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pixieD
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 21
   Posted 1/25/2006 5:47 PM (GMT -7)   
I'm new to the forum and probably sound just like all of the other newbies. I don't know where to start and couldn't possibly begin to tell my story. I'm really depressed right now. I've been in therapy for over 3 years and I seem to be worse off than I was 2 years ago. I've been through a lot of stuff in the past year and I'm starting to wonder if this is just how I am now. I don't want to hate life and wish I was never born anymore. Therapy hasn't worked for me. I tried anti-depressants for a short period of time but I hated being on them. I don't know what to do anymore, I feel like I have no other options. Can anyone offer any advice or suggestions?

MIgrunt
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 64
   Posted 1/25/2006 6:43 PM (GMT -7)   
PixieD, what kind of meds were you on?  How long did you take them for?  What kind of therapy are you going through? Not everyone reacts the same to treatments, both medicine and therapy.  I'm sure someone here can provide good advice but could we have a little idea of what's up?  Don't need to get personal and if you don't want to that's O.K. too!

pixieD
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 21
   Posted 1/25/2006 6:56 PM (GMT -7)   
thanks for responding. I went on the birth control patch for my ex-bf. It made me seriously crazy, even suicidal (that was post-breakup). I went off of it after he broke up with me a year ago. As soon as I went off of it I got a lot better but I still wasn't ok. After a breakup in a short term relationship I realized that it was still having an effect on me plus now I had all of these breakups to deal with. So I went on Lexipro for 3 months to counteract the chemical blast my body took from the birth control. After that my mom had a stroke, she's only 53 years old and it was very unexpected. Then my sister got sick and my grandmother passed away, I was ok with both of those things.

The thing is I think the depression was always there but has become much more serious. When I was 14 I was diagnosed with Hashimoto's thyroiditis and one of the side effects is depression. I think that's where it stems from. Everything that happened over the last year just made it a million times worse.

I don't know what else to do and I'm feeling really bad today.

Post Edited (pixieD) : 1/25/2006 6:59:59 PM (GMT-7)


Oldtimer
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2003
Total Posts : 208
   Posted 1/25/2006 7:31 PM (GMT -7)   

I was lucky years ago to have a therapist who really was good. I called him out of the yellow pages. Just lucky I guess.

I say this because I learned later on how lucky I was to get someone really good. Not everyone does.

Perhaps you need a different therapist. I think three years is long enough to see a positive difference.

Ed


pixieD
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 21
   Posted 1/25/2006 8:19 PM (GMT -7)   
I'm afraid I won't make it long enough to find another doctor. I think I have to get on medication soon.

els
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 4031
   Posted 1/26/2006 8:50 AM (GMT -7)   

Ok Pixie,  Here's the thing the birth control patch Ortho Evra - Can cause severe depression.  You have had some serious upsets in your life as you have explained in your posts.  You may not think that they have effected you all that much but it is possible that they have.  And by the way you write it sounds as if they have.  My one question is do you have a family practice doctor?  If so call him or her today.  Get an appointment to be seen this week and stress that it is important that you be seen.  As MIgrunt said there are lots of meds out there to help.  You can make an appointment with a counselor later.  Please keep us informed of how you are doing......

~elisha


pixieD
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 21
   Posted 1/26/2006 9:23 AM (GMT -7)   
I'm scared and resistent to going on another medication because I had such a bad experience with Lexapro. My life stopped dead because I was too tired to do anything, I could barely get to work. I know that everything that happened over the past year has had a profound effect on me and I'm not sure if I have a choice with starting another medication, I may have to.
 
Has anyone tried St Johns Wort as an alternative to prescription meds?  Do all of these medications cause a dependency? I'm worried that I will never be able to get off of them.
 
I know my questions and thoughts are all over the place I just don't know what to do first. I'm really confused. I think I'm going to quit my therapist and try a CBT therapist.

Sadgirl2
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2004
Total Posts : 110
   Posted 1/26/2006 8:06 PM (GMT -7)   
I also am not a fan of medicine. The thing is you really need to use it when you get as low as you sound like you are. I would call your general doctor if you don't have a psychiatrist to explain what you have been on, what your concerns are and see what they can offer. Just taking that action might make you feel better.

