Is Christmas taking its toll on your relationship?

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*MovinOn*
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 22
   Posted 12/20/2005 1:20 PM (GMT -7)   
I think it is with mine.  I'm sure its not just Christmas though, that just brought it out.  Anyone else in the same boat?

james73
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 200
   Posted 12/21/2005 5:11 AM (GMT -7)   
The holidays are always stressful for me too...always wonder if everything will be ok ..everyone happy with the gifts they received etc.....well this year I am saying what you get is what you see if you dont like it I have the receipt so you can take it back!!!!!and my stress level has been good because of it so far....goodluck

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.


punky
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 94
   Posted 12/21/2005 5:28 AM (GMT -7)   

This time of year has been extremely tough on me the last 10years.  It usually starts about September and doesn't leave until April.  I think I have SAD, but that is not the whole picture.  I lost alot between those months in several different years. As my husband said of me on a different site, I am extremely nostalgic, or sentimental. Deaths,divorce,getting fired from my job,losing a family pet all happened during this time. I then with the holiday stress, I go into my slump. Bringing out the Christmas decorations was rough this year, too.  Finally got rid of the ones from my past marriage and gave them to my kids. What ever they don't want they threw away. You see, one year their Dad told them the day after Christmas that he was divorcing me. So now the trend continues for them,too.

Yes it does add stress to your marriage. I am in a very loving relationship now. If it wasn't for his compassion, I would be in bed still instead of up and getting ready for work. Understanding from you mate regarding this disease is extremely important.


ShynSassy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 12/21/2005 9:47 AM (GMT -7)   
I was worried that it would with mine as I was so depressed and didn't even want to put a tree up. But, he knew that and has been doing everything he can to make it a better time. He has never had a nice tree,and an awesome girlfriend ;) at the same time (or so he says) so he's in a great mood,and I'm trying my hardest to at least not show how down I can be.
Don't worry about the world ending,it's already tomorrow in Australia!


*MovinOn*
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 22
   Posted 12/21/2005 1:16 PM (GMT -7)   
Well, I thought I could just plow through it but then last night I'm informed of new plans for Christmas. The original plan was for his daughter, his mother, he and I to have a nice dinner at home. That sounded great. I enjoy cooking for the holidays and I wanted to keep it small. Last night I'm informed there's been a change. Now we will be spending the entire day at his mother's house and she's having a local grocery store bring in turkey and stuff. That's not all that big of a deal but still is disappointing. But, his entire family is going to be in this tiny little house and his entire family hates one another and fight constantly. I don't think I can deal with this much drama. I need to find a way to escape and not look like a bad guy.

james73
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 200
   Posted 12/21/2005 1:26 PM (GMT -7)   
I know what you are going thru " in the we are doing this or that at christmas"....it used to be like that for me too wife always wanted to go to her family ...always turmoil and bickering and she never wanted to go to my family house which was ok by me but it hurts just the same ...well now we dont go anywhere we stay home with our daughter and have a quiet christmas and we usually go for a visit sometime after christmas ..do you ever go to your folks place??at xmas??

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.


*MovinOn*
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 22
   Posted 12/21/2005 3:13 PM (GMT -7)   
Yes, I always spend Christmas with my family.  Its very small and always very enjoyable.  This relationship is only a year old and I am trying to make his Christmas a good one because he hasn't had a "real Christmas" for at least the past 8 years.  I've gone all out for him in every way and let things slide on my side.  That's probably why I'm depressed.  He's got so many issues that I've never really had to or want to deal with.  I guess I thought that those issues wouldn't effect me.  Boy, was I wrong.  I think Christmas is just making me see that now. 

james73
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 200
   Posted 12/21/2005 4:41 PM (GMT -7)   
one thing I regret is that I let her walk over me when it came to family functions as we always went to hers never mine .my father died suddenly two years ago and I really regret not going to more of my family dinners or the such ..life is to short not to be happy do i hold it against my wife ..probably in my subconscious i do but I dont blame her ,just wish I did things differently ....we all ahve issues we deal with but make sure you look after yourself first make sure you are happy where you are .....

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.


Rianna
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2005
Total Posts : 366
   Posted 12/22/2005 5:27 PM (GMT -7)   
I think it is great that most of you all have family and people to spend the holidays with. Cherish that. I am single and alone and have spent the holiday by myself for the past 15 years..Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years I spend alone - just me and my two cats..sometimes I go to the homeless shelter on Christmas to serve meals. I wish I had family to quarrel or bicker with or to just enjoy. My friends are always out of town with their families, or I would invite them over.

punky
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 94
   Posted 12/23/2005 4:03 PM (GMT -7)   

Thanks Rianna for putting us all in our places.

I used to fantasize about running away to Canada and changing my name just so I could start all over again with nobody.

I am very thankful that I do have family and a few friends to call on. 

Hope you and your Kitties have a Merry Christmas and are thankful that you have a warm home to share it.

 

 

Punky-Celexa 40mg


Rianna
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2005
Total Posts : 366
   Posted 12/23/2005 4:45 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks Punky,

This is a time of year when many of us depressed folks can sometimes feel bad for ourselves, myself included. I wrote down all my blessings on a sheet of notebook paper and put it on the fridge. That way, I can see it every day, when I start to feel sorry for myself.
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