Post Edited (hposi03) : 2/15/2006 11:23:59 AM (GMT-7)
I am sorry that you are feeling this way. And also that your friends have all moved away from you. You asked "Could some one explain to me what people are looking for in a friend?" there really isn't anyway for someone to answer this as everyone is different and requires different things in friends and the people they hang out with. It is very difficult when you feel alone and isolated. Have you tried any sort of counseling for the feelings that you are having?
You have friends here, keep posting. ((((hugs))))
Single young (24 years) female here. Live in the country FAR from family, recently left an abuse relationship turned stalker so friends are minimal if any at this time. I TOTALLY understand your comment about the "little" things that are BIG when NOTHING is right and it seems like there isn't a sole that understands. There are many of us out here...single and coping
Putter, That was very nice thank you. It is something to reflect on.
I have been thinking of this topic all week and in relation to my own life. I have to say that even though It may be nice for those of us "singles" to have someone to lean on you have or want to take into consideration how devastating depression can be on a relationship. I know this first hand and although my marriage didn't break up because of depression it was certainly a big factor in it and some of the things that transpired during it. Just wanted to give a little different perspective here....
Don't you guys think that you are stronger though, being you learn to cope on your own, as apposed to having somebody to 'lean on' so to speak.
My husband died in 2000. Though he wasn't the most supportive of me, I know that I did lean on him through my depression. But when he died, I was alone, and scared. I didn't know how to cope by myself. I had to find ways to interact with people on my own and frankly it was easier to just not answer the phone or the door. I think that learning to depend on yourself is the smartest thing to do because even if you are in a secure, safe environment, you never know when that will be taken away from you.
Ugly, I don't know what to say except that you must have met some pretty shallow women in your time. When people judge others by the way they look, that is downright stupid to me. I wish you luck finding the lady of your dreams.
I have been divorced for 25 years. I get my support from my therapist and my 2 sons. As far as this forum goes, I get tremendous support from everyone, even those who are married. I have never found that someone who is part of a couple hasn't been able to understand me. We are all in the same position with our feelings and the support I get is from someone who is able to help me with a problem. Their ability to relate is amazing and when I have a problem that is what we concentrate on. So please understand that we get help from everyone. I am a little older but I still get support from the younger people who are here. Please give it a chance - I think you will be surprised how much help you will receive. Wishing you the best and I will answer your posts to try to help you.
Welcome to HealingWell and I think the one thing we all have in common here is depression. That is the bond that ties us together. You may be single but I do understand where your coming from. I attended many social gatherings as a single married woman as my husband is not into social events. Now that is an akward position.............people all want to know where your spouse is. In fact I have had people would say they did not believe I had a spouse as they had never met him.
Also we understand each other, we do not have to have everything in common to feel your pain. I lost a son to a car accident but I will post my issues here if they happen to be related even thow even if only a few of the members have gone through the same experience all of the members understand why I would be upset.
We are all here for you and we may not know exactly how your feeling but we have great empathy for you.
So please know we are the world and we are all different yet we are the same.