I'm glad to see you posted again. You sound better. I know it is very hard, especially at first.
So you quit your meds abruptly, too? Have you had side effects? I had many and severe side effects; the worst was the 1st two weeks, then it gradually got better but lasted a month or a little more. I wish I had weaned off, but I made an error in judgement: I had been on Prozac for many years and decided to go off; the doc suggested Effexor so I switched but only for a 2 week period where one week I was on a low dose then the next week a higher dose; then I decided I really did want to go off that and all AD meds, so I just quit the Effexor. What I didn't realize was that even though I'd only been on the Effexor 2 weeks, I had been on all kinds of AD med for 10 years so I was withdrawing from all the years of being on meds. I missed almost a week of work because of the withdrawal symtoms. I HATED that because I never miss work normally. My jobs have always been imortant to me--I know how to 'be' there, what is expected of me, how to perform, how to please.
Tell your husband you aren't going back on your meds and you would like him to accept that and support you through this.
Please do get a therapist as soon as possible. It will help you so much and probably help you avoid the hospital too. Get a good psychodynamic therapist who does depth work (as opposed to a therapist who does short term therapy). That is just my own opinion, so of course you do what you want about the therapist, but I hope you will do that right away. You may feel like you need to wait to feel better before you schedule and appointment, but you don't have to because you go however you are feeling anyway. That can be the hard part, making that first appointment and then going.
Keep posting! Let us know how you are. If you make a theapy appointment, we'll be here cheering you on!