I fight taking medicine alot. I hate having to try new ones only to find they don't work. When you find the right one though it is great. The same thing goes for a therapist. I have been through a few, but have finally found one that works good for me. I has to do with how the two of you work together and if you make progress.

Best of luck to you,
Terri B
 
 


pixieD
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 21
   Posted 1/26/2006 9:34 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks everyone for posting. I thought I could wait to find a new doctor to get on meds but I don't think I can. I'm going to call my general practitioner in the morning and try to get an appointment soon.

els
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 4031
   Posted 1/27/2006 8:18 AM (GMT -7)   
Pixie, I am so glad that you have come to this conclusion.  I think it is a wise decision.  Sometimes it is just a matter of finding the right medication for you.  Antidepressants do not cause dependency.  This is a major misconception with a lot of people because when they go off of the meds (hopefully they taper off with phys. supervision) they usually have adverse side effects.  This is because the medications are keeping a normal balance or levels of Serotonin and Norepinephrine in the brain and going off the meds disrupts this balance.  You should still be able to function through out the day as normal on an antidepressant if you are on the right medication.  You just need to communicate with you doctor on how you feel.   Please keep us informed of what happens.  I hope that you are able to get an appointment soon.  My thoughts are with you......

~elisha


pixieD
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 21
   Posted 1/27/2006 2:34 PM (GMT -7)   
I called my general practitioner today and he prescribed Effexor over the phone. (We've discussed it before in person before and he told me I could just call and let him know if I was ever ready to start again) The pharmacy is out but I'll start it on Monday so I just have a couple of days to get through.

I have a new therapist I can call. Hopefully that will work out.

I'm pretty scared to both start the medicine and start with a new therapist. I hope the Effexor doesn't have too many negative effects on me.

cliche SAHM
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 31
   Posted 1/27/2006 3:41 PM (GMT -7)   
pixieD,
elisha is correct, they are not habit forming - but they are had to discontinue. Some people have to cut back really slowly to not get side effects when quitting anti-depressants. BUT, communicate your concerns with your doctor when you feel it's time to go off of them, and tell him/her that you want to take it very slow and cautiously.
Starting medicine again is a tough decision to make. I'm just starting on meds again, and avoided it for too long. Good luck with your journey - I think this is a good place for people like us to be able to talk and share!

els
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 4031
   Posted 1/28/2006 6:31 AM (GMT -7)   
pixie,  I am so glad that you were able to get a hold of your doctor and get a prescription.  I just started taking Effexor XR two months ago and it has worked really well for me.  I have energy during the day and don't feel like a zombie with no emotions like I did on some of the other antidepressants.  I so hope that this one works out for you........

~elisha


pixieD
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 21
   Posted 1/30/2006 12:53 PM (GMT -7)   
I started the Effexor today at lunch and I'm feeling dizzy. I know it is a side effect but is it something that goes away or you get used to?

pixieD
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 21
   Posted 1/31/2006 7:09 AM (GMT -7)   
One final update. I had some serious panic problems from this one day on Effexor and decided that it isn't the right medicine for me. I'm going to call a Cognitive Behavioral Therapist later this morning and try to get better without medication. I was in really bad shape last week but have been feeling a little bit better since Friday. I'm still depressed but I'm not desperate like I was on Wednesday and Thursday. I kind of wonder if it had anything do with my therapy session on Wednesday. I'm really determined to get better and I'm going to try my best to do it without medication. I'm going to try to exercise more, take my vitamins religiously, and start CBT. I'm trying to stay positive that this will help me to overcome my problem.
 
Thanks to everyone for their help and support while I was going through a tough time.

els
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 4031
   Posted 2/1/2006 7:59 AM (GMT -7)   
Pixie, I really hope that this helps for you.  For a lot of people depression can be just a situational thing but most is caused by something more deep rooted such as abuse issues.  Whatever the cause therapy is always a good idea.  Please keep us updated on how you are doing and feel free to come back and post anytime you are much welcome here.

