......long message but pleas read. it's about my story of betrayal

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ironman36
New Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3
   Posted Yesterday 2:22 AM (GMT -7)   

.......about two years ago, going on three. i met this girl in college. we had a good relationship (atleast i thought so..) we had our ups and downs. but i loved that girl! and i was faithful to her. honest! we were dating for a year. and then the summer came. we had to separate. i was in TX and she was in OH. we spoke over the summer on the cell phone every now and then. i told her that i missed her,i can't wait until school starts so i could see her and she told me likewise. well the summer was almost over, we had two weeks left in school. while i was packing up. she had called me. she said that she was packing up to and was ready to book-up. so as we were talking, she had mentioned a guy she had met over the summer. she stated that they were just friends and nothing more. i said that it was "cool, because i trust you." we hung up and my spidey senses were tingling. but i ignored it and said that im just actin' up. soo that time finally came. i was back on the school campus and there she was. but not the same. she didn't smile at me like she used to. she didn't hold my hand like she used to. she wasn't even acting like my girlfriend like she used too. my spidey senses tinkled so much, i almost had a seizure. i walked to my dorm depressed and kept saying mabey she's just tired or something.she'll return to herself tommorrow. the next day came, still the same. little hints of disinterest kept popping up like bubbles. she hardly had anything to say to me. (and she usually talks alot) the biggest hint came when one of my friends on campus saw us walking together and yelled out "it's good to see ya'll together!" and i hear her say in a small voice "...yea.(smiling sarcastically)...us." i asked her if she was ok. she abruptly snarled at me and said "im fine!" lookin' dumbfounded, i had nothing to say to her. all of a sudden, her "friend" finally showed up. now, remember when you was a little kid on christmas eve. after that turkey and all, you and your family decides drive around the neighborhood to go look at all the christmas lights. you remember how bright those lights are? well, i felt like that little kid when i looked at her face, just staring at him, waving frantically like she saw denzel washington or something. i was crushed, just for the simple fact that i wasn't the reason she smiled, her friend was. well, her sister was hanging with her "friend" and she made an excuse by saying that she needs to spend time with her sister. so i said in a shakey hurt tone. ok. then i was thinking, darn im losing her and that song from the temptations were playin' in my head. later that night. after she hung out with her "friend". i finally told her how i feel and what was i thinking. she said that there was nothing to worry about, we are just friends. the next day came and i saw them spending more time together. leaving me out the equation. later that night she gave me the legendary phrase used for centuries. "i think we should be friends." thats when i knew it was over. but why would she wanna just be friends with me. i was good to her, i never cheated on her. i wasn't the best boyfriend, but i gave her my heart. a week later she sold my heart to give her heart to her newboyfriend. apparently, her friend she met over that summer were more than friends. she didn't even apologize to me until the last week of school for the entire year. but they were and now still together. matter of fact, thier wedding is next week sometime. i think i got over it and it is not easy. sometimes im up and sometimes im down. no new girl wants to talk to me. (atleast for now) though it happed two years ago, it still hurts. i tried talkin' to my friends, it helped alittle, but im right back to depression. i tried praying. i'll feel good for the night. the next day it is the same. im tired of feeling this way................im all alone................and i don't think i can take this any more.......................


bevhea
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2005
Total Posts : 240
   Posted Yesterday 3:52 AM (GMT -7)   
I've been thinking a lot about betrayal recently. All betrayals suck and hurt and keep on hurting. Honestly, I'm not sure I've ever gotten over the betrayals I've been through--it still hurts to think about them. November 4, 1961 was the day my beloved boyfriend married someone else. There are some things you just don't forget.

My life and welbeing were damaged. I lost confidence. I made dumb choices. I hurt oh, so bad. I hurt oh, so, bad. But I lived through that 1961 betrayal, more betrayals, and some far worse.

Today and for many years I live and have lived a very full, good, and happy life inspite of many past miseries. And getting to this place, being who I am today, and the happy years I've enjoyed are worth the world to me.

You might like to know that, like me in my first marriage, my old boyfriend and his wife did not have a good life. Also like me, he finally found his dream partner. Today I'm very happy for him.

