CB,welcome to the forum. You have landed in a soft and caring place.
Most of us have been, are at or will be again, where you are. It is part of the healing journey. Our individual pain cause us to isolate, emotions from the past remind us that we could not tell, and no one care, and if they did, they said we were "too sensitive". I can't stand that phrase!
There are 2 books I have handy at all times. I reference them to remind me what skills I need to do when I and feeling my self going down. Skills are our sword and shield to fight the monsters!
A web site you might find very helpful is www.mindful.org
. the search is in the top right of the screen.
The books I use the most are:
THE HERE AND NOW HABIT by Hugh G. Byrne, PhD
He uses the word 'habit' in place of self harm. As we can not discuss this on the forum you are welcome to email me if you need to. Click on my user name, email address will be on the right side of profile.
THE MINDFUL PATH TO SELF-COMPASSION by Christopher K. Germer, PhD.
I have been working on self-compassion and self kindness for a year now. And I can say that bad habits and actions are not longer a worry for me. Sure, I still have ideations as I work on my abusive past, but I can control myself and look at my emotions and balance them now. I can face my pain and work with it so it will be processed and not come back on me.
Moderator - Depression
"...when the gift of sight is cause enough for jubilation."
Billy Collins from the poem. HIGH
DX: reverse Trigeminal Neuralgia;Cluster headaches; Atypical face pain;Hemicrania Continua; raynauds;complex PTSD; recurring MDD,disassociative disorder;