Well after months of waiting, my daughter finally has a diagnosis. She has PDD/NOS. It is a mild form of autism. I have researched it in the past and although it is not as debilitating as classic autism. It is still not that great of a prognosis. Well I have been really depressed for the last few months since the whole autism thing came up. So at least I was not blindsided by the news. I am not on any meds at this time, or seeing any professionals. I really am in a bad place right now. I can seem to see any good in anything I do. The only thing holding me together is my daughter. Know that if I fall apart everything will tumble. My wife, who has been in denial since this first came up, is devastated. It has been really hard because I don’t feel I can react. I can't express my feelings. I am focused, because I need to take care of my daughter. The hurting inside is almost unbearable. Sorry to go on and on. It has been a long 6 months waiting for the news, and although I prepared in the beginning, I started to think that she was ok, over the last few months. Now my wife wants to quit work (I don’t blame her) but in the situation we are in now, she can't right away. Well it felt good to get it off my chest. I am not sure what to do. I have to force myself to eat/drink. I have been having a hard time being around my daughter, I feel very guilty about that, and I wish I was stronger and could handle myself better.
Thanks for listening