Do any of you think that our society contributed to our deppression?

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Papa Bear
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2006
Total Posts : 34
   Posted 2/18/2006 7:22 AM (GMT -7)   
You know the two cars, boat, motorcycle and a nice home...keeping up with the Jones thing?
 
I also believe that the massive changes and speed as of which our culture changes also fuels our problem.
 
Look how much the world has changed since 1920's, 1930's, 1940's, 1950's, 1960's, 1970's, 1980's, 1990, 2000's.
 
Now it seems that instead of generations being divided by every ten years or so, it is now only four years because of the rapid speed of technology and everything..." extreme social change"
 
Thoughts?

els
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 4031
   Posted 2/18/2006 8:30 AM (GMT -7)   

Interesting topic......

Lets see now, my depression is mostly deep rooted from childhood sexual and physical abuse by my stepfather.  Whom my mother married when I was 3 yrs old (divorced since 85).  He was in Vietnam which was tragic I am sure and also involved in something called agent orange? sound right?  Not an excuse for the abuse but figuring the way he was raised and beaten by his father as a child.  Also going into the service at a young age and the horrific things that you see sets off a chain reaction.  I don't know maybe I am just blubbering here....


~elisha
 


Papa Bear
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2006
Total Posts : 34
   Posted 2/18/2006 9:23 AM (GMT -7)   
els said...

Interesting topic......

Lets see now, my depression is mostly deep rooted from childhood sexual and physical abuse by my stepfather.  Whom my mother married when I was 3 yrs old (divorced since 85).  He was in Vietnam which was tragic I am sure and also involved in something called agent orange? sound right?  Not an excuse for the abuse but figuring the way he was raised and beaten by his father as a child.  Also going into the service at a young age and the horrific things that you see sets off a chain reaction.  I don't know maybe I am just blubbering here....

Hi Elisha,

I see where you are coming from...all I can say is I am very sorry...Whenever I hear of crimes against children I want our judicial system to forgo a trial and just put a bullet in the back of the person who committed the crimes head..."bang!" and be done with it...unfortunately that’s not where it ends as you well know

 

Dan

els
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Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 4031
   Posted 2/19/2006 6:55 AM (GMT -7)   

Hi Dan,

Yeah, I know all too well.  One of the things that I was most obsessed with for probably the last 10 or 12 yrs is that he didn't serve any prison time and basically wasn't punished for what he did to me.  A judge let him off with 6 months in a mental hospital and probation.  He was allowed to remarry to a woman who had a young daughter.  Who he also molested.  Now he is on the states sex offender list.  The judge might just as well of took him into an elementary school and said pick a child.

Anyway on your earlier post, I was thinking about my ex-husband.  He works for a computer software company and makes really good money.  When we were together he always was like if his friend Joe got something new my husband had to get one too.  No matter the cost.  They liked to go fishing all the time.  So my husband goes out and buys a boat.  If there was something that he couldnt get he would get upset of depressed about it.  And sometimes even obsess over it.  I wonder if this happens more with men or women.  Like women obsess over clothing.  I always have to buy new purses and shoes.  Stay in style and have the latest jeans and things like that.  Men with electronics and cars.  I don't know.


~elisha
 


Vallie
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2006
Total Posts : 22
   Posted 2/19/2006 11:53 AM (GMT -7)   
 I get down on myself because society says you always have to be achieving something, making more money, etc, than the next guy.  I don't work, I am home in pain, I can't do those things, nor would I want to.  Too stressful,....not a healthy life style.  BUT I feel unworthy because I don't "do what I should be doing".
 
Also my looks.  If I am not skinny enough or pretty enough I am not worth anything.  Society sets the standard for this culture, and if we in real life don't measure up, then we aren't good enough. That is the message we are sent, and that is what many of us buy into.
 
My two cents........
Vallie


els
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 4031
   Posted 2/20/2006 7:26 AM (GMT -7)   
Hey Vallie,  I totally get that.  I had to quit my job this past September due to extreme health problems.  I have had a hard time not working and trying to find something to fill my days.  Society does place a stigma on people who do not work I think. 

~elisha
 


bluemeanies
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Date Joined Jun 2004
Total Posts : 1372
   Posted 2/20/2006 2:22 PM (GMT -7)   
I thought I'd give my opinion on society. I decided a long time ago that I really don't care what other people think of me and I wasn't going to waste my time and money trying to keep up with The Jones's. Who said the Jones's are all that happy? I have high standards and morals and live my life by those, not by how I appear to others. Apperances can be decieving and not everyone is going to like you, just as you won't like everyone else. I judge a person by their character, not by how much stuff they have or don't have.

