You've received good support and ideas here. I too hope you will see a doc. You are unhappy and want to feel better. Tell your doctor what you said in your post, or print it and take it with you to help you remember or to have him/her read if you can't say it out loud.
You say in your first post that you think "of things that make no sense over and over again". Can you say more about those things you are thinking about?
Also, your exprerience with the voices becoming muffled when there are people around you talking sounds like it could be panic. Do you have other symptoms that could be panic?
I hope you feel better and I hope your husband comes around to understanding and being supportive.
Post back and let us know how you are doing, okay?
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can;and wisdom to know the difference.
I think about how my life would be if I never got married and had kids. How much easier it would be to be alone. That thought alone drives me crazy because I would give my life for my kids. I sit there and think about how the neighbours seem to have this wonderful life. I look at people and automaticaly I compare them to myself. Of coarse they always end up being better. At time I even forget what I was thinking about. It is as if I black out.
I have these thoughts (memories) about being a small girl and something bad happening to me. Something I do not even want to write about. Not knowing if it is a true memory or just a horrible dream that I still remember a bit, drives me crazy.
I remeber thing that I have done and regret with all my heart. I have a lot of regrets.
My life seems like a movie. When I am in front of people(the camera) I smile, laugh, and I am always pretending that everything is ok. When the camara goes off so does the smile.
What should I do.
Right now I am getting ready to go spend a few days at my parents house for christmas. I have alraedy threatened my husband with devorce, we havn't even left the house yet.
I will let you know how it goes. I am so dreding it. I love them, but I do not want to put up with the comoction.
Well I hope you all have a great Christmas and I hope you all have a graet new year.