Gentle hugs to you Chartreux. A loving welcome to the sad sisterhood.
Be gentle with yourself. The best advice I got when my Mom died was from my oldest brother...Do NOT feel any guilt if you are feeling somewhat relieved. There is so much pressure when we spend any amount of time 'waiting'. Take some time to adjust to your new 'position in the universe'.
multiple surgeries for rotator cuff both shoulders with residual chronic impingement syndrome, ulnar nerve transposition, carpal tunnel release, wrist ganglionectomies/denervectomies/tenolysis, multiple herniated discs, tarlov cyst, whiplash, bursitis of hips, tendonitis, torus, 3rd degree shoulder separation, torn labrum, ovarian cysts, fibroid tumors of the uterus