I am feeling very frightened and anxious after seeing my Dad today. He is 88, still works and in good health - even after two heart attacks, a triple by-pass six years ago and a six-bypass surgery four years ago. Today he came to visit from Florida and we had lunch together. He said he feels like an old man now and has been weak for the past two years and can't travel like he used to. He said he worries about me a lot and will not be around forever to take care of me when I get laid off my jobs or lose them with bills etc. I told him about my recent job disappointment at the Investment company and he was not happy about that. He wants to see me with a stable job, I told him I was trying, but that times were tough for everyone, and unfortunately, jobs come and go and the economy is not good, many people are losing their jobs. He worries as I don't have a nest egg, and have been unable to keep a job for any length of time. I told him I would be okay, but not sure if I will be..I have no idea what I will do when he passes. I keep thinking, when he goes, I will too, as I will not be able to take care of myself, rent, car payment, bills, school loans. It is very hard to work with depression and anxiety problems, even on medication, as medication can stop working..and have to start all over again.
Well, sorry this letter was depressing, I am having an off day and was wondering if anyone goes through this when they visit their aging parents and have this kind of talk with them. It is scary and I am feeling panicked and anxious. Unfortunately, I have had to be financially dependent with my Dad, as there have been times I have been unable to pay rent, car payment or bills the times I have lost jobs. This happens (anxiety and sadmess) everytime I see my Dad and I realize his health is starting to deteriorate. I worry so much about what will become of me. I am single, live on my own and no boyfriend or family other than my Dad.
Thanks for listening.
Life has ups and downs. Most of us experience both. Some get more of one than the other, but that's life. There are no guarantees. A good job may be great but there is no guarantee it will last.
Personally speaking, I've gone from financial security to barely making ends meet. I've had a house, cars, etc. Then the job disappeared, and it took everything I loved and worked so hard for right along with it. There just are no guarantees things will stay the same. The good news is that they can change for the better too!
I now live in a tiny apartment, my computer is my luxury, my world, my connection to most things and wonderful people. I have no car; I rent on a bus line and use the bus and my feet for all my transportation. I live in a city where I can do that.
Your aged father having to worry about your financial situation is unfair. The best thing you can do for him is to make things happen for yourself. Find a nice room or efficiency apartment you can afford; get rid of the car if you can and save the car payment and insurance money. Live without frills. Find your own cheap thrills: library books, second-hand clothes and household items, etc. Make it a fun project to see just how cheaply you can live. It gets to be fun to see that life can be simple and cheap. It's amazing how you can be happy with "good enough" as opposed to 'the best'.
You can give your Dad the gift of him not having to worry about you by becoming more independent. It will be a gift to you too!
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can;and wisdom to know the difference.