still hurts. i tried talkin' to my friends, it helped alittle, but im right back to depression. i tried praying. i'll feel good for the night. the next day it is the same. im tired of feeling this way................im all alone................and i don't think i can take this any more.......................
relationships are a funny thing
the only relationship I have right now with any meaning is the one I have with my 14 year old daughter
I have never had a single relationship that has not turned sour
every guy, and I mean EVERY guy I have ever dated has lied, cheated, abused me emotionally or mentally, or both, or hurt me in some fashion
Now I see things for what they are
if a man talks to me I am immediately suspicious, I want nothing to do with them
plus I have this "wonderful" disease, MS that will mostl likely leave me wheelchair bound some day...I have no right to inflict this on anyone
I see myself clearly now... I am damaged goods and not worth anything
I wish it could have been different for me, but I was destined to be alone
it's not so bad once you get used to it
Hope things get better for you
"I see myself clearly now... I am damaged goods and not worth anything" that is a LIE! Satan wants you to believe that! he hates you! he and sin caused you to have MS! he doesn't want you,me, and every human being created by our heavenly father to have a good life. so, Jinxed, if you just snap out of believing you are damaged goods and start believing that you are worth alot. you will be blessed. all it takes is faith. and faith is basically believing in something that logically does not make any sense because it is not there, you don't see it, but you believe it is there any way because you know that with God, all things are possible. see without faith and hope for good things, it is impossible to please God!! i don't know your hearts desire, but i know the man upstairs does and can and wants to give you those desires if you just believe in him. so start believing, because you will and i pray that you will expierience joy you never seen before! peace out!