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Melissa_84
New Member


Date Joined Feb 2006
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 2/8/2006 8:11 AM (GMT -7)   
Hey All, I'm new here and I would like to introduce myself. My name is Melissa, I live in Quebec, Canada I'm 21 years old, and proud parent, and I've been suffering from manic depression since I was 13. From ages 13 to 16 were the worst years of my life. So hard. Then around 17 years of age things let up a bit and I was good until I was 19 - I had my first episode in 2 years and boy was it a doozie! From then on I've been slipping in and out of light depressions until November 2005. In November I slipped into a massive depression and now, 4 months later, it still hasn't let up. I'm freaking out, everytime I slip into a severe depression I withdraw from everything, when I was younger and depressed I dropped out of school because of it, when I was 19 I broke up with my son's father because of the depression and now at 21 I've lost my job because of the depression. I'm so sick of feeling like this, the thoughts that go thru my head I can't help but wonder why I'm so messed up. I haven't gone to my doctor about it because every other time I did, he'd slap me with a prescription of Paxil and send me on my merry way. Now - as far as I'm concerned Paxil doesn't do crap! I was on it for a long time and it never helped. So I started seeking the help from trained professionals, just to be told I was a spoiled brat and that that was my problem. After that, I gave up on looking for help and tried to help myself... boy did that ever go wrong. I thought if I started a journal I could slowly dig myself out of the hole I was in - that didn't work. Lately I've been thinking maybe I'm better off in a nut-house. Like seriously, I'll admit I had a rought life of abuse and all - and between that and the depression, I am seriously messed up. I live in fear of screwing up my life so bad that it affects my son, and I REALLY don't want that. I have all these dreams and goals but I keep getting run of course because of this darn depression. I'm just so fed up. At this point I don't know what I can do to just be normal. I don't really talk to anyone about it even tho I should. But what do I say? Anyways - I came here not sure what I'm looking for, but maybe being here and talking with other people will inspire me somehow.

Sincerely,
Melissa

els
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 4031
   Posted 2/8/2006 10:46 AM (GMT -7)   

Good Morning Melissa,  Welcome to Healing Well.

You said that you are "suffering from manic depression" I wondered if you have received this diagnosis from a doctor or you are just assuming that this is what it is.  The reason that I wonder is that Manic Depression is typically Bipolar Disorder and if you do have this diagnosis you do need to see a psychaitrist and need to be on medication for it.  I worked in the mental health field for many years and am very knowledgble regarding this type of illness.  To let it go untreated can only lead to disaster. Especially if you have a child to care for. The doctor that put you on Paxil, is he a psychiatrist? or a family doctor?  This is going to make a differance. 


~elisha


Melissa_84
New Member


Date Joined Feb 2006
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 2/8/2006 6:53 PM (GMT -7)   
It is doctor diagnosed... I know I'm bi-polar and my mother wasn't sure about the first doctor who diagnosed me so she got a second and third opinion from 1 psychologist and 1 psychaitrist from the local Mental Health Clinic... I can't tell you how many times I've been to the local looney bin for "tests" - just to determine that I'm ****ed up - hell I could have told them that from the get go. Anyways, I fully understand the affects it can have on me (trust me, I've been dealing with it for almost 10 years now). And the doctor who prescribed me the paxil was just a family doctor but after the meds were given to me, I called the local mental health clinic and asked their opinion... And to be quite honest I have seen everything from family doctors to ER docs (my last suicide attempt was 5 years ago) to psychologists to psychaitrists to social works and therapists ... I've seen them all, and they dont do crap all. Meds is one thing (if they actually work) but I'm thru with doctors... And sure - there are times when I think of killing myself - and the only thing that stops me is my son. My son is almost 3 years old and I didn't suffer much post-partum ... on the contrary - I hated being pregnant, the pains and the kicks and the punches, I was glad he was out... lol.

Melissa

wiley
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2006
Total Posts : 61
   Posted 2/9/2006 12:24 PM (GMT -7)   
Melissa,

I am not a specialist of any kind however have friends who suffer from depression and are bipolar. I suffer from anxiety and OCD and was prescribed Paxil and it worked great for 4 years. Then I went off it and kaboom. Back again to the anxiety. I would get depressed and still do, becasue I have anxiety. Now I am on Zoloft and Klonopin. The Zoloft I do not believe is working, as I beleive it has "pooped out" taking it for 5 years. If you have been diagnosed with bipolar or manic depression, there are much better medications (and safe ones too) that have entered the market in the past two years. My friends have never been better and are living normal lives. Sometimes they have setbacks, however they do not last long. These two friends are successful in their jobs, have started families and this is after they were so down in the dumps. I don't know the meds that they are on, all I know is that Paxil is not usually for bipolar or manic depression. There are many others out their, some that are combined together that do wonders for people. They actually make these people funner to be around then my friends who say they don't have any issues.

You will see, as soon as you seek care from another physician and try different meds, your worls will change for the better. I also just found out that more money has been spent on developing new anxiety/depression medication over the past two years than any other ailment. Maybe one day, the magic pill will come out and we'll all be ok. Until then count one day at a time and things will get better.

Wiley

els
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 4031
   Posted 2/10/2006 8:46 AM (GMT -7)   
Well, my education and training is in the mental health field which I have worked in for over 10 years.  I worked with people with severe mental disorders like bipolar and schizophrenia.  My boyfriend now has bipolar disorder.  Having said this.......
Paxil is an appropriate medication for bipolar.  You have to think that bipolar is manic depression and doctors treat the depression as well as the mania when faced with someone who has bipolar.  My boyfriend took Paxil along with a host of other medications for a couple of years until recently when he underwent a medication change.  He has been stable on his medication for over 2 years without any symptoms of his illness.
Melissa,  It is your choice if you what to go to the doctor and take medications for your illness.  I just want you to know that you dont have to put yourself through this and there are alot of good treatments for bipolar now.  But regardless of what you choose to do, we are here to support you in anyway we can........
p.s.  I want to let you know also that Heal Well does have a forum for Bipolar Disorder if you havent visited it yet.  There are some great people there.
~elisha

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