Both of us found our ways to the lives we dreamed of, not just in our marriage partners, but in our work, our play, our social lives. You will too when the time is right, and one day with still fond memories of what might have been, you will be oh, so glad that she betrayed you and someone else had to put up with her. Watch and see!

bev

ironman36
New Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3
   Posted Today 1:12 AM (GMT -7)   
wow! thanx Bevhea. i already feel better. if God has been good to you throughout the years, then can't even imagine what he has planned out for me.i hope he will continue to bless you!

Jinxed
New Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 12/8/2005 10:00 PM (GMT -7)   

relationships are a funny thing

the only relationship I have right now with any meaning is the one I have with my 14 year old daughter

I have never had a single relationship that has not turned sour

every guy, and I mean EVERY guy I have ever dated has lied, cheated, abused me emotionally or mentally, or both, or hurt me in some fashion

Now I see things for what they are

if a man talks to me I am immediately suspicious, I want nothing to do with them

plus I have this "wonderful" disease, MS that will mostl likely leave me wheelchair bound some day...I have no right to inflict this on anyone

I see myself clearly now... I am damaged goods and not worth anything

I wish it could have been different for me, but I was destined to be alone

it's not so bad once you get used to it

Hope things get better for you

J


ironman36
New Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 12/9/2005 12:24 AM (GMT -7)   
well jinxed...........i feel your pain. it seems that life so far wasn't easy for you emotionally and physically. but let me tell you the truth, you are worth something! how do i know and i don't even know you or have seen you? well, #1 you have a gift. a daughter. who gave you that gift? God, who puts alot of value in you by making you and keeps your heart beating. you are probrably thinking, "if this God loves me so much and put alot of value in me by dying on the cross, then why do i have M.S. (multiple sclerosis right?) i used to ask similar questions like that when "stuff" happens and i finally have an answer and i would like to share it with you. All things (good or bad) work well for those who love, have a relationship, and spend time with God. that MS you have is not punishment from God, he loves you too much to cause you harm. but if you just beleive and have enough faith, he can heal you. he did "allow" M.S. to happen to you. he did it so you can lean on to him. and once you do, he will heal you. (hey, he works in myserious ways). i don't know what is Gods plan for you (and i know he does have a plan for you.) but since prayer and faith changes things, i will pray for you, wherever you are. i hope you'll pray too, and when you do, tell God everything, be honest, speak your mind, tell him how you feel. though he already knows, he just wanna spend time with you by communicating with you. Do that and believe well bring you through, he will heal you. try to forget your past, i know it is not easy, but you have to. you will have a new life and great and wonderful things will happen to you. believe me i've seen it in many peoples lives who surrendered to God and i know he will bring you out of the storm! watch and see! and in closing, you did mention...................

"I see myself clearly now... I am damaged goods and not worth anything" that is a LIE! Satan wants you to believe that! he hates you! he and sin caused you to have MS! he doesn't want you,me, and every human being created by our heavenly father to have a good life. so, Jinxed, if you just snap out of believing you are damaged goods and start believing that you are worth alot. you will be blessed. all it takes is faith. and faith is basically believing in something that logically does not make any sense because it is not there, you don't see it, but you believe it is there any way because you know that with God, all things are possible. see without faith and hope for good things, it is impossible to please God!! i don't know your hearts desire, but i know the man upstairs does and can and wants to give you those desires if you just believe in him. so start believing, because you will and i pray that you will expierience joy you never seen before! peace out!


bevhea
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2005
Total Posts : 240
   Posted 12/9/2005 12:29 AM (GMT -7)   
I'm damaged goods, not good for anything is exactly what I thought a long time ago. It was true. I was damaged by a sexual abuse; I was damaged by other things. I could never get to where I wanted to be; I could never get what I wanted.

But mostly because I came to believe that, I damaged myself by not making good choices. I took the roads that were easy, because I just didn't think I could achieve whatever the other might take me too.

It was my mistake. I should have kept picking myself up and dusting myself off. I didn't. I wished my life could be different for me too. Then I got just too sick of being dysfunctional, too sick of desperation, too sick of failure. I swore an oath, with all the fervor as in Gone With the Wind"--"I will never go hungry again."

Today it is different. I make good choices and I'm happy.

bev
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