I truly believe that your story could help some people, if they can apply it into their own personal experience(s).
Having worked in an ICU and Hospital, after any trauma, no one in the Hospital expects a trauma patient to "act like themselves" or "have control".
The mechanics of a trauma, to the degree that you and your husband underwent, affects the entire central nervous system, plus some.
And in your case the depression was "situational" also.
I believe most depressions are either from childhood/life experiences that we haven't worked through, organic disease, situational or choices we make. Like unresolved guilt, etc. etc..
All depression is not the same. People with Traumatic Brain Injury have the organic type, just as one example. (Not that far removed from what you went through, 'in a sense.')
You shouldn't blame yourself for 'all' of your behavior at that time. We don't know completely about those folks who wind up in the Trauma Unit or ICUs, but one thing any Hospital worker knows, that the folks in there are seldom "themselves" and with trauma ... it's unpredictable 'when' they'll be themselves again, and that's an "organic" reaction to the trauma to the body, besides situational.
On a Forum like this, there are all types of "causes" for these folk's depression.
But I liked your contribution, because for those who haven't been through their mother's death and then shortly after, got hit at 70 miles per hour on a motorcycle and have a husband with Hepititis C, etc. ... they can take an example from this, regardless of the cause of their depression.
Hi stillrecovering, I couldn't of said it any better than Ann has......
It sounds as if you have a caring, supportive husband and extended family you are truly blessed! Take care. ~elisha
Hi Stillrecovering, I know exactly what you mean. This past October I was in the hospital in St. Louis getting ready to have my second surgery done on my pacemaker as I had pulled out the leads due to passing out (low blood pressure). The hospital had not been giving me my meds for 3 days so I didnt have my Zoloft and was very cranky. I was a total crab to my mom, who was and has always been there for me no matter what, I yelled at a physical therapist (this I dont regret so much ). I think I am better living on the antidepressants than not.