I feel so lost

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Ashlee Frances
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2015
Total Posts : 42
   Posted 7/11/2017 3:33 PM (GMT -6)   
I'm not feeling very good right now. In fact, I'm feeling more depressed and lost right now than I have in a long time.

For a little background on myself, I'm 21 years old...almost 22 (female). I began having problems with depression and anxiety when I graduated from high school. (I had a lot of changes in my life and apparently I'm bad with changes.) I eventually went on Lexapro and was on it for about a year and a half but I went off it because I felt like it was making me gain a lot of weight.

about 7 weeks ago I began taking Wellbutrin (150mg in the morning) and I've had good days and bad days. I haven't noticed too much of a drastic change in my mood...other than an decrease in my appetite, and I have a shorter temper. I do feel like I'm a lot angrier and negative.

I started a new job (working at a bank) at the same time I began taking Wellbutrin and have yet to feel at ease at work. I feel extremely overwhelmed with everything in life right now and I feel myself wanting to cry a lot of the time. There are moments where I'm happy and relaxed but usually towards the beginning of every week I have a mental breakdown. (I keep wanting to quit my job and I find myself tossing and turning at night thinking about life.)

I hate feeling this way and just want to be happy. Even the good things in my life are making me feel overwhelmed. I feel like nothing I do is ever good enough and I feel like I'm never satisfied with anything anymore. I'm beginning to hate life and I'm having a hard time seeing a good future for myself. I'm not sure if this is a phase or if Wellbutrin is not the right medicine for me.

I just went to the doctor today and he wants to up my dose to 300mg in October. He said I should workout more to help boost the positive effects of the medicine. I have a hard time opening up to anybody about how I'm actually feeling so I didn't exactly express how horrible I'm feeling right now to him. I just said that I haven't noticed a drastic difference and that I have good days and bad days. (I also mentioned that it took months for me to feel a difference on the Lexapro so that could be the case here.)

I'm just hoping I can get back on track soon because it kinda sucks feeling like this. I feel like I'm wasting my life away.

edited into paragraphs for ease of reading

Post Edited By Moderator (BnotAfraid) : 7/12/2017 11:05:57 AM (GMT-6)


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 41714
   Posted 7/11/2017 4:40 PM (GMT -6)   
Depression can sure make us feel like we are wasting our lives. Kind of puts us in a state of limbo. Feeling good gets hard.

If we aren't completely honest with the doc, they don't know what we need or are feeling. But an increase does sound like it could help.

Wellbutrin made me think real clear. I was as sharp as a tack. But a high dose (which I needed) started giving me insomnia. I hope it doesn't do that to you and there is a good chance it wont. We are all different.

I hope you start to feeling better soon. Keep posting, it helps.

Hugs, Karen...
Moderator-Depression


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

BnotAfraid
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2012
Total Posts : 7087
   Posted 7/12/2017 11:17 AM (GMT -6)   
Welcome to the forum.

So sorry you have to go through this. However you are young and can learn to control the depression and not let it control you!

You may not be ready to hear this, it is are to accept when we are a bad place, so I suggest you print out your thread with replies for future references.

We have a resource thread at the top of the forum, about 6 pages of good information. I have copied some the SKILLS information for you. Medication only does about 80% of the work. WE have to do the rest.

SKILLS:

DBT:

www.dbtselfhelp.com/html/dbt_skills__defined_.html

http://www.dbtmind.com/

http://pdfreedownload.com/pdf/dialectical-behavior-therapy-workbook

http://www.mindful.org

www.goodtherapy.org/Cognitive_Behavioral_Therapy.html#


CBT:

www.webmd.com/depression/guide/cognitive-behavioral-therapy-for-depression

cbt-examples.com/

http://www.anxietybc.com/self-help-cognitive-behavioural-therapy-cbt


www.steadyhealth.com/articles/Examples_of_Cognitive_Therapy_Exercises_a501.html


LIST OF COPING SKILLS

www.yourlifeyourvoice.org/pages/tip-99-coping-skills.aspx

DIET:

www.whfoods.com/foodstoc.php
Whole food diet site. Good Nutrition has been seen to help reduce depression is some people.


Second, Karen is correct. Talking honestly with your doc is the only way you will received the proper care. Yes, trust is tough issue. I know that first hand.

But, if you do not step out of the box you have put yourself in, nothing will change. Risks must be taken for help. PLUS, we have to learn to deal with disappointment, learning that these things are other peoples issues and not us personally.

Therapy may be a good idea, I find it very helpful, I go once a week.

Depending on the relationship with your manager, you may want to privately tell them what you are dealing with, just the diagnosis and that you are seeking further care. This way, they will not be wondering what is up with you.

I wish you will, stay strong. You trusted us, now trust yourself with your doc.

Peace
Trina
Moderator - Depression

"...when the gift of sight is cause enough for jubilation."
Billy Collins from the poem. HIGH

DX: reverse Trigeminal Neuralgia;Cluster headaches; Atypical face pain;Hemicrania Continua; raynauds;complex PTSD; recurring MDD,disassociative disorder;

Beautiful_Wreck67
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2017
Total Posts : 11
   Posted 7/14/2017 2:12 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Ashlee Francis! First let me congratulate you on your new job. One thing you must remember is that any new thing in our lives (especially a new job) can be very overwhelming. I have depression with anxiety and I started in a new dept at work a few yrs ago. Like you, I was sooooo anxiety ridden I just couldn't get a handle on things. So here's what I did:
I decided that I needed something to "snap" me back to reality when those anxious feelings took over. I wore a hair tye around my wrist and I would just snap it a few times if I was feeling anxious. As weird as it sounds, it would remind me to focus on something else besides the anxiety. I then would write down a number from 1-10 on how anxious I felt. If I was all the way to a 10, I would remind myself, I'll be a 5 in 5 minutes, I'll be a 4 in 4 minutes, and so on until I got to ONE. It takes just a few minutes to get calm again.
As for the depression, it's possible Wellbutrin may not be right for you. Tell yourself "I am special and unique and there will be a special medicine that WILL work. I WILL find it, I WILL get better"
Hugs to you and I hope you have peace and joy in your life very very soon!
Bi-Polar ~ Anxiety Disorder ~ just a beautiful wreck
Celexa ~ Wellbutrin ~ Xanax
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