My boyfriend broke up with because he said he is broken

Is staying in relationship with a depressed person worth it?
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tracy458
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2017
Total Posts : 9
   Posted 7/28/2017 1:22 PM (GMT -6)   
Last night out of the blue my boyfriend broke up with me. Needless to say I am devastated. We are both divorced, in our 50's. Our divorces were bad, his much worse than mine. His children wouldn't talk to him at first, but now they are starting to see him some.

I know he loves me, he told me and was crying as we hugged when I left. He is suffering from depression and has been seeing a therapist. He now has an appointment with a psychiatrist in a couple weeks. He tild me he is broken and he is breakung up with because it would eventually hapoen in 6 months or a year. I love this man with all my heart. I just can't give up.

We've been living together for a year and half.

Please any help would so appreciated

F27
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2016
Total Posts : 840
   Posted 7/28/2017 1:50 PM (GMT -6)   
I dunno, Tracy. I guess the answer to your question is that it depends on the depressed person.

It takes two people to make a relationship, but only one to bust it up. My only advice to you is to take a week or two and establish what's important to you. People aren't disposable, and you should never let yourself be treated like you are. I know you love this guy, and my guess is there's a pile of stuff leftover from both of your divorces that have flavored your relationship in such a way that you became very close very fast. Nonetheless, breathe deep and ask yourself if you're willing to be on the receiving side of this kind of stuff again and again, because that's definitely a potential with a mentally ill person.

I wish you well, and hope that time gives you the gift of perspective.

tracy458
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2017
Total Posts : 9
   Posted 7/28/2017 2:27 PM (GMT -6)   
Thank you so much for the response. I've been reading things all day today on depression. We are going to talk tonight, but at least I have a little more information. I have everything at his place so its going to be so hard going through this.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 41707
   Posted 7/28/2017 2:40 PM (GMT -6)   
Is he getting any help for his depression, such as therapy or a psychiatrist to prescribe medication? Just curious...

I agree with F27. Take some time and think on it. Ask yourself some very important questions. Though I feel with help, his mindset could change, but it takes a long time to get better...

Welcome to the depression forum,

Hugs, Karen...
Moderator-Depression


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

tracy458
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2017
Total Posts : 9
   Posted 7/28/2017 3:17 PM (GMT -6)   
Yes, he is seeing a therapisr and has an appointment made to see a psychiatrist. Its hard to think of letting him go. He is a great guy abd he is so hard on himself sometimes. I guess I never really understood how depression affects a person.

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 19782
   Posted 7/29/2017 3:15 AM (GMT -6)   
seeing a shrink, tick, therapy, tick. depressive talk going on from him, it's called stinkin' thinkin' in the mental health world. early intervention, chance to heal and fully recover.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 41707
   Posted 7/29/2017 3:17 AM (GMT -6)   
It is crazy. When depressed, we aren't ourselves. Things are more irritating, our fuses are short, we think too much. Nothing seems right to us. All this rolled up into a ball with not being able to make a decision. It just becomes too much.

Yes we are hard on ourselves because nothing we do seems right to us. It is just crazy at times. I am glad you are understanding it. We blame ourselves for everything... We are afraid of disappointing others too.

It is just that there are no time limits. It can take some people years to get better, and it all seems so hopeless in the meantime.

I hope that things get better for you. Keep posting as it does help...

Hugs, Karen...
Moderator-Depression


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

tracy458
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2017
Total Posts : 9
   Posted 7/29/2017 7:14 AM (GMT -6)   
We did meet last night, it was hard but at least it ended better than expected. Its going to a process and a long road for both of us. We both agreed to keep communication open. I am going to encourage and support him any way I can. I've also come to realize that I need to work on myself as well. My communication skills are not very good. He told me he didn't expect me to wait but appreciates my concern and appreciates my understanding and willingness to be patient.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 41707
   Posted 7/29/2017 10:58 AM (GMT -6)   
Awesome... Yes, continue to work on you as he will be working on himself. Take it one day at a time.

Hugs, Karen...
Moderator-Depression


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

tracy458
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2017
Total Posts : 9
   Posted 7/29/2017 6:11 PM (GMT -6)   
Thank you, Its going to be a long road but we are both worth ir. I joined a depression support group today meeting later bext week. I hope I might gain a little bit more understanding... I am lost as to how to move forward

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 41707
   Posted 7/29/2017 7:09 PM (GMT -6)   
Moving forward... Do you work? Do you have hobbies? Or things that you just enjoy doing? I would try to stay optimistic. Try to do the things that you enjoy. Focus on the "now". Not the future or past. I mean as in dwelling on things. Keep trying to make accomplishments. Small goals. Keep trying to improve your life.

Just don't give up...

Hugs, Karen...
Moderator-Depression


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies
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