You're in a tough spot.
The only thing that comes to mind is what Alanon (sp?) calls "Intervention" ... when Family and Friends, set a time to come over and talk to the person and give them alternatives, etc. etc..
He doesn't talk suicide talk, does he ?
If he won't listen to a Nurse/Wife, then Loving Intervention is all I can think of.
I'm sorry for you and for him. I hope he gets the desire to get help soon.
Holding on to hope with you.
Not sure if you are still reading these postings, but just came across while doing a search with spouses with depression. My husband sounds exactly like yours. Sometimes feels like I am the one with the problem. We rec no help from his family, they are in more denial about his depression than he is. I love him dearly, will never lose hope, but BOY is it difficult and I do not know anyone else in this position. We too, just went three weeks without a drink, then BAM..well, the story goes on and on and I would love to chat..just wanted to know if you were still reading.Take care:)
I checked out the web page for Women for Sobriety and it says that only women who are themselves alcoholics may attend. Let me know if this is not what you have found. I will check into those two books as well. I just read Emme Aronsons "Morning Has Broken" about her husband surviving two years of depression. It was a fantastic book, however, her husband was totally willing to receive help, therefore making it completely different from my situation. My husband has rec'd help, and has been diagnosed with both cyclothymic and hypothymic mood disorders, but once diagnosed, he refused meds and stopped going to his doctor altogether.
All in all, I think I am holding up pretty well. Right now, I am going through a phase of trying to separate myself from him as much as possible while still loving him dearly and living under the same roof. I am also trying to start some sort of support group for people like us because this has HURT so much and there is no one to talk to (except my church family, but none of them have lived with a depressed spouse). He is one of NINE children and none of his siblings will help at all. I have no one to do any type of intervention with me or anything. What I wouldn't give to see him happy again:)
Have a fantastic day. I hope we can keep in touch.
Luckily, I was able to obtain a free membership at the gym for my husband..I will take him most days (he can't drive right now) even if it means I do not get to go myself, because he seems so much better after working out for two hours. The problem is, if he drinks, then he will go two or three days without exercise at all. We do have two little children. Two WONDERFUL children:) I can't go to therapy now, as my husband lost his job and we do not have health insurance. This is the excuse he uses for not going to therapy as well. Like you, I think I will write a letter to his therapist asking to please contact my husband and see if he can work out a payment deal, but other than that, i will stay out of it.