I don't want to be social

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Pepeloviabanistenian
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2017
Total Posts : 8
   Posted 7/13/2017 3:01 PM (GMT -6)   
My dad says that the thing that will be most helpful to my depression is being out more and being more social. I dont want to be social at all. I have trust issues and its hard to make TRUE friends because i dont know if they really want to be friends or not. I also think its too hard to make friends because, since I'm so quiet, i have little to say or i think i may say the wrong thing/question, so it may be awkward to ask someone to be friends if i have nothing to talk about. Thats why I made the doll idea in my last post. Because I hate talking to people, especially ones my age.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 41690
   Posted 7/13/2017 3:25 PM (GMT -6)   
I honestly think everybody feels that way at one time or another. Though some show it more than others. Do you have brothers and sisters? I didn't have any living with me, I think that put a damper on my social skills at one time or another. I don't really like to socialize either, but at your age, I did. It is healthy to be around people. Though I have a lot of the same phobias as you do.

I make myself go to a friend's house one night a week. Once there was a lot of people there, I got uncomfortable and left early. I am just saying at your age, it is nice to get out once in awhile. Maybe just think of it as acquaintances and not prospects to become close friends. And if you do become close friends, then that is a bonus. And if there is a little bit of awkwardness, well, that is learning. In life we have natural ups and downs. We make friends, we lose friends. It isn't always smooth. Be prepared to make some mistakes, we all do.

I think your dad is right, but are you ready yet? Try not to get expectations up too high. Know we are all just people when it comes down to it. We all learn and grow. I think you will do fine....

Hugs, Karen...
Moderator-Depression


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

F27
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2016
Total Posts : 835
   Posted 7/13/2017 3:34 PM (GMT -6)   
Your dad is a wise man.

Pepeloviabanistenian
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2017
Total Posts : 8
   Posted 7/13/2017 7:01 PM (GMT -6)   
getting by said...
I honestly think everybody feels that way at one time or another. Though some show it more than others. Do you have brothers and sisters? I didn't have any living with me, I think that put a damper on my social skills at one time or another. I don't really like to socialize either, but at your age, I did. It is healthy to be around people. Though I have a lot of the same phobias as you do.

I make myself go to a friend's house one night a week. Once there was a lot of people there, I got uncomfortable and left early. I am just saying at your age, it is nice to get out once in awhile. Maybe just think of it as acquaintances and not prospects to become close friends. And if you do become close friends, then that is a bonus. And if there is a little bit of awkwardness, well, that is learning. In life we have natural ups and downs. We make friends, we lose friends. It isn't always smooth. Be prepared to make some mistakes, we all do.

I think your dad is right, but are you ready yet? Try not to get expectations up too high. Know we are all just people when it comes down to it. We all learn and grow. I think you will do fine....

Hugs, Karen...


I have 3 older sisters; two live at home and one doesn't. I don't get along with one (literally 0%), but that's a different story. I have two pets too if that makes a difference. I'm going to visit my grandma this weekend, so I'll talk to her more too. I'll see if I can try to be more social at school when it starts back.

kellyinCali
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 284
   Posted 7/13/2017 10:10 PM (GMT -6)   
I have literally isolated myself from "connection" and "support" for a decade. I thought (unconsciously), I was doing this in the name of "self preservation." The least I could do is keep the hurtful people out. Do you have any hobbies? Can you find a meetup group that shares your interests and just "try" to just "show up" for one event? Don't put any more pressure on yourself than that and then re-evaluate how you feel. I wish I had done that. 10 years went by and now I am in the deepest depression I have ever experienced in my life.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 41690
   Posted 7/14/2017 2:51 AM (GMT -6)   
I have found that the pets are the most comforting for me. They love unconditionally.

I hope you do try to get out a bit. It is not as easy as some think. I get super anxiety when I have to go anywhere. But I do find it is good for me to socialize a little.

Hang in there...

Hugs, Karen...
Moderator-Depression


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies
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