What can be done for a elderly grandmother who is now wheel chair bound?

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Redjeep
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2005
Total Posts : 1024
   Posted 1/1/2006 7:23 AM (GMT -7)   
      My childerns 93 year old great granmother took a fall last weekend and broke her hip.  The docs. say that she will never walk again.  Her attitude as you can imagine is unforgiving to any of us.  She went from assitied living to unassitied living.  Now she has to go back to assisted living.
       She is having trouble controling her temper and is very nasty.  We love her and know that she does not mean any of it.  I thought some one out there would have ideas that would help her or us cope? Now that she can not get around as much that you might have some ideas of things we can bring her.
                    THANK YOU                 
                        RJ

Nanse
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2005
Total Posts : 217
   Posted 1/1/2006 8:59 AM (GMT -7)   
Dear RJ,
 
I'm sorry to hear of your Grandmother's fall and confinement to the wheelchair. Evidently they cannot repair the hip to restore her walking? I also assume her doctors are aware of her aggitation and have considered medications to help, just as people take for anxiety due to other situations? My grandmother was a realtively good patient then in her mid 90's became belligerant and a medication was added to her morning coffee; she was not doped, but was calmer and not aggitated and could enjoy the little things she enjoyed (a banana being at the top of her list!!).
 
She needs things to do to: 1. keep busy, occupied, happy, fulfilled and 2. to assist her feeling of  independence and to make her feel necessary and that she matters.
 
Does she sew? Can you bring her real (or created) clothing repairs such as buttons to sew on? (if you don't have any, get something from a thrift store and remove a button or two...). Does she read? Can she still read or would she enjoy a book on tape or CD? Could she sort and date and identify photographs and even put them in albums? Coud you give her a tape recorder and ask her to record her life with all the details? Are there stimulating activities where she is? Music, TV, just a common room where she can see others and watch the help come and go as they do their duties?  Can you help the facility bring in entertainers--volunteer groups to sing the old favorite songs of years gone by (or start a group yourself; the whole family could get involved: use recorded music, print up the words, and have fun!).
 
As my grandmother regressed  I gave her children's picture  books to enjoy, her favorite being one of Chirstmastime with pictures set in the late 1800's/early 1900's (she was born in 1894). She really enjoyed those.
 
I hope this helps you and I'm sure you'll think of many other ideas that would suit her as you imagine being in her position at this time of her life. You are lucky to still have her and she is lucky to have you as you are very caring and concerned for her well-being and quality of life.
 
Post back and let us know how she and you all are doing, okay? We'll be thinking of you!
 
Nanse :-)

Redjeep
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2005
Total Posts : 1024
   Posted 1/1/2006 12:23 PM (GMT -7)   
It's just so sad. I spoke to her grandaughter today. She says she conciders her grandmother already passed and will not visit her anymore. I tried to explain that there are times that she has no control over herself. She doesn't realize this or wants an exuse not to put any of her time in it. I can't make her and some of the others understand.
When she went to the hospital last fall no one told her she would not be going home. Matter of fact it was not two days later that her apartment was stripped clean. They did not even ask what she wanted done with it.
I have been diagnised with crohn's diease [last october] and have been real sick here lately. I just find it so sad that she would be treated that why. her life has not been easy. Right now I am Stuck at home due to the meds. I'm on. I can't drive. I would hate for my family to do that with me. Like nanna sometimes I have my moments too.
Thank you for the advice. Was not real sure where to ask about it. You know she has to be a little depressed.
rj

Nanse
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2005
Total Posts : 217
   Posted 1/1/2006 9:18 PM (GMT -7)   
I'm so sorry for you're Crohn's. Quite a few here have that too, so keep posting! Especially look for Lyn's posts; she is a moderator and a 'Crohnie' as she calls it, too.

Post back here anytime. I'm so sorry about the grandmother's situation. I agree with you, 93 or not, she must be feeling depressed. Lots of visitors will help!

Nanse
Nanse


Oldtimer
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2003
Total Posts : 208
   Posted 1/3/2006 7:28 PM (GMT -7)   

I don't blame her for being angry. Her world is upside down and she doesn't like it. I wouldn't either.

First observation - it happened so recently that it will take time for things to change, for her to change (if she does).

No one likes to be around someone nasty. People are turning away from her. I understand that too. But she needs someone to listen so she can get things off her chest.

Ed

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