~elisha


*MovinOn*
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 22
   Posted 2/1/2006 1:08 PM (GMT -7)   
If you've been in therapy for 3 years and on meds, perhaps you may want to consider a different theapist. I'm sure that thought may be frightening to you but maybe some new insight from a new face could help. Finding the right therapist is a challenge and finding the right one for you is the key. I wish you well.

pixieD
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 21
   Posted 2/14/2006 12:44 PM (GMT -7)   
sad  I'm back and so is my depression. I've been up and down a lot since my first post but it's really bad again. I have had some bad experiences with medication and after nearly killing myself from the hormones in the BC patch I don't trust medications anymore. I'm still so angry about what happpened with the birth control. I started CBT and left my old therapist which I think was a smart move but I'm still very depressed. I'm not sure if anxiety is causing depression or vice versa.  Nothing seems to be working for me and I'm just getting worse. I'm starting to realize just how crazy I am and how poor my self-esteem is.  I have trust issues that are getting really bad and I'm anxious and seemingly paranoid. I wish I could just go back to how I was a year and a half ago before the Major Depression started but I can't seem to get there and it just feels hopeless.  I have lost interest in the things I used to do, I have gained so much weight that I feel uncomfortable in my own skin, I'm tired all the time, I can't relax, I can't concentrate, and I have no self esteem. I've spent my whole life since I was diagnosed with thyroid disease at 15 trying to have what seems so natural for everyone else and I'm so tired of fighting to be a healthy person. I really don't know what to do anymore, medication, therapy, books, nothing seems to make it go away. I don't even know what kind of advice I'm expecting, I don't think I'm fixable, but if anyone has found other ways that I'm not thinking of to get better I'd really like to hear about them.
 
Thanks

els
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 4031
   Posted 2/15/2006 6:24 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi pixie,  I'm sorry that your having a rough time.  I can understand your feelings perfectly as I myself at one time have felt the way you described.  The suggestion I would have for you would be to communicate with your physician or therapist your feelings.  You mentioned that you are going to a Cognitive Behavioral Therapist.  I wonder if they recommend you continue without the more typical forms of counseling and medication?  You also stated before that you have a mistrust of medications but it is imperative to remember that Major Depression more times than not can not be cured or controlled with therapy alone.  If you had cancer would you have it treated?  or another major disease?  Depression is a chemical in-balance in the brain, there are some wonderful medications out there that can give you back your life and help you feel better.  Yes, everyone is different and doctors are not miracle workers and do not know right off what will work for you or not.  The same way with the Ortho Evra Patch, lots of people do not have any problems taking it.  Even though you did.  Something to think about.  Medications and treatments are always a personal choice I just hate to see someone suffer who doesn't have too.

~elisha
A friend in need is a friend in deed. ~ mid 11th; 5th Century BC in Greek


pixieD
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 21
   Posted 2/15/2006 7:10 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks for your respons els. I know I have a hormonal imbalance but I can't find anything that works. I really do not want to go on medication again. I haven't found one that worked for me and for the one that wasn't horrific to be on, I hated the side effects and they made me emotionally numb. Maybe there isn't a medication out there for me. I don't know. I'll bring it up with my CB Therapist but I'm really against it. I'm not going to start another drug until I research it completely and talk to a number of people who have used it. If I had done that with the patch I wouldn't be going through all of this in the first place. Sometimes we really have to pay an undue amount for the stupid decisions that we make.

Makenzie
New Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 10
   Posted 2/15/2006 9:23 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Pixie
I can relate to your frustration in the decision to take an anti-depressant. I too, can't stand the weird feeling some of them make you feel.
I tried several that seemed to dehabillitate my performance on the job and simply made me feel drugged. I have been very depressed as I am taking care of my-mom-in law. My husbands dr. put him on remeron and it seemed to instantly help him with anxiety and depression,with hunger as the only side effect. So I decided i'd give the remeron a try. I can't even tell you how less stressed I am since. I suffer from PMS. Since I've been taking remeron, all pms symptoms are gone, including the severe cramping. So try not to give up on finding the right medication, it took me several to find one that has helped me. You are in my prayers!!

pixieD
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 21
   Posted 2/16/2006 7:01 AM (GMT -7)   
My depression wasn't so bad yesterday. It's really terrible today, I've been crying all morning and I'm at work. My weight is becoming a huge issue for me. Someone has suggested taking Selenium because it's supposed to help people with Hashimotos (thyroid disease) and depression. Has anyone tried this?

Makenzie - I'll look into Remeron but I won't take it if it makes me gain weight and from what you're saying it seems like it does.
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