Personally, rapid changes in our culture don't affect me that much. I was unemployed for 14 months due to a loss of manufacturing in the area and that caused my depression to worsen until I got insurance and medication again. Loss of work is very depressing. I don't need to have the latest technology gadget, I don't even have cable tv or satellite, just free tv for me. I recently got a cell phone and only use it about an hour a month. I have a used computer and regular dial up service. And I'm happy with what I have. I used to think I needed all that stuff but I found out I don't. I've gone from upper middle class down to upper poor class. I can't afford all the "extras" now, and it doesn't bother me that I can't. If someone likes or dislikes me because of material possesions then I really don't care to be friends with them anyway.

I'm 43 and my son is 16 and for the most part we get along pretty well. I know he gets frustrated with his grandmother for her lack of knowledge of computer things. And on occasion I have to ask him something about a new product. Maybe the younger people can give an opinion on rapid technology changes and older people.

AMDragon
New Member


Date Joined Feb 2006
Total Posts : 17
   Posted 2/22/2006 1:54 PM (GMT -7)   
Society is made up of people, but who makes up the rules? I wasn't invited to the meeting that was held to decide. I certainly would have voted down the "you have to be skeletal to be considered pretty" motion. And the whole thing of being perfect: having the perfect house, perfect car, perfect job, perfect spouse (because everyone knows that you can't be single and sucessful; or maybe thats just me)- just one big crock of . . . well you get the idea.

Sadsong
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2006
Total Posts : 344
   Posted 3/11/2006 11:43 AM (GMT -7)   
I would agree that the society we live in plays a role in depression. (The whole nature vs. nuture debate). But I would also like to point out that a lot of different societies from around the globe and across time have dealt with people who have depression. To me, it seems like the bigger problem today is a lack of social connectedness within our communities. It seems like on average and overall we are not eating dinner together, aren't volunteering, are spending more time in the car commuting, and are spending more time on the computer or watching tv than we have in the past. No one seems to have the time to do the things that make communities stronger, because we're all so wrapped up in our own little worlds.

jjjjj
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2006
Total Posts : 24
   Posted 3/13/2006 10:20 AM (GMT -7)   
I often find myself feeling jealous of others. I will feel that other people like them more or this or that or whatever. I feel like life isn't fair and will be very angry. Sometimes because I am thinking of these things I will be in an angry mood then it gives me trouble in dealing with people who I am close to. 
 
I also just want to be friends with people and work together when others are being competative and sometimes down right mean.
 
There are also people who just want to get one over on me or anyone else for that matter all the time.
 
Depression is still an illness with a stigma.  Even if you had a regular old illness people would not like you for getting special treatment or wanting attention or whatever.  But depression being socially unacceptable on top of that I don't even tell anyone I have it and anyone I have told I wish they would forget.  My mother used to get on my case saying that I was just trying to get attention when the fact was I did not want anyone to know cause I am ashamed.  Even typing on this message board I am worried someone will find out who I am.

Post Edited (jjjjj) : 3/13/2006 10:29:03 AM (GMT-7)


Glenniem
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2005
Total Posts : 30
   Posted 3/14/2006 5:36 AM (GMT -7)   
I gotta add my part here, even though it is not much different than the others...
 
Society is killing me. My wife and I chose to have a full-time mom for the kids, which not only involves emotional sacrifice, but also financial as well. I am jealous of everyone as well, deep down I know they all got their crosses to bear, but all in all everyone has demons to fight. What we don't see is the internal struggles they face. We can't see their credit card debt, their sexual dysfunction, their lack of morality, etc. and we take their "success" as what is on the surface.
 
And with our sacrifices, my wife still keeps on about our financial situation and I take it personally being the primary breadwinner. I would care a lot less about society if my spouse wouldn't implicitly keep shoving it in my face.

dolly vita
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 33
   Posted 3/15/2006 6:41 PM (GMT -7)   
I think society just sets so many rules and guidelines and we thinkw e have to fit into something or else we are left out. Often times we forget what our hearts really say. Its funny if you stop in your track when you're walking in a crowded place or watch people driving on the freeway and you see everyone going so fast and so many different looks on tehir faces. Some people are happy but most people these days seem pre-occupied with something. Almost like we have to be doing something or else we would shut down. I don't see why we don't slow down a bit more. Pretty soon, our cell phones will be doing our laundry and giving us sponge baths.. I don't mean this in a negative way. Just completely throwing it out there. Depression seems almost like a trend now throughout generations. I think we're just moving so darn fast that we can't keep up sometimes and lives drag behind our wake. And here we are chatting about it..

my 2 cents..
hope that made sense, im kinda tired.

nice topic though.
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